My problem with people.?

Question

Im a 17 year old attending high school. My problem is I never seem to communicate with people in general, even some of my close friends. I always end up having to think of something to say, never having any natural conversations and always ending in an uncomfortable pause.

Im beggining to think I have nothing to say because I generally dont like talking in the first place. Ive always grown up having very few friends and I've usually avoided social situations with large crowds. I tend to NEVER fit in as I am an African American in a predominately white society. Im not the same as the other blacks and im surly not the same as the whites. I dont know whats wrong with me. Any words of wisdom?

Answer 1

Well I had the same problem for years. I never talked to anyone. Never had any communication with people. It was hard for me to keep an interesting conversation with anyone for more than a minute. But that was because no one that I talked to challanged my mind enough to stick around. I met a friend of mine about 8 years ago we were down at the bus stop and he asked someone else a question of their opinion on a political matter. Well naturally I approached with curiousity and he quickly became bored with the kids response. Well I offered him my opinion and it started a conversation that has lead to more conversations that have lasted us 8 years and going. My advice to you. Find someone who challanges your mind. Even if it means taking a chance and asking a question. It is not a bad thing to have some people bore you. Have fun with it. Ask question that will mess with their minds like, "How many leaves does a pine tree have?" Then watch them think about it.

Answer 2

Hmmm, I am not sure this is a racial question. I am the same way. In fact, in a normal month, aside from work I maybe say 2 words to another person. Really. You describe my life, other than the fact that it sounds like you talk to people, leave your home etc.
I notice that the communication problems come from being stuck in my own mind, thinking about what someone has said rather than asking the next logical question.
My advice as someone who has been out of HS for a long time and started out the way you seem to be: seek professional help with your communication issues. Do it now before your life becomes so isolated it hurts.

Have you checked into whether or not you are suffering from depression? It leads to the exact situation you are speaking of just as much as social ineptitude does. That of course is a chicken/egg sort of question, does the depression cause the isolation/disinterest or does the isolation and disinterest cause the depression.

Answer 3

Just relax Sweetie and be who you are. I f you are quit then be quit. You'll know who your friends are because they will want to be around you because you are who you are whether quit or not. you feel as though you are too withdrawn then just keep putting yourself in to social situations as new experiences come so will conversation pieces. Just relax, I think everyone goes through this to some extent. I also know that culturally there are some differences between blacks and whites, don't look at your position with such a bleak out look. I'm sure that if you looked into it a little you would see that you could relate to both worlds more easily than you think.

God bless and have a great weekend! : )

Answer 4

There's nothing "wrong" with you. That's all subjective. Don't say such depressing things about yourself... retain some of that self-esteem.. PLEASE. You're just the laconic, introverted type, I guess. That's perfectly fine. Maybe it's just that you haven't developed any type of hobby you're truly interested in because if you have, then I'm sure that a conversation about that would run pretty damn smoothly. *shrugs*
Why do you want to fit in so badly? High school is totally about being an individual and defying peer pressure. It's not like you're friendless, right? Besides, it totally pisses me off when people conform... have you ever noticed that when people attempt to fit in, their idiocy starts shining? From their speech patterns to their clothing style... it's like a bunch of sheep. Don't be sheep! You sound adequate as far as intelligence goes. Don't hide that.
You don't really want to divulge EVERYTHING to your friends! It's fine to be quiet. You don't have to be intimate as long as you have fun with them.
And by the way, that African American thing is BS. I'm ASIAN, and I don't feel discriminated against, and since the number of African Americans is larger than the number of Asians in the US, don't you think it's a little silly for you to say that? Just a thought...

Answer 5

I dont think there is anything wrong with you. 17 is a hard age to go through.

You just need to get out more and meet different people. Maybe the black kids that you are meeting are just not interested in the same things as you are.

I think it has less to do with color then who you are around. Not that any one is a bad person that you are around just that you need to find friends that are interested in the same things as you are. Then maybe you will have more things to talk about.

Answer 6

There are many people out there that are racist and dont like people for their skin color, etc. But then again, I beleive there are far more people that belive in equality...so if you get out there and just join in and do things now...i can GUARANTEE you will find more friends. Many people are all talk and no walk and wont go out of their way to harrass you. Also, I'm sure there are many people in your school who feel the same way as you do and if you get out there and get involved, youd be able to interact with them and share your feelings. YOUR 17!!! HIGH SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER SO MAKE THE MOST OF IT!!! good luck

Answer 7

People have lots of pride and prejudice, it is easy for us to stick to people in are own boat in life, and not care for the rest, even despise them.

It's the easy way out of facing reality and being mature.
I guess because most people never grow up, it continues from generation to generation.

You maybe lucky to be in your situation.
It's not that you don't belong with these people or them people.
You can hang with other misfits and be like no other group out there or just go solo and still enjoy life just as much.
Pioneer a culture for yourself and be a true minority.

Answer 8

Good news. You are more intelligent than 90% of America just by being able to form and ask that question. If it makes you feel any better, most people could probably not effectively communicate with you on your level anyway. Often there isn't anything to say anyway. Find a small group of people who you actually enjoy communicating with. It's not fair for you to have to maintain a conversation.

Answer 9

Act with Confidence. Acting with confidence is trusting the value you have placed upon yourself. Its talking without fear of what others will think.
Begin to take more interest in how you look,what you eat,the fitness of your body.
Discover and encouraged your best thoughts and most promising personality traits. Concentrate on your strengths. Think of your self as special in all the world.YOU ARE!!!!
Think highly of yourself,others will be much more inclined to think in the same way about you.

Answer 10

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