How can I deal with a seperation from my wife?

Question

My wife and I have been married for 7 months now. My wife just informed me that she didn't have the energy anymore because of work. She is in the Navy and she is about to go on a six month deployment in Jan. We have talked and talked but it seems to go no where. I just need some guidance here. We both are good people but I can tell that the love that she used to have for me isn't there. So what can I do?

Answer 1

Oh, I'm so so sorry but this is really hard to say- she has had a change of heart and her leaving is giving her an easy "out" from your marriage. Her absence should make it easier for you to move on- and please do, file for divorce and get on with your life- she is getting on with hers.

Answer 2

Give her space and get yourself together. I say this because your in a place right now where you would do or say anything and that can push her away further. Without knowing the history of your marriage I would say that it may be stress being that she is being deployed and that always brings uncertainty. You even said she said she didn't have the energy because of work. You are going to have to take a step aside and be her biggest supporter. Whatever you do don't let your imagination run away and think of the worst when it comes to her. Be positive always and maybe she will see that you are in her corner. Your still newlyweds and it is a stressful time. Here is something else. Stop talking so much and listen. She probably has told you what the problem is but we as men tend to look at what we think the problem is. Hear her and think about what she is telling you and support her no matter how negative it may seem. Swallow your pride, it can save your marriage. I know for a fact because if I had maybe I wouldn't be going through a divorce now. Be the man that she wants you to be, not the man you think you are. She needs you to be understanding and not to be to demanding. Maybe when she returns from her tour she will be more receptive towards you. Take the time to improve some of the things about yourself that she may not care for. Self improvement may be the ticket. Whatever you do find the strength to be more supportive even if it disagrees with the way you feel. Give her some space and time and maybe she will remember the reason why she loves you.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Great advice from William T!
All of the other answerers thus far seem under the Assumption that she no longer loves you, as you seem to be ... But,

Have you bothered to ASK her? Maybe she IS just TOO tired to SHOW her feelings right now! Isn't she in Active training of some kind, getting ready for deployment? Do you think that maybe you should 'give her a break'?

At least let her speak for herself. Assumptions can be Way Off Base! Actions based on assumptions are often Strongly Regretted! Perhaps you could get some ideas from reading the following ...

Can We Save Our Marriage?
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/1/8/article_01.htm

Wholesome Communication--A Key to a Good Marriage
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm

How to Succeed In Marriage
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/2/15/article_01.htm

Why View Marriage as Sacred?
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/5/8a/article_01.htm

EMPATHY--Key to Kindness and Compassion
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm

These are each a series of articles designed to help persons like yourselves. You might both benefit from reading them, and also considering some of them together. I recommend reading the Scriptures too, each mention of which is a direct link to the very verses it names.

> Advanced Search http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find new URLs for any of the articles above whose URL gets modified (there's been a lot of that going on lately).

Answer 4

If you really love this woman. Take all the money you can muster and sink it into a huge publicity stunt to get her attention in showing her how much you love her. You need to come up with the mother of all romantic gestures. Tell her that you would rather see her once in a while and your hearts be braided together, than to be with someone you don't love and see them everyday. If two people love each other, there is nothing in the world that can keep them apart. Just make sure you're doing your part. If she still doesn't come around? Move on.

Answer 5

Both of you will know for sure what to do and whether you can leave each other by six months. Just leave things pending for a while. You can decide after she is back from deployment.

Answer 6

I would say let her go, if her feelings aren't the same any more then why waste your time on someone who doesn't feel the same about you, at least she's letting you know instead of running off with someone else (not saying she would but you never know) then you would really be hurt if she did. So take your chance to find love again

Answer 7

Really sorry to hear you're in this position. You honestly can't "do" anything to make her love you. Tell her how you feel and go from there. Remember, you're worth being loved by somebody who loves you back. Good luck :-)

Answer 8

Sorry dawg, yall are 2 dffernt ppl livin 2 different live. just let go and move on

Answer 9

as many people as there are in the world ,I would say there is probaly at least 500 women that would be better for you than her, the chances of you finding them are slim if stay stuck on her

Answer 10

shessss lost that looooooveing feeeeeeling, oh that looooooveing feeeeelin, now its gone gone gone........so you go, grab some guys and go out. Have a blast. That will get her attention fast.