My husband and I had a child 2 years ago. We use to be SO sexually active...SOooOo sexually active. Now he seems to onyl think about worK and stress about things to where he is not even interested in sex anymore. I really getting aggravated and I dont know what to do, help me!!!
2006-11-17 13:48:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is sooooo worried about making it right for you and the baby that he has forgotten about what you used to be. make him feel like he is the one who brings it all to the plate. If he feels this he will forget that he has all this pressure and bring it back to what originally was to begin with. Try to make him feel that he is the man and that every thing he does is in the best interest of the family. I promise everything will be all right in the end.
2006-11-17 14:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is thinking about what it will take to raise this child and keep the two of you afloat at the same time. Perhaps he has lost all interest in sex. Perhaps the two of you need to do some serious thinking and talking. It's all perfectly natural...a lot of hormones (on both parts) have been a part of this. But you can not get to the bottom of the issue without communication. If it doesn't work after that, at least you tried. Good luck!
2006-11-17 14:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What until he gets home, have dinner waiting for him, put the child to bed, then when that's all done, go to him and give him a massage to make him feel relaxed. Normally around this time he is feeling so horney that nature will take over. BUT make sure that when he gets home that you are calm, you are not dowdy looking (ie do your hair) and that he has a nice dinner waiting for him or one in the oven cooking.
I know it is hard with a 2 year old but if women all over the world can do it so can you.
Or you can be in my shoes where my darling boyfriend/ finace lives in another country and you have to go without all together. I haven't had real sex in over 8 months and it looks like it will be longer as we are both saving like crazy to be with each other and the bank accounts never seem to have any money in them
2006-11-18 01:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by Aunty Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you are finding out what marriage is really like. The honeymoon is over. Be supportive, don't expect him to make you happy, work on making him happy. A marriage, or any relationship only works if there is mutual respect and support and trust.
If you think you are doing your part, you are wrong it's not a 50/50 thing in every area and you are not aware of the sacrifice he is making to keep your family together financially
Grow up and be a spouse, not a whiney kid.
2006-11-17 13:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by the shadow knows 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pick an evening where you can just cater to him. Make it an night for him and only him where you satisfy his every needs. It doesn't have to be sex at first, it could just be a nice dinner where you feed him, massage him, a rub him and make him feel like he's king... just something sweet and relaxing because he is stressful. Do what you can and use what you know about your husband to get him aroused but don't make it too formal that you want to have sex. If he get's "relaxed" and "aroused" enough then you never know, one thing could lead to another and you could get lucky. If you try this one day and it doesn't lead to sex then it's fine... you'll just be more prepared and know what to do for next time.
2006-11-17 13:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
think back to what you did while you are dateing.have dates,even if you have to do it while your child is asleep.one night find a sitter for a few hours and be dressed in a teddy and have candle light,dinner the whole bit.maybe he thinks you spend all your time on the baby.put love notes tucked in his pocket ,that he will find next day at work,dont give up.
2006-11-17 13:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress can really bring you down. It can make you pyhscially sick! He has even more responsibilities now and more demanding issues in life. but I hope he could take the time out with you to seek counseling? This would really help you guys out alot.
2006-11-17 13:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do something special for the two of you..even if it kindof embaresses you...like, get some "pink" lightbulbs and plug them in your room , put silky sheets on the bed, light candles, have lotion ( for a massage) near the bed and let your husband find all the special stuff, it'll get his imagination going then he'll be more likely to wanna " mess around"
2006-11-17 13:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by chicwitpurpose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try having a get away iwth just the 2 of you,if that is not financially possibly then get someone to watch the kid for the weekend. shut off the phone,and t.v.and just try to do romantic things
2006-11-17 13:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Carl The green's keeper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had a kid. Your sex life is over.
get used to it.
Once you have kids your life is over.
Childfree and proud of it.
My wife and I have sex at least 5 times a week.
No friggin brats to bother us or to worry about.
No huge debt because of the kid.
Kids will ruin your life.
Sorry you life sucks, but that's what you get for having kids.
2006-11-17 13:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by alanpks4 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋