Divorce family?

Question

What would you tell some one that was married for 18 1/2 years an the last 4 or 5 years was real bad an now are divorce have been for about 4 years. even has a boy friend but can't seem to move on it is like am an a world that am not supose to be in. been living with my boy friend for about 2 1/2 years now but I can't seem to get over my ex. even through there is no way we could ever get back togather there has been to much bad thing's that happen when we were going through the divorce. my boy friend would like for us to get married but I don't even want to think about marrying him. by the way am the one that wanted the divorce. it was so bad I was getting sick. But I will always love him. Now how do I get on with my life an make it feel right?

I guess I need to say more about this. The guy that I am with now was my first love. I mean deep love there was no one like him. but we broke up. I had to learn to move on an I did. I dated other guys never would have dream of meeting any one again that I could feel that way again. But I did we dated for almost 2 1/2 years I loved ever thing about my ex. But when we got married thing's change I become just some one to get out there work my butt off come home an still do it all with out a brake with him I went ever where by my self unless it was to his family he would not go to mine unless some one gaveing him some thing. I know what kind of man this sound like he even got his on company he could could have made it work real good for him. He had people that like his work but he just sat home got to the pont he would not get up an go to work I try to get him to go get some help but I was the one that did not know what I was talking about [he would say] an I do lov my boy friend now. n ex

Answer 1

I read in an article one time it takes atleast 2 yrs after a divorce to fully recover from the trauma from it. My first question how long were you divorced before you and the new bo got together? Personaly as hard as it would be but I would let them both go and concentrate on you and healing. You stated you are not over the ex and it would not be fair to the new boy friend to enter in that relationship with those feelings. You need to take some time for you and find who you realy are and what you are wanting. Then with that in mind find the man of your dreams. Good luck hun!

Answer 2

Okay Nikki, the biggest hindrance to a happy marriage is memories. Catch this, you can never get rid of your ex. No matter what you say there wre good times,
You probably did something thwat was nt right and he didi the same to you and both of you refused to agree..that is called pride. And you ahe now carried to anlother relationship before dealing with it.
You have left Egypt for canaan, but you still have Egyot in your mind. This way you can never reach Canaan.I don't know what happened btn you and your ex, but do not say never. You cannever get rid of the first love. No mater how cute the second dude is, the first guy regardless of what he did to you, there is still something that you find intriguing in him.
You cannot have two men and live a normal life, you will crack up. On the other hand you can not be living with ine man and sleeping with the other in your mind. If you ex abused you, then that is the only time I would say it is oVER. If not you probably want to seek some kind of reconciliation..talk it out among youirself don't invite listeners they were not there when you first kissed....but talk it out, bring your pride levels down, and reason like two mature people, when it reaches a wal. dont fight it, take five oir tem or whatever it takes and give it another shot. If you love him you will do this, if not...it's history. the shots are yours, take the best.

Good luck

Answer 3

I think that it is normal to feel that way about your ex~He was your life for 18 1/2 yrs and that is a very long time. Naturally, you will have a fear of moving on, but you have to realize that he is in your past and you have to think about your future NOW!

Answer 4

Why don't you do your boyfriend a favour and dump him? You have clearly made up your mind to spend the rest of your life in the past, so why not at least let him get a life and a future? You are being selfish.

Answer 5

Therapy

Answer 6

You are totally wrong, you have not loved him at all. this your mind who is making you in trouble. The real meaning of love is to give freedom to the patner instead of catching him. first you have to understand the meaning of of -Real Love.- right...love gives not takes anything in return...do somehting great ...otherwise you will die in vain.......so sorry for you. Please try to love the God..not the poor fallow...he can not satisfy you in this life...you have to change yourself...otherwise....!!!!!!!

Answer 7

UNDERSTAND YOURSELF!!!!!