Has your family or friends ever dis-own you for marry outside your race?

Question

Yes, This is the 21st Century folks, but some people are very sensitive on the issue. One of my friends who is black married a Filipino guy. Her parents/family cut all ties to her, so she has no family on her side. Luckily her husband's Filipino side is very large and accepting. They have two really good looking kids. So, who would agree that that is right or wrong?

Answer 1

I never understood " Disowning " a child. It sound like they're throwing out an old toy. If they feel they can throw away their own children just because they married into a different genetic code, then they never were loving parents in the first place and I think she's better for it.

Answer 2

Well I'm mixed so it would be a little more complicated for me. Personally, I don't plan on getting married but if I were to find a good man, his race would not make a difference as to whether I'd marry him or not. I would actually prefer to marry/have kids with someone of a different race so I could learn about a culture other than my own.

Answer 3

This really bugs me, the reason is that our genetic code is 99% alike, and that means all races. We are only different skin deep and that should not mean anything to anyone with five cents of intelligence.
I went through that back in the70's when I got married, she is Hispanic and I am white, but no one wanted to disown us. They just felt at the time the difficulties we would run into. There were none as we live on the west coast, but upon visits in the south we ran into problems, have not been that way since.
It is so strange that one race cannot comprehend that we are all God's children and color gives us a rainbow of life.

Answer 4

I have always dated outside of my race, and been the "black sheep" of the family. Every time I got with someone new, the first thing out of their mouths was "What color is he?" I couldn't tell you how many conversations started with " Why can't you just find a white guy?" I let it go in one ear, and out the other.
I have been married to a black man for the last eight years. Two years ago we moved to the same town as my parents. I waited eight months to even let them know.
They have gotten to know my husband, and I think they like him more than me :)
Just six months after they found out, they moved right next door!
I know that I am lucky. My family is trying to right many wrongs that they have done me. Not all of them have to do with this issue,
but the effort has paid off.
I can't say that it is wrong or right to disown your child for this reason. People have their beliefs, and most will tend to stick by them, regardless of the hurt and pain they will cause. Lots of times, the birth of a grandchild will bring them to their senses.
In my case, I never had children, I just got lucky!
Good luck to all

Answer 5

I think that the loss is all on the girl's family, they are losing out on knowing their grandchildren, a blessing no matter what, pray that they will come around and I hope your friend can forgive them for being so narrow minded.

I respect her for staying beside the man she chose and loves, for this purpose a woman shall leave her mother and her father and they become one through their children it is God's way and what God has brought together let no man bring asunder. Those are mighty words and commandments by the One who instituted the great sacrament of marriage. God bless them and their children and their love.

Answer 6

I am West Indian and growing up I was always told that black men weren't no good.Oddly enough, I found myself only attracted to african american males and begun dating them behind my father's back . My father beat me up the first time he caught me with my black boyfriend , he told me I was disgusting and that if I married out of my race, he would disown me like my mother did. Funny, 13 years later and many black men later I'm married to a black man and after my father met my husband he realized that he was wrong, he still hasn't totally accepted out marriage but I've been standing my ground - I love my husband with my very being with or without my dad's approval. My husband's family is accepting of me and have welcomed me with open arms.

Answer 7

Its disgusting! Parents who try to control their children's lives in adulthood like that probably aren't very nice people anyway. Families are meant to be supportive of each other. I am in a mixed race relationship, but my parents just want me to be happy whatever i choose. As long as your friends guy is good to her then what do her family have to worry about? Not only have they lost their daughter, their missing out on their two lovely grandchildren too. So its only them cutting off their nose to spite their face.

Answer 8

Its not always a racist thing, sometimes the family thinks that by marring someone with a different culture is gonna make you different or is not gonna understand your culture. Or that they are gonna raise the children in a very different way. Itll take time for them to understand, cause its really not their choice but people shoudnt think that its always a racist thing.

Answer 9

My family disowned me for marrying a man 17 years older than me - in this day and age I think it is really terrible for families to be so quick to disown their children. As long as your children are happy and in no danger let them lead their own lives and be happy for them - life is too damm short for such pettiness

Answer 10

i married outside my race, and i heard a few whispers here and there, but not from my friends or family...the people i associate with are open minded decent folks...guess i'm one of the lucky ones