My husband spends hours a day looking at porn and talking dirty on chat sites. He even tries to get people to meet him. I got a keylogger and was able to catch him, (of course he swears he will not do it anymore) But I know he is still doing it. He always turns off the computer the moment anybody walks in the room.
2006-11-17 15:52:02 · 22 answers · asked by melodiezzz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is looking for something that either you can't provide or he doesn;t expect you to provide.
Porn is corroshive to a relationship
2006-11-17 15:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
2
2016-07-17 06:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first issue would be with the porn, I would put a stop to that immediatly. It is one thing to do it with your partner but to do it alone is another. As for the chatting part, I have a chat room and i can guarntee you he is there for a reason. Most people come to chat to find someone to talk with about the problems or because their home life is unsatisfying and they want something outside of the marriage. They come there looking all of them for some reason or another. He has way to much time on his hands. I would first get rid of the PC destroy that thing, unfortuantly that means no PC for you also. Then I would seek couseling to figure out what is going on in the marriage that is wrong that you do not know about. If it is your sex life that is lacking then find out how you can help it and find out how he can help it also. This is a two way street make him work in this relationship also. If it is left up to you then pull over and let him out if you can not fix the problem.
2006-11-17 16:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a man and he craves sex, it's really that simple. The bottom line is that he's bored. The only (easy) way is to fufill his desires. You should compete with it and try to spice up his sex life. Surprise him when he's on lunch, or when you're going out somewhere, or do something extra-ordinary. But something that can be done on a regular basis, because thats how often men need sex. We want it pretty much everyday (some guys are diff), but you can do little stuff everyday just to entice him for that one *special night every week or month. like rent a motel one night. If you can do that, he won't want or need porn. I think if you were to do all that and he were to still desire porn, he might need a hobby, or possibly a therapist?
Talking to him about it isn't going to get you far. It's a misconception nowadays - people think confronting people about their problems will help solve it, but that is rarely the case. It only works in certain, mature situations. Private matters are very tough to confront people about, especially if its an addiction.
2006-11-17 16:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by Empty Skies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some thing you may desire to be attentive to approximately addicts, hon, and he for optimistic is one: they are actually not available for relationships.... they're already in on, it only isn't with you, and it never would be with you or the different lady or something or all people else for long. Now, provided that, do you desire to stay? Any AA administrator will inform you that their 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days treatment value isn't even 20%. (call them.) it is not to any extent further useful for the different addict or dependancy.... playing, computing device porn, meth, any drug, etc.. he's incapable of being a husband to you and a father on your new child,---no addict is able to interplay of any type. they are able to do a job, yet they are able to't relate to human beings....... so there is no longer plenty psychological worry on the two of you... he's 'long gone' diverse the time besides. it fairly is a character ailment, sweetie, and fairly no longer correctable. honestly you sniffed out a number of this earlier you married this guy, huh? the place become your radar, sweetie??? And why did you opt for this guy to sire your new child??? recommend. stay there long adequate to come again into college, and get practise for a real interest. Bust butt getting precise grades. You blew style one on my mama's record of four products for "a happy lifestyles", so come again on objective for style 2.... and don't have to any extent further toddlers with this one. that new child will value you $250,000 to age 18, and you will no longer get plenty help from him. here is the 4 from my mama a million. the main mandatory determination you will ever make is who you marry. opt for alongside with your head besides as your coronary heart. 2. have not got any toddlers till your bond is robust, and don't have to any extent further than you your self can help. you may could desire to. 3. At any and all expenditures end your training to qualify for those extreme paying jobs. it fairly is in all hazard which you will paintings sometime throughout the time of your marriage, in all hazard for some years…. gets a commission for it. And bear in mind, your toddlers and your training are consistently…. Husbands, fans and provides are actually not!! 4. Have a stash of money no one knows approximately whether you're optimistic you will never want it. You honestly will, and the greater the greater useful. sent to you with love from my mom
2016-12-30 14:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by criddle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not your problem. It is your husband's problem. Some people have suggested you trying to spruce up your sex life. I guarantee you that this won't work (from personal experience!)
The only thing that you can do is tell him how much it hurts you that he looks at other women in a sexual way. Call him on it. Ask him if he wants to be married to you. And tell him it's you or the computer girls!
And then love him in his efforts to try to stop.
If he's got any kind of brains, he'll realize that the virtual girls are just that - virtual.
2006-11-17 16:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by BLONDIE6597543879 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Viewing porn is not a very big problem (as long as it's free), but the chatting is.
I am sorry that you have to go through this, it's a hard thing to stop.
It's especially distressing that he has tried having people meet him..
It seems you have a tough decision to make.
Wishing you an easy way out (despite reality).
2006-11-17 15:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by seaofcolour 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is wrong to "look at other women (nude)" outside the marriage if both husband and wife disagree. In that light there is no choice. Marriage is not 50 50 it is 100 100. I like women. My wife knows I do. I can chat in chat rooms but I have rules to follow: no cams, no voice chat. I follow them. We use to go on a drive to the beach and both of us looked. (male and female) in a comparison way. No agreement, no activity...anything else is wrong.
2006-11-17 15:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by orion_1812@yahoo.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's decision time for you. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone that is obviously lieing to you? If your answer is yes then professional counseling for both of you is the only answer. Think about this, if he is lying about the computer what else is he doing that you know nothing about? Are there any recently dug up areas in your backyard? Graves maybe?
2006-11-17 15:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by questioningly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watching porn is fine, watch it with him. BUT talking dirty on chat sites and wanting to meet them, and that you caught him. In court... that is considered the same as cheating sweetheart. And to me, that is the first step. If he hasn't already. I could only imagine how he acts outside the home away from you. No way would I trust his ***....
2006-11-17 16:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by hothink5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The chatting is a BIG NO NO!!! You need to put your foot down but the porn isn't a big deal. Actually maybe you should watch it with him. It will keep him in line.
2006-11-17 17:17:59 · answer #11 · answered by chastonn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋