Let me rephrase this?

Question

My wife was unfaithful to me, and I have been waiting around for months and months. She was confused on if she was going to be with me or the other guy. I was asked to go out on a date by another girl, so I said ok. I really had nothing to lose. Things with that girl are going ok. I expected to get a divorce from my wife. That is why I decided to go back into the dating market. Now she wants to get back with me. I know this is wrong to most of you...."because I am unfaithful too". I am just human,and need to know that I am going to be happy. You are telling me this is wrong? Of course I am going to get a divorce.

Answer 1

Like I said in your previous q's, it is pretty stupid. If you were going to get a divorce anyway then why didn't you get a divorce first before going back into the dating scene? The reason I said to divorce first is to avoid the very complication you are in now, which, as you stated, your wife wants to get back with you.

Also, keep in mind that you are not being fair to the person you're seeing. You are dragging her into your drama. If you want to date other people you should start with a clean slate. Divorce first.

Answer 2

For whatever reason you decided to give dating a try when you were not divorced, not separated, etc. Sure, people are going to call you a cheater, spout off about revenge, sinking to her level and all that. The risk with this is that while your wife toyed with your emotions, weren't you doing the same with the new girl, especially if you and your wife decided to give it another try?

I've seen this happen before, and the transition person is just that. So just be careful not to think that there will be a new, lasting relationship with this other person because it's just not likely. Your marriage is breaking up, and that is a big deal and causes people to not think quite straight. It takes time to absorb, adjust, and recover. When the dust settles, will the person you dated (or are dating) be what you really want? That's one reason why I think it would be better to hold off until you've had a more permanent solidified decision with your wife about this and you know that it's over for good.

Answer 3

What are you doing sitting around waiting anyway?? It's one thing to make a mistake and realize it show remorse swear never to do it again and start being the wife she should be.. It's another to stay undecided and burn the candle from both ends.. I don't feel you're doing anything wrong by seeing this new girl.. Your marriage has been blown out of the water due to your wife's infidelity, you have moved on and now all you need is to complete your divorce and go away a better man...

Answer 4

What you did was totally wrong. You still went out with another female while you were are still married. Any way you want to look at that, it is still cheating. I know that your wife cheated on you first, but that don't make it right for you to cheat on her too.

I also know that you say that you are going to get a divorce, but the fact remains the same, you are NOT divorced yet. Now lets say that you did not go out with another woman while you was married to your wife and into divorce court you go with her to get the divorce granted. Ok now if the judge was to ask you if you have ever cheated on your wife, you could honestly say no you have not ever cheated on her, that you have remained faithful to her all the time even though she did cheat on you. The judge would take that into consideration of the out come of the divorce. But now since you have cheated on her too, the judge is going to see it that you both cheated on each other and will frown on that.

I have been down that road myself. And the judge did ask both of us if we cheated on each other, we both said no, but his girlfriend was right there in the court room with us. I myself never cheated on him as I do not believe in cheating. There is more to the story of my divorce and the court room but not for here.

So go get your divorce and then you can take your girlfriend out on a date. And good luck.

Answer 5

I don't really think you have done anything wrong. Yes, technically I suppose you were cheating because you are still married, but you are human. I think just about anyone who was being cheated on and thought that their marriage was over would date someone else if the opportunity presented itself with someone they were interested in.

You are the only one who knows if you can forgive your wife and get back together with her. Most people would have a hard time doing that, but maybe you can.

Answer 6

Does your wife want to get back with you just because you are with someone else? I'd say, if there is no chance of you and your wife staying together or working it out, get your divorce done and start with a clean slate.

Answer 7

if she was unfaithful to u first, and she left u first, and if she made no effort to come back and reconcile, than it's ok to date and meet others. i would not go back with her, because u are always going to remember that the other guy was her first pick, and now maybe she wants to come back because all may not be well in paradise, and she realiazes she made a mistake. bottom line is that why go back into the hurt and pain, and invest more time and effort, and know that she might betray u again.

Answer 8

Yes, you were wrong. The fact that your wife was or is playing around is immaterial. Until one of you files for divorce, you should not date. You ARE married. Yup, it is a lousy marriage, but you are cheating. File for divorce ASAP. Then, date anybody you want.

Answer 9

If you thought you were going to get a divorce and she already was doing her own thing...I don't feel you were in the wrong to go out with this other girl.

Answer 10

yes you are wrong!For not getting a divorce only!!! She doesn't love u......People now don't realize what love really is?It's worry about the other person feeling and needs!!!Most of all about being sure of what you want!!!is this you?????