i don't wan tto celebrate my b-day b/c he cheated the day before it? and i'm not into swinging, he honestly gets mad and says i don't want to have fun anymore ( i have played around in the past)
2006-11-17 17:52:13 · 20 answers · asked by trblmmmy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give yourself a birthday present -serve him divorce papers.
2006-11-17 17:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have a marriage that is not built on trust. The two of you have issues (cheating) and may need to seek some professional help. My opinion is that swinging is a lifestyle that those involved have to be OK with from the beginning. If you had doubts about swinging, the two of you should have ironed it out before participating. I think that when you do things that you may not want to do for your spouse that it tends to hurt in the long run. The thing is that you all can still have something postive but you will have to work on the lifestyle decisions that are being made. Communication may be hard but it is the key. If it is a problem, seek professional help. One thing is for sure if he is getting mad because you won't swing with him you shouldn't just cave in to make him happy. Sounds like there is a lot of hurt in this relationship and the two of you have to find a way to heal. The ultimate goal is to preserve the marriage, not lead a lifestyle.
Good Luck
2006-11-18 02:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Celebrate your birthday and have fun. If you "played around in the past" while married how can you criticize him for having an affair?
This whole "swinging" thing is the worst thing that can happen to a marriage. I can tell you horror stories from young couples I knew way back in the 70's when it was considered the modern chic thing to do; it does not work; the basis of trust does not exist in a marriage when the partners cheat.
Leave the pig.
2006-11-18 01:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is time for you to get out of the marriage, seriously if he cheated on you the day before your b-day and he cannot understand why you are not into the whole celebration thing then he doesn't care about you or what you want, he is only thinking of himself and he is being selfish. That is pretty much the same answer to the second question, he is a selfish A** and he needs to let you be happy, which means letting you find a REAL MAN that will love and respect you for who you are and your decisions in life/
2006-11-18 02:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you'll get some very good ideas from reading the following articles, & perhaps a few of the related articles mentioned left of their texts:
Wholesome Communication--A Key to a Good Marriage
- What Wholesome Communication Involves
- Obstacles to Wholesome Communication
- How to Promote Wholesome Communication
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm
When a Mate Is Unfaithful
http://watchtower.org/library/g/1999/4/22/article_01.htm
Why View Marriage as Sacred?
- Love and Respect
- Time and Attention
- Avoid a Casual View!
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/5/8a/article_01.htm
> Advanced Search http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find new URLs for any of the articles above whose URL gets modified (there's been a lot of that going on lately).
2006-11-18 02:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it is time for him to hit the road. That was very rude of him doing that to you regardless as to whether it was your birthday or not. He had no respect for you to cheat on you. And wanting you to swing with him on top of that. If you are not good enough for him by your self, it is time to end it for someone that will appreciate you. I don't know how long ago it was when you played around on him but from the sounds of it you don't any more, good for you.
2006-11-18 02:02:23 · answer #6 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm..
tough situation you got yourself into..
You decided to change your lifestyle and be monogamous when you used to be a swinger and I presume have an open relationship..
and you were married during your past way of life..
Did your husband agree to the changing ways, or did you just do it for yourself and to make your life change..
It takes 2 compatibile people to live in whatever way of life you choose..so if he was not happy with the change, you might not be right for one another anymore..
You have some long, serious discussions between you two before you continue on being married...
2006-11-18 01:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go out and find some1 else cause he obviously doesnt want spend time wit u anymore and thats y cheated and wants 2 swing
2006-11-18 02:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ace-Balla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have grown up but ya know a union created on sex will usually end because of it.
It doesn't help that you are BI or were, but it is like a fire and now he is burning to sleep with anyone attractive.
You must get counseling to save this and pray, if not, it will end.
If it does, its just a lesson in life as what not to do in a relationship.
2006-11-18 01:57:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you guys were once into swinging and/or cheating. If that is true then it also sounds like you have changed your mind about it but he hasn't.
If true, then you have a real problem. You are perfectly within your rights to change your mind. But he is also perfectly within his rights to not want to change his mind.
I may be completely off base here - but if I am right then it is time for you two to pack your bags.
A
2006-11-18 02:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by Alan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't into swinging ? Try it. I love to swing. I would get up early sometimes on weekends and go to the park and swing on one of the swings for an hour. It relieves stress.
2006-11-18 03:21:31 · answer #11 · answered by mrgogee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋