What is cheating?

Question

of course kissing and having sex with some one else.
But:
1.- what if you have fantasies with some one else?
2.- what if you play with yourself imagining you are with some one else?
3.- what if you think of some one else, while making love to your spouse?
4.- what if you have cyber sex?

just for the record, im not asking this for my self, I just love to learn the more i can about realtionships, and this are things that might hapen in a relationship :)

Answer 1

There is no answer to this question. Only you and your significant other can come up with the answers. In one relationship, all the above is cheating...but in another none are. Cheating, really, is any act that would disrupt the trust that you or your significant other have for one another. Make sense? You could do something that they do not feel is cheating, but you feel as if you cheated...then it is cheating. And vice versa. Later.

Answer 2

1 & 4 are the same and yes it is. Why? because if you wouldn't tell your significent other what your imagining then your own heart is telling you to hide what your doing. (Concience?) Since there are no secrets in a committed relationship you are breaking a fundamental statute. Also, how can you claim to love the one your with if at the very moment you are holding her and looking into her eyes, your dreaming of someone else? Reflect on what is infered be the phrase " I love YOU".
2. If you have a loving spouse (see #4) why are you masterbating? And personally, I think you are dissrespecting both spouse and imaginary someone else.
3. Would you yell out "OH! Sally!" during lovemaking to your spouse? Assuming her name isn't Sally. Not if your sane. So it's something your concience tells you would hurt her, make her made and land you in deep s***. How could you do something to hurt the very person you love and are "suposidely" making love to?
I'm not saying these activities are bad but that they should be left behind when you enter a real mature relationship founded upon the love of each other.

Answer 3

I do not think having fantasies about other people is cheating. The only thing I think is cheating on your list is the cyber sex thing. I was married for 10 years, and I became "involved" with a cyber partner. Until I got caught I did not think it was cheating. Then the inevitable happened and i got caught. It has been 5 years since my divorce and I can honestly say................I was cheating. I was not happy in my marriage and I looked for something elsewhere..........it just happened to be in cyber space. I am happy now, but I do know that no matter which way you stray. Whether it be live and in person or behind a computer it is still having intimate contact with another person other than your spouse.

Answer 4

Yes to all the above, they are cheating.
1. why would you have fantasies about someone other than the spouse, are they no good enough for you that you can't fantasize about them?
2.again, why can't you imagine that you are with your spouse
instead of another, is the spouse not good enough for you?
3. why would you be thinking about another person when you are making love to your spouse, why would you EVEN want to be thinking of someone else when making love to your spouse?
4. cyber sex is cheating as well

If you are not ready to devote your time to your spouse with out thinking of another person every time you are involved in a sexually act, you have no business being with the spouse.

How would you feel if your spouse did all the above to you? I would feel that I was not good enough for them myself to tell you the truth. I think that if they did not change and start thinking about me all the time instead of thinking about the another person all the time I would start thinking how fast that I could move on and let them live in their little fantasy world.

Answer 5

Things that happen only in your head aren't cheating, man, everyone does that.

Cyber sex might be a different story, though, it all depends on the relatioship. The easiest way to figure it out? If it is something that you do not want her to know about, something you need to keep hidden, it's most likely cheating.

Hope this is helpful to you!

Answer 6

none of those are cheating in my opinion, but doing 3 isnt fair to who ever your with. if my b/f did that ide prolly leave him thinking i wasnt good enough anymore. and 4 isnt cheating but eventually would probably lead to cheating, why talk about sex like that with someone else? if you do 3 & 4 you should consider who your with

Answer 7

In MY book cheating is sharing intimacies with someone who isn't your spouse, anything you wouldn't do in front of your spouse is cheating.
1-3 is not cheating, it's all in your head.
4 is definitely cheating.

Answer 8

I think cheating when you socaily talk to another person. Sex is not in the picture. Thats a cheating thing

Answer 9

If u are doing any of the above then why are u even with her? Grow up and wait until u find someone that is your fantasies and everything esle.

Answer 10

# 1 is not cheating but the rest forget it it's crazy.Yoou need to leave ya spouse.Alot of people likes to have there treats and eat it to but if your honest you will be good and let other people have some treats not sex.