im 17, my bf 21 proposed to me. i said yes. my mom thinks im too young n told me i should finish college first. both me n my bf work n go to college. at times i think im too young but im sure i luv him. gettin marry has always been my dream. alot of ppl recommend for me not to get marry yet. so should i get marry or not, if we do we are plannin on it until summer when i turn 18. i need advice n some past experiences that yall might have. thnks in advanced.
2006-11-17 17:29:57 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look, you wanna get married, you think you've found the right guy, you're responsable enough to work AND go to school so what's the problem with all these other posters???? GET MARRIED! Keep in mind that you have probably been having your period for the last 5-7 years and therefore been able to procreate for the last 5-7 years.... that is a lot of waiting time already. And wow, some people want you to wait for 15 years?!?! No girl, listen to your own common sense, do what feels natural and what you think is the right thing. Also, why on Earth do people want to encourage promiscuity, lack of commitment and sex without marriage? Or do they expect abstinence from age 15 to 28? People use your brains and realize that women and men are fertile and sexual and need a proper environment in which to fulfill their needs, and that a proper marriage to a consenting partner is often just the right answer. So who are we to discourage you? Once again, get married, think positively and fight for what you think is right, don't let the nay-sayers put you down!
P.S. I got married quite young (21) and pre-marriage counseling is a super big helper. It helps to set a strong base and to work out the wrinkles BEFORE you get married and the mindset of a person before they are married and after can be quite different and often some things are more easier to work with at the very beginning, before routine, expectations and exterior commitments (like full-time job, children, etc.) start forming.
Best of luck,
FC
2006-11-17 18:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I got married when I was 20 - and that was far too young. My son is 24 and he's not even mature enough yet.
You are just finding out what the world is about. Don't take on the responsibility of another person. Be engaged. But be engaged for 5 years. If its going to work - it will wait.
The love you feel today is not anywhere near the love you will feel in 2 years or 5 years. You will not grow together, unless he controls your every move. You will grow apart. Men aren't mature enough to handle a job at 21 let alone a wife. He should get his act together, college, profession and make his 'life'...you should do the same. Grow up...you have lots of time if its right.
Truly, love is so much deeper than you feel right now. You can't even comprehend what it is at your maturity level - or his. Not that your not mature - but God doesn't make 17 or 21 year olds to get married so young. Just because Romeo and Juliet did it doesn't make it right. The average age of death then was 30. I have a feeling you'll out live that by a lot.
Wait...enjoy learning who you really are. Then, share it.
2006-11-17 17:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes you both are too young. I married at 19 no college degree and we are married 12 years now we have a 2 year old little girl and financially hurting. He is in school to become a psychologist but he will finish in 5 years. We love each other very much, been through a lot together. He was in the military. We both agree it was not a mistake to marry each other BUT agree that we should have waited until we were out of college and had steady jobs. So just wait, if you guys really have a strong relationship you can make it work in 5 or 6 years!
2006-11-17 18:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really need to ask, then I think you already know the answer. You're too young to get married-if its meant to be, it will happen someday, believe me. Your mom is right about going to college, your education should come first in life, everything else can follow. As I said to my boyfriend the other night...I want to build my life before I share it with somebody else. I'm 19 and he's 23, I'm a freshman in college, and we plan to wait a couple years to even get engaged, and until after I graduate to get married. Its a long time, but its worth the wait..besides...I am not ready to be that much of an adult yet! I took this lesson from my parents, who got married at the ages of 19 and 22, only to get divorced when I was 3. Trust me, very few marriages last in which the couple got married young! Sorry...that's just a fact!
2006-11-17 18:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by jellybean24 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your Mom you should finish college, in today's world more marriages fail than work so if you finished school you'd at least have a way of supporting yourself well. And if you at times think your to young then you are to young. Marriage is a lot of hard work it's not just playing house and having fun. If you two really love each other and are meant to be together then waiting until you both finish school should be no problem. Don't make the mistake so many of us do by getting married at 18 or 19, having a child or two by 21 and then being in divorce court by 30. It's not fun. Couples are more apt to make it once they've had a taste of the adult world by ourselves,ie, working, paying bills, building your own credit. Learn how to take complete care of yourself before you take on the responsibility of another human be it man or child.
2006-11-17 17:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married at 19 and I regret it. I had so much to learn about life then. Instead, 1 year later, I had a baby and was tied down all the time. I didn't really have a chance to be an adult. I became a mother and a wife, and had a husband to answer to in the place of my father. Go out and experience life. Wait til after college. Going to college really changes your outlook on life and attitude towards the world. Don't get married young and deprive yourself of those wonderful experiences.
2006-11-18 03:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is NOTHING wrong with a long engagement. I live with my fiancé and we'll have been engaged for 2 years at Christmas time. (We're 22 and 23.)
There's no reason to get married right away. I really suggest you finish college first, or at least get most of the way through. I've seen too many people end up in bad situations because they didn't finish college before getting married, and their marriage didn't turn out as wonderful as they thought it would be, but they have no way of supporting themselves and their children, so they stay in a not great marriage. I'm not saying your marriage will be anything but perfect, but you have to look out for yourself and your future first. That's what I did, even though I have absolutely no qualms about my fiancé or getting married.
By the way, congratulations! :)
2006-11-17 17:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your love is meant to last you will still feel the same way when you are out of college. You have so many changes in your future. Making a big decision like that can limit the many opportunities you have lying ahead. There will be plenty of time to get married and start your own family, there will be a time in your life for that.
For right now, focus on school, building your future and keeping your relationship strong.
You'll be so thankful that you waited and made sure it was the right time.
2006-11-17 17:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by britt 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 15 when I fill in love with my now husband got married when I was 18 2 weeks after my b-day I married in court I am now 21 it was fun at first but things change I am not saying that everything went down hill but things do change we don't have fun like we use to he does not act the some way it does not matter how much he says he loves you its not going to be the some you are so young you should enjoy your life don't rush live life first have fun trust me you will regret it later down the road if you get married so you don't get me wrong I love my husband but I really wish I would have waited
2006-11-17 18:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by pookie 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound very determined and that you are sure you want to go to college and do something with your life, so no matter what your gonna be successfull...unless something may get in your way, perhaps a bf? Proposing means "will you marry me?" who said it meant will you marry me in the next year? dont you think it also means in the next 2, 3, 5, 7 years? Commitment is enough until you get your life straightened out how you want it. If you guys love eachother and yourselfs enough you would wait until the only thin missing out of your perfect dreams is eachother.
2006-11-17 18:35:14 · answer #10 · answered by Lila 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋