What can I do?

Question

My bestfriend has a boyfriend that has finally stopped doing drugs, but keeps losing his job (she doesn't work because she has three kids at home), keeps hitting her (he gave her a bruised jaw once), but still seems to be there for her. But when he does something she doesn't like, or say something she doesn't like, she comes running to me and act like I am the problem solver. Don't get me wrong, he is great for the kids and for her (it took her a while to find someone to find to love 3 kids and her), but it doesn't seem that he will be there for her later on in life.
I feel that there is nothing I can do about it. I have told her to leave him, told her to call the cops when he hit her, but she gets mad about the whole situation and doesn't talk to him and lets him continue to live with him and be with him. I see them together now, after the drugs and I see a change, but I don't know if I am seeing the real him or just an image or what he should be.

Answer 1

Any guy that'll hit a woman is not worth her time. She needs to drop the guy, big time. As far as how this affects you, I say tell your friend that you love her, you're totally there for her if she decides to kick him out or leave him, that you'll help anyway you can. If she doesn't accept it right away...it'll be tough for you to see her in that situation but there's nothing you can do until she's really ready to go. And don't forget to tell her that there's tons more fish in the sea...he's not the right one so it's time to cut bait and try again.

Answer 2

Your friend seems to accept this person for your stated reasons; being there for her and the kids, even though he hits her. Quite a dilemma that is because many times people will be blinded by love, even if there are consequences. She won't be able to forget about him easily, but the only thing you could probably do is get her to meet someone new or try to somehow talk to the guy because it seems to me he has personal issues which must be discused to release the pressure and see what is really wrong with him.

Answer 3

Well, if he is abusive..it just might be his personality..
You are posibly seeing a limpse of the real him, with more yet to come..

The drugs did not make him violant, its him..
He needs to take some anger management and some counseling, possibly a psychiatrist..

Answer 4

You need to tell her that you care so much about her and you want the best for her and you want her to get some counselling and you might have to watch her kids for her while she goes if she opt's out of this then you done all you can and just tell her to leave him or keep you out of it. Hard choice.

Answer 5

EXCUSE ME!!!!
You did say he hits her???
Yet than you said BUT he loves her and her 3 kids?
Tell her to get the heck out of there,women die everyday from their abusive partner.Let her know you don`t want to have to attend her funeral from him losing his temper and hit her once to many times.
Ask her this.
What would she say if it was YOU in that relationship?
Would she want you to move out??
Yeah I can not stress enough to get her out of there.
I lost a good friend to her abusive husband,he hit her so hard her head hit concrete wall,instantly dead.
I would not want to read in papers your friend`s obituary.

Answer 6

he sounds like a loser if you ask me. he will most likely get back on drugs and abuse her again, if it happens again you need to call someone and get her somone to talk to about it. it will help. good luck!

Answer 7

YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO BE
THERE FOR HER BUT SHE NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS
BAD SITUATION. HE MAY BE TRYING HARD TO CLEAN
HIS ACT UP BUT SHE HAS THREE CHILDREN THEY SHOULD
COME FIRST. SO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT WHAT GOING
ON. IT WIL NOT GET BETTER ONLY WORST..