She had to go to the ER on Wednesday.They found a bowel obstruction and sent her to surgery.They removed over 12" of intestine and found a tumor.The Dr tells me that he does'nt think it's milignant,but they will send it to a lab.Her parents are in LA and are not coming to Texas to see her.She does'nt have any family members here and it makes me so angry that they are not willing to hop on a plane to see her.She pretends like she does'nt mind,but I can tell she is disappointed.She is going through so much pain right now and they think that she'll be fine.Should I be pissed off?
2006-11-17 14:50:26 · 44 answers · asked by charles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had the same thing happen when I had a compound fractured ankle. Except for my parents and sister live in the same state. I just went through a divorce six months earlier and they told me I was making a big mistake. Then my accident happened. No one showed. I had to rely on a guy I was kinda seeing at the time to give me a ride home from the hospital. That was our third date. Now, five years later I don't speak to my parents or sister because of that reason and me and "the guy" are married. Good luck and you being there means alot to her. Good luck.
2006-11-17 16:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by M P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be mad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and any other verb you can find.
However, if you focused on this negative energy, and spent your time trying to convince her to be mad, how is this going to help her heal?
You need to be the ray of hope in her life, the one that supports her and provides her with all the love and care her family is not providing. YOU are her family.
Later when she recovers, let the griping session begin, every man for himself.
However, you may want to consider that heir financial situation may not allow them to come visit... and remember that I am saying this without knowing so do not put too much stock in this part if they are millionaires. If they are not, then maybe they are embarrased to tell you they do not have the means to come.
Of course they could always drive, and then that means they have to take off work if they are not retired, which again becomes a financial issue.
2006-11-17 15:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being pissed off is going to help your wife, I'd say yes. Otherwise, concentrate on her right now, don't waste your energy things you can not control. If I was your wife I would be very hurt.
But I also know having the support of my husband would mean far more to me than the support from my parents and not my husband.
Prayers will be with you on the outcome of the results of the lab.
2006-11-17 14:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by puzzlelove 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear your wife is having such a difficult time. Is it possible the in laws can not afford to fly in to see their daughter. The cost of living in LA is very high. Try not to be angry, I am sure there is some reason, as a parent, I think they are very concerned. I will say a prayer for both of you. Your wife needs you to be strong not angry.
2006-11-17 15:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by JAN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't be pissed.Right now be concerned for your wife.As far as the family goes they may not be able to afford the trip.They may also be thinking that waiting for the test results will be the best time to decide if they should make that trip encase there is bad news or a major medical problem.
2006-11-17 14:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Completely! I would be angry too. At least she has you. Try not to vent your anger to much to her while she is in the hospital though. Try to cheer her up by telling her, oh so and so called to see how you are doing. Sometimes though, people just don't have that much money saved to fly on a moments notice. They probably really want to believe nothing is wrong with her also and it would be hard to accept the fact that something might happen.
2006-11-17 14:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. All your wife needs is you. You are the most important person in her life. If she were my child, I'd be with her in a heartbeat to care for her while she recovers. But some people don't do well at nursing the sick. Maybe her family isn't good at it. It doesn't mean they don't love her. Don't take time to be angry. You need that energy to help your wife. God Bless you both.
2006-11-17 15:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry sounds stressful and maybe your looking for someone to be angry at very common in times of stress to look for ANY OUTLET for your angry her family is just a easy mark. Yes it would be annoying when i had my daughter my mom lived in Florida she did not come to see me and her grand daughter NAMED AFTER HER i actually understood she could not up and leave her home and job and life on a moments notice she had little money to just grab a plane however my ex husband was VERY MAD about the situation i think it was from him being over whelmed. i understood the situation
2006-11-17 14:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have the right to be angry. You don't need to let her see this because it will cause stress on her and make her condition worse. You just do your part to be there for her, remember you two are ONE she needs you there more than anyone right now. If you are on this computer asking this question then you are not doing your part unless you have a laptop in the hospital which you shouldn't.
2006-11-17 14:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For her sake, just be there for her. While it may seem nice to be upset with her family, you need to concentrate on your wife right now. Be there for her--run out and grab some magazines. Help her not stress about this.
Also, try calling her family. Don't raise your tone, but explain the importance of having her family there by her side. Offer to pay for half of the ticket, if you can.
2006-11-17 14:53:20 · answer #10 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋