Are there 'degrees' of 'gayness'? Do you see effeminacy in gay men as a parody, a turn-off, a weakness....

Question

If there are no degrees of gayness, how do you explain people who are bi-sexual?

Answer 1

As others have stated there are two vectors involved here: sexuality and gender expression, both of which vary based on the individual. With regard to sexuality the noted sex researcher Dr. Kinsey established his famous "scale" from 1 to 6 to express how homo or heterosexual a person is, where "1" donotes an exclusively heterosexual person and "6" is a person who engages only in homosexual couplings. Kinsey--and many researchers after him--noted that many people fall somewhere between "1" and "6", so clearly there are "degrees" of "gayness" on that point.

True also is the wide variance of gender expression, whether one acts more feminine or masculine with regard to social "norms" for that person's gender. Surely we've all seen lesbians who are assume a "butch" (masculine) expression while others are decidedly "lipstick" (feminine). Gay men also fall along a long and varying spectrum. But, true also, is the fact that many heterosexual people adopt non-traditional gender expression too.

I personally do not consider a person "weak" if they adopt a non-standard gender expression. To me it is simply a part of their personality and should be taken along with the myriad of traits that make them a unique individual. However, for myself, I can say that I am only attracted sexually to someone with a more standard gender expression.

Answer 2

There are two unrelated parts to your question, gayness and effeminacy.
There are degrees of gayness, being gay, being bisexual, and being straight. There are varying degrees between being 100% gay and 100% straight. Although there are 50/50 bisexuals, some have a particular preference.
There are also degrees of perceived masculinity/femininity. Effeminacy in gay men is a stereotype, an effeminate man can be straight and a masculine man can be gay. Some gay men are attracted to effeminate men and some are attracted to masculine men, just as some women are attracted to effeminate men or masculine men. The only turn-off or perceived weakness varies with each individual and what traits they find attractive or unattractive.

Answer 3

I don't think there are "degrees of gayness", because if you're gay you're gay, but there certainly are degrees of effeminacy.

I think it's only a weakness if you allow it to be. As far as it being a turn off- sexually, yes. I'm attracted to men who are masculine. I do have friends though who are effeminate, and it's not a turn off as far as that goes. I'm not embarrassed to be out with them. They can camp it up as much as they want, I don't care what anyone thinks.

Answer 4

Being gay is about who you are attracted to, not your gender expression. There are some gay men who seem exaggeratedly feminine and this is partly just personality and also part of the gay culture, but it doesn't make them "more gay" than gay men who act masculine. It's about who you want and who you love.

Within the gay community there is even prejudice against men who act effeminate. Many gay men are drawn to other masculine men and for them effeminacy is a turn-off.

Answer 5

This is so funny to me because so many people get this confused. These two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other. This misconception comes from the fact that society is brainwashed into thinking that a female must be with a male and a male must be with a female. Femininity and masculinity are just words that we've created to differentiate between personality types it has nothing to do with who you are attracted to. If you're gay you are attracted to the same sex if your straight you're not, there are no levels.

Answer 6

No there are no degrees of gayness. One is gay or not. And effiminacy is like any other trait. It wears better on some than on others. It's a matter of taste. It is no more a sign of weakness than a uterus.

Answer 7

SOME people are just "that way" and arent even homosexual in the slightest. Im serious and I KNOW how hard that is to believe. Ive met people who are married and by the way, ego aside, Im HOT, and the guy I SWORE is gay wouldnt even try anything with me, no flirting nothing, but he was SOOOOOOOO obviously gay. But he wasnt gay at all in reality. He just fit my preprogrammed notions of what gay people are like, because THATS how society has programmed us all to believe gay people ARE like. I myself, am never mistaken for being gay, and I am completely homosexual.....
BUT in answer to you actual question....I PERSONALLY do not like effeminacy as you put it, in males. I personally see it as weakness in a world where men, ENJOY attacking other men that they perceive as weak. I dont enjoy being AROUND people that seem gay as it draws too much negative attention to 'us both' and I personally, dont need that. Yet, its not the fault of the person who seems effiminate. Its the fault of SOCIETY believing and FURTHING The IDEA that men like this are weak and out to be attacked. Its wrong. Its very very wrong. Yet, living in this screwed up world, and knowing how people are- I cant help but feed into the idea and personally refuse to have people who act this way as my friends. I KNOW, WITHOUT DOUBT that Im missing out on some opportunities to know some seriously decent people. No lie. But I dont find the risk of having someone attack us both or ME Having to defend this person at risk of my own wellfare because of how society has taught others to react to it. I know its wrong, but I have myself to think about.

Answer 8

not lots in my journey, I have had many gay moments with maximum persons of my very without delay associates and wev e repeated it too with some them. It s very very obvious in case you watch any Lads vacation on YouTube or similar channel you'll see the most without delay of without delay lads having 2 or 3 gay moments , It only looks regularly occurring to me and it don t hassle me in any respect. I grew up in.... a million.a children living house 2.a Boarding college for Boys and three.a Detention Centre. so Lads getting on with different Lads looks regularly occurring to me, i could sleep with a bloke as honestly as i could sleep with a fowl and if every person has problems with that variety of sexuality they want help I reckon, and if every person had that anti regularly occurring opinion round me and my associates it would nicely be ideal to really do one Cheers x x Luke D Gilston ....

Answer 9

I think just like some women are girly-girls and guys who smash beer cans on their heads the same premise must also be in the gay community.

Answer 10

This is going to maybe sound a little strange. I don't like girly girls but I like girly guys. I'm a straight female who quite frankly gets a bit jealous of gay men sometimes. I've met alot of gay men and not one of them was ever mean to me like straight people of either sex.