My ex broke up with me two months ago. She broke up with me the day after she started seeing a therapist for her troubles. Her father died 5 months ago, she has low self esteem, and told me she has been unhappy for a long time. She said that she could not be happy in a relationship until she was happy with herself. She apologized, asked me not to hate her, and said she thought we had really good potential, but the timing of us sucked because of her. She apologized for me having to deal with a crazy person like her but said she hoped we could talk and be friends cuz thats all she could handle for the moment. I told her that I understood and am there 4 her if she ever needs anyone. I have not seen her in two months. I know she goes out with her other friends alot. I may hear from her every 2 weeks. She says that she hopes I am doing well and to drop her a line whenever. So do you think she misses me, or how do you think she sees me, maybe seein me would make her sad???
2006-11-17 10:40:48 · 12 answers · asked by Clrcut27 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she has had a major loss in her life. Let her work it out. I doubt that you would make her sad; if anything you can offer her support, but only if she wants it..
in the meantime, your life should not be on-hold. Keep moving forward for yourself. good luck
2006-11-17 10:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just reassure her that u are there if she needs to talk...and move on. this is for ur own good as well as hers.. if u continue to "bother" her, she may end up using u as a Crutch! she needs to be able to take some time out on her own, focus what she needs to do, and prioritize. sometimes that starts from scratch, and that means taking soem downtime to figure things out. u are someone she has had emotional ties with, and therfore going out w/ u can tug at the heart, which perhaps she just wants to go out and "have fun"... whether it be girls or guys...as long as it is people who do not make her too emotional. for whatever it's worth, try to be there for her if she needs, but don't depend on getting back w/ her. the more strong, confident, Happy man u are, the more u can contribute to Any relationship, be it friends or family or even strangers. good luck
2006-11-17 11:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going through a lot in her life, however she is keeping you hanging on because she can have you at the drop of a hat. You can be friends with her and support her and still move on with your life, which is what you need to do. Allow her space, and find some for yourself, the drama in her life creates drama in yours. If you were meant to be together than you will be, but you can't put your life on hold because she needs to find herself. You could be waiting for a long time for her to find herself. Good luck
2006-11-17 10:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to be with her, you need to be with her. If she is not ready for a 'relationship' being her friend is going to be good for her. Your presence isn't going to make her sad. It may even make her happy! In fact, if I had done that to a guy, I would want him to be there when I need him, and even take me out as friends once in a while. Go do something fun with her. Don't let her think that her depression or whatever it is affects you that much. And if it does, you need to move on.
2006-11-17 10:46:26 · answer #4 · answered by toothfairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing you should not make her sad. YOU are NOT the source of her troubles. If you feel up to it then help..... providing you know that everything she says is true. Alot of times people use
tragedy in their life to pull away from people that they may not want to see anymore.
If YOU feel up to it then help, but make sure that you dont fall into the "helpless woman" routine with her.
From my experience, when someone is going through a "rough time" it helps to have a significant other to be there and help you through it...........not dump your boyfriend to "find yourself".
Not saying the ex isnt completely honest.........just watch your
back and take it slow. Trust your gut on this one.
Good luck
2006-11-17 10:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe u remind her about her father. what kind of friends she goes out with if its girls let it go if boys then u r busted sorry.
well try to find another girl friend. i don't think she will come back but who knows maybe she will but u said u will be there when she needs help so don't worry about it now keep Ur mind on Ur life and Ur happiness try to Cheer her up on the way. be friends nothing more for now until she recovers i wish you good luck man
2006-11-17 10:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Edvard F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a sweetie to think of her, even though you have to be in pain. But you did not cause her problem, and there is nothing you can do to cure it. ...... and remember that line, because it is true. Good that she is in therapy. You now have to decide for yourself if you wish to wait around or move on. We are meant to be partnered, and she is not capable of that now, and maybe not for a long time....she's being truthful at least to you. In your place, I think I'd begin to move on, and try to meet someone else. She is your ex, so you are legally free to get on with your life......
2006-11-17 10:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If you hang around awaiting for her all you will do is become her backup guy. If you move on she will see that you do have worth. Plus you might even become happy on the way,
2006-11-17 10:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT GUY. I WOULD SAY DON'T TRY TO GET TO CLOSE AT THIS TIME BUT YES DEFINITELY BE THERE FOR HER. GO OUT YOUR SELF AND HAVE FUN. DON'T LET THIS GET IN YOUR WAY AND MAYBE LATER WHO KNOWS! GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-17 10:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by Rainbow Brite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, it seems to me that she just was not into you as much as you would have liked her to be. i don't think this will go any further than a friendship. so if you are hoping for more. don't!! move on.
2006-11-17 10:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋