i have been unfaithful to my bf at the begining of our relationship, which was about a year ago. he still wants to be with me but im finding it hard to not get mad when he grills me about things because the way he does it. any suggestions? or maybe ways to let him know i love him and that he can trust me?
2006-11-17 15:53:57 · 5 answers · asked by barrelracer64 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This will aways come up, he needs a lot of time to forget about this...Just do what you normal do, dont try and over do it, he'll think that your up to something...
2006-11-17 16:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay we ahve two things bothering you, first the fact that you were unfaithful to him. I would suggest that you find a way of getting this guilt out of your life. ONe way you can do this is by talkingbit out with someone one on one, somebody who wil not judge you but somebody who will help you get it over with. I suggest you pastor or Chaplain. You may also consioder calling the person and telling him that what hapened was a mistake and it will not happen again. When you verbalize, it has an effect on your body and you no longer have that crazy desire for him/her.
The other thing you might wish tio do is to face the bul by the horn, have a conversation and talk about your past, honey, you are so attractive I am sure you couldn't keep women way from you but I am so glad I got you...did hey relay bother you?...and on and in the process he too may ask you hey what about you baby..this opens up a converstaion that isou just dnt want to hurt him. otherwise hard to bring up. Watch what you say, dont break your marriage. There is a tng called forgiveness and if you can learn how to do it, you wil be the happiest person.
The other thing is that you are allowing yourslef to be brought donw by your past, that is why you canot recat even when he is pushing. you need to rise up, your past is past and it should not ruin your future. Stand up for what you should stand up for, speak out, otherwse you wmiht end uop being miserable for the rest of your life.
Good luck!
2006-11-18 00:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you walk forward if you are looking behind you? Ask him if he really forgives you, if not talk about it. We have all heard the saying forgive and forget but we never really forget but we can choose to not think about it and dwell on it. As for the present a person who has nothing to hide hides nothing. Explain to him you are not perfect and never indicated you were. It was a mistake a huge stupid mistake and if you could change you would, but you can't. For sure of one thing has to happen you have to forgive yourself and with his actions you can not. Validate his feelings of knowing he is insecure of things but you want this relationship and only him but if he can not forgive you sweetie then you are staying in a relationship where you are getting beaten up daily. I always say write a note about your feelings, you can always re-read it and change what you want said because once you verbalize it you can't take it back.
2006-11-18 00:37:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if you two are going to get past this, he's going to have to let it go. Tell him you feel uncomfortable talking about it all the time and if he can't let it go and move on, you should reconsider the relationship.
2006-11-17 23:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey barrelracer there is one thing you forgot to say is you still contue to lie, talk to guys, and cheet. maybe thats why he keeps acting the way he does. im sure all you had to do is stop lieing and he would of gave you the world.
2006-11-19 09:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by chris c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋