I have been married to this man for 5 years now, he quit his job 11 months ago to write a book, I agreed to 6 months now we are going on 11 months, I work from home, supporting the whole family and take care of a 2 year old at the same time along with a school age child.
He does not do anything around the house, will not even take out the trash, stays up all night and sleeps ahalf of the day.
He is very nasty to me and treats me with no respect.
Today I found out that my company is closing and will be out of a job soon, I asked him to get a job so I can stay home with the younger child and he said he has no intentions of ever getting a job and reuses to feed me or my daughter from first marriage
and I can take care of him, he said he will stay home and care for the younger child but he will not even change a diaper.
I feel like he is a freeloader and I am a golden goose-I just want out, do you what I am being to tradional when I think a man should work?
2006-11-17 13:51:53 · 23 answers · asked by Just unhappy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This has nothing to do with tradition. It has everything to do with a partner being responsible enough to help take care of his family. Your husband wants the marriage without the responsibilities and this makes him a freeloader. It's best that you get out. You don't need his extra weight dragging you down when he's more than capable of helping out and getting a job himself.
2006-11-17 14:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he will never be there for u, and has no compassion for u at all, time to move on, get some child support, and file for divorce. he is wasting your time and energy, as long as your tied to this albatross you won't be able to start a new life. u need a helpmate in life, not someone who uses u like this, and who doesn't care enough to even clean up the home he lives in. you would be farter ahead divorced from him, he will have to pay child support. sometimes we just have to move on hard as it is when we first make our decision. a man should work, and care about his family, if not go find someone who will care about u, theres alot of fish in the sea.
2006-11-17 14:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you ought to be working like partners... forget tradional roles, teamwork is what a marriage is about. He needs to work with you to solve the family's problems. He needs to step up to the plate.
Hey, is he a good writer, or was that just his way of not having a job?
2006-11-17 14:07:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, please give me this! If you can, do not fix his dinner and don't wash his clothes. All he is doing is making you feel that he is worthy about the time he is taking to write his book. If he won't change the baby's diaper then you do it because it is your one and only true being that you love. He may say these things because he is untrue to you and the marriage. If he really wants to make this work then he will get off the pot and DO something. If you truly love this man and want him to be the father of your child than you will understand what he is doing or you will make it benefit the lifestyle that you wanted!!!!
2006-11-17 14:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question already told all answers. You probably are afraid to be alone again, but to be with a such man will kill you and your female spirit. Very often being single gives you much more balance in your life and life of your children. Now you are unhappy, unbalanced and even more lonely. Such relationship can bring diseases for you and depression. Your life and your health are much more important than a such sick marriage.
2006-11-18 13:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOW I KNOW THIS HARD BUT let him come home to an empty house take all your close and stuff and take your kids wit you and stay gone 4 a week and then come back and ask if he miss you then he will get a job
2006-11-17 14:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by cuttygurl2009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband he'd better shape up or ship out. There is no reason for you to endure this kind of behavior from anyone. It may be difficult, but it looks like you'd be much better off without him. Give him a chance to redeem himself, but if nothing happens very quickly the two of you need to part company ASAP because you deserve better than this.
2006-11-17 13:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does seem like you are being used. He gets what he wants from you and gives nothing.
I think you should talk with him about your feelings. If he is not receptive to the discussion, maybe you could talk to your priest or a counselor. It helps to have an objective third party to discuss your feelings with.
You both could then see each person's side of the story.
2006-11-17 14:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gut feeling is right - he is a freeloading depressed loser and the longer he is codependent on you he will continue to bleed you dry, emotionally and financially.
You are well within your rights to throw him out of the house immediately. If he won't leave, plan your escape. You must ditch him soon or else you are going to exhaust yourself - completely.
2006-11-17 14:04:23 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being used! He did not have to quit his job to write a book. Chances of it even being published are slim to none! My lil sister wrote one and it was published and she worked a full time manager job as she did all this. He has an excuse an he is riding it!
2006-11-17 13:57:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋