My husband is making me quit my job.?

Question

I am a wife and mother. I have stayed at home with my daughter for one year. I don't have alot of friends and I rarely get out. I recently got a job and my husband and I have been fighting over it. I work 3 nights a week for 3 hrs a night, and then I work on sunday morning. It seems like everytime my work schedule comes out he gets mad with what days i am working. I have talked to my managers and told them I can't work on certain days but they keep scheduling me for them. I don't think they have enough people to work. But my husband told me I had to quit. I really enjoy my job, its nice to get out even if it is only for 3hrs. Tonight when I told him my schedule for next week he started cursing at me and threw my pillow and blanket on the couch and said he couldn't even look at me. What shourld I do? I feel like he is trying to control me. I am trying to respect him and his wishes. Its hard to keep him happy and be able to work. I feel like I should just quit.

Answer 1

I don't know that this is necessarily a control issue. My soulmate and I both work, but at one point a job change caused a situation where we simply were not able to be together as much. It was frustrating to want to get home from work and spend time together, but instead end up passing each other at the front door.

So, you either have to try to create some extra time for each other somehow, hope that your schedule eventually changes, or look for another job with a more reasonable schedule. Regardless, you definitely need to talk about it with your husband and get down to what the real problem is.

Answer 2

First of all do you "need" to work for the money? because you are saying that its because you don't have friends and rarely go out...if this is the truth you certainly don't need a job to achieve that...I am sure your husband would be a lot happier if you joined a service club or social group that met on days that he and you both found acceptable.Honestly your top priority should be your young child...I know you probably need a break from the baby but you don't need to work to do it...having an activity you join is a little different...you can still get out of the house...but don't need to rely on a set schedule that your bosses and not you set.This is the sort of thing that should be discussed before marriage and certainly before having a baby..take it from someone that knows...a part time job for a couple hours a week is not worth the turmoil and time you will miss with your child...find a hobby. as far as the other people saying "dont let him tell you what to do" you ARE a married woman...declaring that you would rather work than be a wife and mother is one step closer to marriage problems...problems need to be sorted and compromises made...demanding things in marriage will get you nothing but a lot of resentment and possibly an empty bed,

Answer 3

If I have been her, and that i think of you will locate maximum people should help understand an identical component, no way might I supply up the interest, whether it weren't one I enjoyed plenty - working and earning your individual money is your individual Independence for a initiate, and Independence delivers freedom of selection and so on. This husband as you're saying, is jealous, that's all probable in his head, I doubt if she has executed something to make him that way. He actual looks like a bully and an abuser. needs to own and administration her thoroughly. If she quits her interest issues won't get extra helpful, even though it ought to look so for a week or so, for he have been given his way, yet he's desirous to take complete possession of her, and do God knows what to her - he needless to say has a temper and is no longer adversarial to using his hands on her, this could no longer get extra helpful - in reality if she quits he paintings it gets worse. he will sense that could he bruise her in his next temper tantrum, that if she isn't working no person will understand whats rather occurring. this isn't love from him to her, this is sheer administration, the guy is a bully and is evil, she could be quiting her marriage no longer her interest.

Answer 4

You are right. He IS trying to control you. You have a right to get out on your own & work, & be productive, & he needs to be supportive of that. If your work schedule doesn't conflict with his work schedule, then his only complaint is that he doesn't have you around to take care of his daughter 100 % of the time.
He can benefit by having more involvement with his child, you can benefit by having some contact with the outside world, & the whole family can benefit from the extra income.
I think he's acting like a spoiled brat. You will find it easier to respect him when he starts to show some respect for you & your needs. If he needs a maid at home while you are out then maybe he can hire one. But it would be better if he would learn to suck it up, & be a man.

Answer 5

If you find a job that would respect your request for certain days that would be better. This same thing happened to me, more or less. When my kids were younger, I got a job at night and it really started problems. So... I got a job during HIS work hours and put my son in daycare for those few hours. This way, I was home with my hubby and I still got to work. My son got to have time to play with others and we were all happy. Those jobs are out there, and if you are going more for you to be out than to help with finances, this is a good way to accomplish everyones needs.
Marriage is not all about you, especially when you have kids. People that expect to 'be themselves' in a marriage are almost sure to divorce sooner or later. You became part of a team when you got married. He gives up things that were part of 'HIM' and you did the same. You have a child, so you both need to have peace in your household. More often than not, children whose parents both work outside the home have a rough time of it. Whether those parents want to admit it or not. We are thankfully moving back into a time where moms stay home and dads work. This makes for a harmonious home life. I agree that you need to get out, and if work is what you want than do it. That is the beauty of being a mom. Put your baby in daycare for a few hours a week, you can even get jobs (again if this isnt for financial reasons that you are going back to work) by striking deals with employers. My sons are now both in school. I applied for a job and was offered x amount. I told the owner, I will take 50 cents less an hour and you don't have to cover medical (because I had it from my hubby) and we can call me part time. My hours are my kids school hours. So, my boys don't go to daycare. And I was able to put them in private school right by my work with the money I made. Everyone wins! My hubby works 12 hr shifts, 7 days a week, on nights. I am still able to do everything I did before, so he is taken care of, and I get to get out and be with friends all day!
To answer your question... It is damn hard to be a stay at home mom (I did it for 9 yrs). But realize that you are blessed by what your husband provides. It may take time but there is a solution to make everyone happy. You will figure it out. As for the job, I would definately quit. A marriage is a union and if one is unhappy than it will be hell. You are still who you are, but who you are now is a married mother. That comes first! You have years and years when the kids get a lil older to discover who you are and get out and have you time.
For us, work is fun and we want it as a release. Your hubby (if he is any form of man) views work just like you view staying at home. It isn't fun for him. You are both sacrificing to make your marriage work. This time it is your turn. Good Luck. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

My first question is this job hindering your responsibilitis as a wife and mom. Is he gripping because he is having to take care of your child and cook? Working is excellent for women to get out and have self-worth (gets us out of the label department as Mom/wife). Explain to him you understand his point of view/validate his feelings. Then explain to him you will look for another job that will be better for the family hours but you will not stop working. Explain to your boss in writting that if he continues to schedule you on days you did not agree to then you will have to find another job. I am sorry to say but as a wife and Mother your first responsiblity is your family. Did you and your husband talk and have agreements before you started to work? If so do not go against them.

Answer 7

ok, his acting this way has nothing to do with your schedule. he's trying to control you. he doesn't like that you are working now and he thinks what he wants should go. tell him that you are keeping the job and he's just going to have to get used to it. you carried his child for 10 months and stayed home for the first year. if he can't understand that you want some "you" time for 9 hours a week then tell him that he can just take care of the child from now on.

Answer 8

Your husband or your father told you to quit your job? Honey, he is trying to control you and he seems to be doing a good job if you are actually considering quitting. Sweetie, I know it's going to upset him for awhile, but don't let him argue about it. This is your life too, not just his and to me, it sounds as though he had quite the sweet deal going with you being home to take care of everything for him. Now his pefect little life is upset, he has to step up to the plate to help out with the baby and he doesn't like it. Either take a stand now, or allow this to go on for the rest of your lives. Try the positive approach first. Tell him that you need an outlet, the extra money will help you guys out and it gives him time to bond iwth the baby. And if he throws a temper tantrum over that, then tell him to grow up, stop acting like a child, life is NOT all about him, and it's about time he starts pulling his fair share of parental responsibilities around here. Very rarely do people find jobs they truly enjoy and work as little as you do at it. If this works for you and doesn't interfere with the family schedule, then don't quit hon...you deserve to be happy just as much as the hubby does. He'll either learn to adjust or he'll learn to live with it and quit his whining when he realizes it's falling on deaf ears. Life is short and if you keep giving in, you'll always be the one who has to give in. I use to be a people pleaser too hon, it's a hard job, the guilt is overwhelming sometimes...but sometimes it's okay to do something for yourself. You aren't asking for much, I think you deserve it...you know you deserve it and you shouldn't quit.

Answer 9

Most women included me would love not to have to work at all.If you do not need to work stay at home. Your family is more important than any job. Maybe join a Church or go to activities with your daughter to get out of the house and meet other Moms that is what I did when I was a SAHM.

Answer 10

Don't quit your job your husband is the father of your child and should be able to take care of the child for three hours a night he is not a babysitter he is a parent and yes he is trying to control you. If he says you dont need the money then tell him you want to volunteer if he does not let you do that you need to go talk to someone together God Bless you and be nice to yourself I was an abused spouse