My mother is so selfish and mean. She isn't good at showing love period, but out of all her kids I think she hates me most. It's like she can't see herself. She's so self-righteous. Sometimes my entire mood will change just from her being in the room. I want to let all this go but it just isn't as easy as I would like. I'm starting to think that the only way to be happy is to move far away, only see her on holidays, and to take her out of my everyday life. I don't want to disrespect her but it seems like I'm going to have to blow-up at her for her to take notice. I need her to be careful and loving with me. I want her to act like she's proud of me, that she loves me or even likes me. If she's not going to do that I feel like I should be done with her. I'm 18 and I'm going some where with myself. I have stuff that I want to do, and they aren't going to be easy. I don't need her scaring me any more and holding me back. Help me out. What do you think?
2006-11-17 11:28:11 · 6 answers · asked by Just wondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
your mom sounds a lot like mine. seriously, there was no changing my mom, and i don't think you can change your's either. plus, it's much harder to change someone else than to change yourself. i understand you need her to be supportive and loving, but that just might never happen. forgive her for not being the mother you need her to be. very hard, i know and it won't happen over night. but it has to. you can't spend your whole life waiting for something that will not happen. there are lots of people out there who will love you for who you are!! just because your mom never learned how to love, doesn't mean you aren't loved! and who knows, someday when you don't need it anymore, she might surprise you and let you know that she loves you and explain why it is so hard for her to show feelings. but don't hold your breath. concentrate on your life, your friends and the places you'll go. but don't shut your mother out of your life. i tried that and it only gave me a bad conscience. keep her close, learn how to love her. not like her, love her. just for being your mom.you'll be the better person for it, you'll be able to be at peace with it. i wish you all the strength you'll need.
2006-11-17 11:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Distance may be the only option for maintaining a relationship. But that's still not going to help the way that she makes you feel. You should write her a letter and tell her the way she hurts you and how you feel about everything. Writing can be a much easier form of communication sometimes because you can take your time and think before you say something and there's no one there being defensive and talking back to you. You get everything out you need to get out, and she has time to think before she responds. Good Luck!
2006-11-17 19:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by kimberli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First talk to your mom write her a letter or something telling HOW you feel and WHY you feel like this that may work. If your mother is truly as bad as you say she is then do what you need to do for yourself.Some people may disagree with me saying you should work things out with your parents, you only have one mother etc... But parents are people too and just because their parents doesnt exempt them from being bad people. Do whats good for you! Being around negative people only brings you down mother or not. I think your desision is smart move away come around on holidays if you want but don't let yourself be victimized.
2006-11-17 19:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by jetgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are right.. sometimes distance can help the relationship. if i were u, i would apply to schools out of state, and start learning and living my own life. NOTHING u do will make her happy if u do it for her...if u do it for urself... u never know, she may learn to be proud of u for achieveing things w/o her help :).
my sister is a bit like that.. if she comes in the room i feel suffocated.. i don't know why! she moved away to another country and i feel.. closer to her, we chat online and stuff. but if she lived here, Chaos!!!
good luck... since u are 18, i say go seek ur fortune~~ alwasy seek what is Positive, Healthy and Happy, and u will be able to get thru the hard times... do ur best to Respect her, but that doesnt' meant be her scapegoat.
2006-11-17 19:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart listen to me. Ur mother loves you more than you think. She probably just don't want you to turn out the way she did. She's not trying to hold u back she just trying to make it a little easy for you. Just listen cause please believe she's not gonna tell you nothing wrong. And what ever you do, don't disrespect her cause you will shorten your days. And the bible speaks on that. You will find yourself struggling and you would not know why.
2006-11-17 19:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by tessie35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea you should go or stay for a little longer do you love her do you tell her that you love her maybe if you show how she makes you feel maybe she'll change the way she feels and give you love back
2006-11-17 19:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by MS.NEISHA-BOO SUCH A KUTIE!!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋