Ive been in a relationship for 6 years and we had been together for about a yr when i fell pregnant he didnt want kids so i had a termination, so i told him if i fell again i could not go through it again as it was not a nice experience, we have not being gettin on affection whats so ever, 18 months ago we had one night of sex which had been once in a long time and i happen to fall pregnant with twins, we havent had sex since or any affection towards me in any way, when im tired after having the twins and being up in the night he just says you wanted them. I love all my kids and do not regret having the twins are my older daughter but we are not getting on and i need some attention (affection) just like i would think he does too, could anyone plz help me?
2006-11-17 12:27:55 · 13 answers · asked by lisa b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He sounds like a very angry "trapped" man.
It also sounds like he's not prepared to "come round" until he's good and ready, if he ever allows that to happen.
From his point of view, how can he be sure that if he shows you affection/makes love to you again, you won't fall pregnant for a third time?
You have to use more reliable contraception. You have to look out for yourself.
That aside, whether you stay together or not, he's going to have to contribute towards the upkeep of his children, whether he wants to or not.
Its going to be very difficult to salvage this relationship, because the trust and respect seems to have disappeared the day you told him you were pregnant again.
Its difficult to know what to advise you to do? Stay with a man who is resentful and unhelpful and raise your children in this unhealthy atmosphere?
Or ask him to leave/you leave and end up raising 3 children on your own?
Either way, you have to stay strong for your children's sake and your own. Can you get out once in a while, chill out with your family and/or friends? Join a mother and baby group? Meet other mothers from your daughter's school? Spend quality time away frome the home? Give him opportunities to miss you all?
If you show yourself to be coping, happy, spending quality time with your children, keep yourself looking smart, carry yourself with a purpose in life, it may be that what he first found attractive in you, he may find again.
Good luck.
2006-11-17 12:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jamma354 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids need a loving environment to be raised in, and if their father isn't giving that to them or you, why would you put them through that. That is only going to hurt your children, they will grow up feeling as if they were not wanted by their father. Can you do that to your children and if so, you don't deserve them. There are millions of people who can't have children and you had them because it wasn't a pleasant experience to terminate. Here is a good idea, BIRTH CONTROL. I think that you wanted a these babies and didn't care about anything like your relationship or the welfare of the kids growing up in a home where they will feel unloved
2006-11-17 12:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its like asking yourself, do I want a chance to be happy and therefore make my childrens home environment a happy one too, or do I want to stay in this loveless relationship and make my life and my childrens miserable. I know what my answer would be. Get rid of him girl, you deserve better, and you will cope without him, by the sound of it he's of no use to you. I left a bad relationship, and have never been happier, and my children have come on in leaps and bounds since, so go for it .
2006-11-17 13:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, i comprehend that that's amazingly confusing to be acquaintances with an ex - particularly so quickly after the destroy-up. He only needs time and area to himself for a whilst so as that he can get used to the reality which you're actually not from now on a pair. no rely what selection your innovations makes, it relatively is worry-free on your heart to place the blinders on. he's only attempting to adhere to his weapons, and shop your relationship in examine. If he gets mad, then that for the duration of all threat ability that he does not experience mushy chatting with you as a pal only yet. supply it a while... A friendship with an ex would be an incredible difficulty, in spite of the undeniable fact that it relatively is confusing to navigate the turbulent thoughts that pass alongside with that new dynamic - particularly for us men!
2016-10-15 16:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I normally don't like to see relationship splits...especially if there was love on both sides, atleast at one point in time. But, first things first. WTF did you see in this guy! What the hell's the matter with you?! It's talk time, really. You need to sit down with him and give both of your honest, no-bullshit accessments of the relationship. If there is love (caring), it is time to see counselling. Both of you accepting that you need counselling together in itself should help right away, as does just accepting that you have problems and can improve does with anything. If not, if there is no love for each other (on both sides!) then it is time to discuss separating. Again, for the kids sake I hope there is love and commitment to the improvement of your relationship.
2006-11-17 13:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by adtmatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you are unhappy. He will not change. It is sad to part but if you can, just do it before it's too late. You are stopping each other from finding happiness with someone else. Go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau who will be able to point you in the right direction.
2006-11-17 12:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sandee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the spark in your relationship has gone but i think its worth trying to save it for the children. maybe you should talk about it and agree to put some effort in to try and save things
2006-11-17 12:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your partner when you are alone in a relaxed atmosphere and you need to tell him what your needs are and what you want out of your relationship and you need to let him tell you want he wants and work on a compromise
2006-11-17 12:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry if this sounds harsh...BUT...if you're askin' the question; you're knowin' the answer...
2006-11-17 12:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by franja 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, that will good for u
2006-11-17 20:35:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋