2006-11-17 11:33:23 · 67 answers · asked by pinkychel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to mention that she has been asking him for a divorce for the last 6 months and won''t go to marriage guidance.We've always been good friends and although nothing has happened between us yet,theres a possibility it will.
2006-11-17 11:38:21 · update #1
You are really playing with fire here!!!! Are you absolutely sure he loves you or is he just playing you???? You would be alot better off putting a stop to this NOW. If not you are going to end up losing your sister and more than likely the man too.
2006-11-17 11:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by shirley e 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
How the f---- did you have time to do that? Stay away from your sisters husband. If you love your sister and dont want to hurt your family. Take a vacation with some of your girlfriends, move, do volunteer work, you will be certain to meet someone there to take your mind off your sister husband, which is a line you should never have crossed in the first place.And I hope his feelings are not mutual. Your thoughts of love wont be anything compared to the hell you are going to go through if you let this info be known.
2006-11-17 11:40:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time to distance yourself. Get right out of all the dynamics. Because as the siter and the friend of the hubby you are now the meat in the sandwich. You are also in the damned if you do - damned if you dont situation. If they devorce and you are having an affair - even innocent flirtations you risk being seen as the other woman by your sister. you risk being the temptress for the hubby and down the track hear from both sides "If it was not for you we could of worked it out".
Also it makes it easier for hubby to just move out of one sisters house into the other sisters house with no cooling off period, no grieving.
No you need to distance yourself. Tell hubby that he has things to do and decisions to make that you want him to make independent of you. Maybe try to make it work one last time. make it clear you care but that he needs to do what he thinks is right without the distraction of you because if you do eventually develop a relationship with this man then down the track when the bloom wears of the sage with you - you run the risk of hearing all sorts of accusations.
Now is the time to distance yourself and when hubby is a free man then you will be free to see him and taht way you risk not aleinating your sister. But for the time being stay out of it and stay away. This advice will also help the other members of your family who will be tempted to take sides. Good luck and tread carefully - affairs of the heartt have a habbit of transforming into major boils on the butt very quickly, when sisters and sisters husbands are involved!!!
2006-11-17 23:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't go there hun, she's your sister, even though she's wanting a divorce, you should stay clear from him, you cant replace your family but you can replace a man, this will cause such friction of you act upon it....i hope you and he have not been having an affair..you say that you are both in love, in order to get these feelings, something must have happened between you both...do the right thing and walk away...even in years to come, you may be with him, and that means he will still be on the scene (in your family circle), imagine the atmosphere with you and your sister, it's just not worth it
2006-11-17 23:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and my sister did do it and I no longer have a husband and my sister no longer exists in my world either. If you cherish the relationship of your sister you will stay away from him. Sisters are supposed to be best friends not stealing each others husbands. You need to answer your own question. Which one means more to you. A sister that will be in your life forever or a man that is willing to cheat on your sister and will do the same thing to you if the chance arises.
A fling or family?
2006-11-17 11:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep away from him unless and until you see the finalized divorce papers, and even then it's a bad idea unless your sister sincerely gives you her blessing (without you pressuring her into it). Also, remember that she might have a very good reason for asking him for a divorce (i.e., something about him that wouldn't be good for you either). And even if she doesn't, if he's in love with you, why is he refusing her request? If it's because he wants to repair their marriage, then hanging out with you is not helpful in that respect and shows he doesn't really respect either of you, and if it's because he's spineless, why would you want to date him?
2006-11-17 11:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by ladyklt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of the situation. Your sister will always be your sister for the rest of your life. You do not even know if the situation with this man is going to work. Why should you hurt your sister feelings. Not only that but there's a entire family involved. Do you think your parents will approve? Do you think your friends will approve? Honey your are setting yourself for a life of pain if you move forward with that. There are millions of men out there looking for someone like you. Plus you do not know your sisters husband real intentions. If he wants to use you to get to her and hurt her. If they marriage is not working that should be a heads up for you. Instead of him trying to work it out with his wife he makes a move on the sister. How convenient.
2006-11-18 06:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you dug this ditch, now dig out of it. Start giving her bills to pay...yes, write the checks, save the cash...you pay the bills now and do all for her. Start helping her to grow up...Cook, clean, shopping, what ever she does not do now...get her started doing those life sustaining things...Then you stop doing it..That will force her to do these things. Continue to be kind to her, but if you truly feel like you love her like a little sister, you need to stop having sex with her too. Don't you feel guilty having sex with her? This answer will help you realize if you love her like a wife or you are just looking for more excitement in a relationship. Good luck with common sense.
2016-05-21 23:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO not act on these feelings! You are playing with fire and should cease and desist all inappropriate communication and behavior with your sister's boyfriend. Let them figure out their situation and if they are moving toward divorce let that happen.
I don't know if it would ever be appropriate for you to act on these feelings with your sister's husband because it is unlikely that your sister could accept or forgive that betrayal. However, if you feel so strongly and you two are truly "in love" you need to wait until your sister is divorced before you act on these feelings, and then only if your sister gives her blessings.
Good luck! Nothing just "happens," one decides to act on her feelings. Do not do anything you'll regret.
2006-11-17 14:55:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetness2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty easy really isn't it?
If your sister wants a divorce tell her husband to agree, then do whatever you feel is right, in the meantime he is a married man, tell him that! see if he still fancies you, and steer clear until the divorce is sorted, he may well be just after a bit on the side, do you want to take that risk???
And check with your sister to make sure he has agreed to a divorce, then still steer clear until its sorted..
2006-11-17 21:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by budding author 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Couldn't you have looked a bit further afield? Press on by all means but don't expect a Christmas card from anyone with the same surname as you ever again. Love bites you on the a*se when you least expect it but are you sure honey, really?? Is it just the case of you wanting something you can't have?
2006-11-17 11:40:11 · answer #11 · answered by Emerelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋