Is this verbal abuse?

Question

My ex used to say mean things to me. I called them verbal abuse - yet he said that I was too sensitive.

Would this be considered verbal abuse?

dummy of the dummiest degree
wuss
all 4 letter words
I am ashamed of you - you will drown socially at a wedding
his family thought that I was a zero.
He has to swallow to be with me.
I have evil eyes and a face that no one would reward.
most selfish person that he knows
cause destruction all around me

He also raised his hand at me and did hit me many, many times. Yet, I think he thinks that I deserved it.

He blames me now for the destruction that has been caused in his life. He says that I have caused him to lose so much money, not have a good family life, lose jobs, etc. I don't know how to take these accusations. His health is bad now and that is also my fault.

Answer 1

Not only is it verbal, but mental and emotional and physical if he's hit you, hun!

Whether you're with him or not, you need to seek out some therapy. Not because of you, but because of the damage HE has done to you. You are not a bad person and you did not cause destruction or his bad health. A therapist will help you see the differences...and as soon as you do, you will be able to move on to a healthier and happier life.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Yes, an excellent example of verbal abuse! Classical.
I pray that after you are completely through with this verbal wizard that you will not end up with another one like him. If this is just a mistake by you in choosing a verbally/physically abusive mate then you are rare. A person like him had to have shown qualities/signs, that tipped you off about his possible verbal and physical abuse nature. Most likely, you knew what you were getting into. This guy sounds like he wants everyone else to take the blame for his mistakes in the choices he makes for himself.
By viewing everything from the perspective of what is wrong with it he can never find happiness, no one can.

Answer 3

When you are in a healthy relationship, you argue about situations but you do NOT attack the other person. Abusers begin by attacking you verbally, and progress to physical violence. The sneakiest part, they really try to make you think it's your fault. They do this because if you believe you cause the violence and verbal crap, you might start to believe you can make it stop - "If I just say the right thing, do the right thing, our lives will be perfect..." It's all mindgame crap. He will verbally and physically abuse ANY woman he is with. The problem lies within HIM. Most abusers take NO responsibility for anything. It's always someone else's fault.
You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. He is responsible for dealing with his health issues. If you are still with him, please keep yourself as safe as possible. Know that when you are ready there are people in your city who can help you get out safely. If you stay, keep copies of your important papers somewhere else (driver's license, marriage license, etc.) keep a stash of cash if possible, copies of car keys, house keys. If you start to fight don't go into the kitchen (knives) or the bathroom (no way out.) Call 1-800-SAFE (7233) if you want to talk to someone. It is not your fault! Please be safe.

Answer 4

That is very abusive, he sounds like my ex husband. Get out now while you can. He is going to cause you to very have low self esteem about your self IF you don't already have it. The sad thing is once you get that, it is hard as heck to get back your good self esteem. I know as I said I have been down that road my self and it is not a pretty picture at all. It is so damaging to you that it could scare you for life if you are not careful.

And he is even hitting you on top of that too, get out of there before he kills you. And if I was a betting person, I would bet that he has even been raping you as well. Yes a husband can rape his wife!! If he has sex with her and she does not want it, even if she does not fight him off, just has sex with her and she don't want to have sex, it is called rape. Please get out while you still can.

Answer 5

Yes, that was all abuse. No, you didn't make him sick. Refuse to take any blame for any of his own shortcomings.
I think we got the same ex. Is there a class that jerks like these take, like @sshole 101? I hear the same complaints from so many abuse victims!
Have a good life and don't look back!

Answer 6

Sure, and next time it rains, that's your fault too.
Come on, you have lived with him long enough, you should have caught on to the facts by now. He is not only an abusive pig, he is also unwilling to take any responsibility for the consequences of his own actions. I can believe that he had you brainwashed there for a while, but I can't understand why you're still buying into his bullcrap.

Answer 7

Yes this is verbal abuse of the worst kind. It seems that he is telling you that you are not fit to be with him. Let kings be with kings and commoners be with commoners if that's what he wants. Leave him alone and don't contact him unless absolutely necessary.

There are so many sweet and loving men around who you can be with and who will care for you. Loll !

Answer 8

Your question actually gave me goosebumps. It's not only verbal abuse but physical abuse . Get out now. You do not deserve to be treated like this. No matter what you think

Answer 9

It is definitively an abusive relation, not only verbally but also physically. It always surprises me why women tolerate such abuse. No one deserves to be beaten under any circumstances.

Answer 10

This is certainly abuse and i really feel sorry for you because nobody should have to stay and put up with that and you shouldn't put up with it. If his health is bad now you need to tell him he should be praying for god to heal his body and not spending so much energy on abusing you when it seems like your obviously there for him.