I know some people will probably crack wise *** answers but this is a problem that im not sure how to face. For some reason I have difficulty getting an erection when I am intimate with my girlfriend. However, i have no problem at all getting hard while jerking off. For info, I am new to a sexual relationship which from what I have heard seems to cause this kind of problem. I just want to know if anyone out there has had this problem as well and can offer some advice. Thanks
2006-11-17 16:28:49 · 14 answers · asked by demonic_vampire69666 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
You probably have the answer already in your mind m8. Do you fancy this girl ?, do you fancy women ?. Be honest with yourself....what is it that turns you on while masturbating ?. Whatever turns you on in your mind is what you need to be chasing..........good luck m8.
2006-11-18 02:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you're sure you're not gay, and sure you're attracted to her (both reasonable things to consider... what do you think about while masturbating? Do you think about her?), then I would say you are probably a bit nervous. A man can't get an erection unless he is fully relaxed, it impedes the blood flowing into the capillaries.
Anyway, try some relaxation activities. You could get the book THE RELAXATION RESPONSE by Herbert Benson and learn to do that. It's basically meditation. Maybe take a yoga class (will do great things for your sense of masculinity, huh... lol... no, I'm kidding), or some other martial art if you prefer. Learn to relax through breath control. Then if you are with her and you're having trouble, you can use your breathing to relax, and things should proceed more normally.
2006-11-18 00:36:51 · answer #2 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's pure nervousness & shyness. If a guy is nervous he's not relaxed and blood doesn't flow good into his penile artery.
Also - please understand that the penis is NOT a machine that you can fully control with a pushbutton switch "ON & OFF". it is quite autonomous.
When you have to PERFORM & put on a show for her, this gives a man performance anxiety. this will hinder erection. You might want to smoke some strong weed which will KICK A-S-S. this may relax you or get your more uninhibited &horny.
I often have trouble getting hard even for masturbation when alone. yes it happens. I live with it. No permanent remedy exists.
but I think you'll improve over time - perhaps with a different partner. you never know. You can wait a while for sex, You got time., Bro.
2006-11-18 00:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by blackbird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What u r considering is not erection? Erection shud come before resorting to sex/masturbation. If u getting only by manipulating in masturbation, u need some counselling or may be medication or else u r too young and have started practicing masturbation prompted by the company that u keep and not due to urge for it in the form of erection.
2006-11-18 00:32:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one of two things
Either
a) you are sufferign from performance anxiety thus your worry over gettign it up, having sex and beign good at it is in fact stopping you cold. Only cure is t go for lots of foreplay and see how it progresses. And try to relax and not even bother worrying about the sex part. Jus tlet it happen when it will
Or
b) you are not actually being turned on by her or possibly any female. Doesn't necessarily mean you are gay; just that you are fine when alone but the opposite sex isn't doing it for you. Thus you may be what one might term asexual or you might be gay. Only time and experience will tell.
2006-11-19 23:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow lots of cheesedick answers so far. Your lack of ability to get an erection with your girlfriend is not uncommon. Its more nervousness than anything. I can tell you that its happened to me. These other people who answered just cant admit it. Just relax, think about how beautiful she looks, and how lucky you are to be with her in a situation like this, and things will happen naturally. Dont be worried, and assure her its not her, its just you being nervous. No big deal bro
2006-11-18 00:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by flyin_gsxr600 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you attracted to your girlfriend? That is, do you want to have sex with her? If not, then that's the easy answer. Also, not to be pushy or seem rude, but are you sure that you're straight? (My ex had this same issue and his sexuality is VERY questionable.)
Try picturing her while you're masturbating. This may help. Good luck!
2006-11-18 00:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are masturbating, the only one you have to worry about is pleasing yourself. When you are with your girlfriend, you could be wondering if you will please her, what she thinks about you, wondering if you will be a good lover, etc. I would say you are putting too much stress on yourself. Give it time....your bound to starting relaxing around her sometime, and then everything will start falling into place.
2006-11-18 00:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sue S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u hv got addicted to the blue films and find pleasure through masturbation.
my advice is u control and stop masturbation for a month and then go to ur gf
2006-11-18 00:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by anilkumar_hyd14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think about when you j/o? I mean, if you're thinking about a guy when you're alone, then.. well.. don't expect anything to happen when you're with the babe.
Also.. go slow, don't put pressure on yourself. When on a date, you should be having fun too, and just be thinking about the end-game.
2006-11-18 00:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by jackwasthere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋