I grew up hearing from every woman and man that there is no such thing as a loyal man, I always accuse my husband of cheating and then he proves me wrong. i think this can ruin our marriage.
2006-11-17 10:27:26 · 18 answers · asked by maria o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are going to continue to accuse him of something he's not doing, chances are he will eventually give you a reason to accuse him. Don't push it that far. It is okay to have doubts and question his behavior, where-abouts, etc., just don't verbalize those questions to him...over time, those questions in your mind will eventually answer themselves without him having to "prove" anything to you......you don't have to confront him with every little doubt...It will evenutally ruin your marriage.
2006-11-17 10:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are loyal men and women out there and are few and far in between. And you can destroy a marriage by accusing your mate of it all the time when they really are good mate and will not cheat on you. But at the same time neither one of the couples should give the other a reason to think that they are. Everything should be out in the open for both to see that nothing is going on at all. When one is dishonest for any reason what so ever with the other, there is going to be wondering and doubt going on in the mind. But if some one were to think that I was cheating on them (which I will not as I don't believe in that) I would be happy knowing that they do care enough about me to know what was going on in my life. With me, everything that I do or say is right there on the table for them to see and I hide nothing. They can follow me or what ever they want to do, I have nothing to hide.
2006-11-17 11:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't know ANYTHING for sure... This is very plain and simple. You can't even know for sure every morning you leave the house that you will return in the evening, and not get killed in an auto crash. And yet, you still leave the house, do you not? There are such things as acceptable risks; if you drive a car, there's ALWAYS a risk of an accident; if you're married, there's ALWAYS a risk of infidelity. However large or small it may be, it's there. Just as you get past it when you drive your car every day, you have to get past it in your marriage. If the thought of this risk is so unbearable as to ruin your life, you should really not be married at all. However, if you feel that the benefits of marriage are too great to give them up, you really have to get past the irrational jealousy; there's no way around it. If you fret about every risk you take in your life, day in and day out, you will not be able to function.
2006-11-17 10:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
really unless you have strong evidence backing up any unfaithfulness do not accuse your husband of this. Unless you want him to say one day I can't take all this jealous crap I want
a divorce you are destroying your marriage plain and simple. Men are sensitive too and we will stand up when excused for something we didn't do and it's not being defensive it's reaction to a false accusation. It appears you may have been hurt by another guy and think this guy is no different were all different and that in itself is know cause to assume your man is cheating but if you have some money and want some clarification hire a P.I.
2006-11-17 11:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think men can be just as loyal and disloyal as women can. I dont think its just men who cheat. Maybe you should talk to more men who have been cheated on to get both sides of the story.
If you keep on accusing him of cheating then he will eventually go out and do it. Why be blamed for something you are not doing? You may as well be blamed for something you are doing. Youre getting accused anyway, so whats the difference.
And what is your lack of trust achieving anyway...it is making you miserable and probably making your husband miserable too. You have to stop it or you will end up in the divorce courts. A person can only take so much before they get sick of it. You are running the risk, by continually accusing him of cheating, that he will end up doing it. If my husband were to accuse me of something I am not doing all the time, I wouldnt put up with it. I would be forever explaining my behaviour and I need to be happy, not under the microscope because of his insecurities. They are your insecurities and you really need to deal with it. Maybe go seek some counselling because the way you are heading is not good. Your husband needs to be trusted. Do you like to be trusted? Would you like to be accused on a regular basis of doing something you are not doing? It would make your life with him so uncomfortable and stressful. You have to stop doing it.
2006-11-17 10:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't know for sure that he is faithful. That is where love and trust come in. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't trust me or whom i didn't trust. I grew up with a loyal and loving dad. He never cheated; it is against his nature. My husband is of the same mold. There are non-cheaters out there ... a lot of them. Maybe you should see a counselor and talk over your trust issues before you ruin your marriage.
2006-11-17 10:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by Amy D.R. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct...
Unless you have some good evidence,
Your accusations will ruin your marriage..
If he is innocent and constantly being accused of cheating
then he may as well go ahead and cheat...
He is going to be accused of it anyway...
Not all men cheat...
2006-11-17 11:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you think??? You seem to be looking for problems. Why would you do this?? You might as well save him the time and energy and yourself the same by moving on, you have issues about this type of thing. Its not fair to do this to him all the time. If you do he might just go on ahead and do what he's being accused of.
2006-11-17 10:49:14 · answer #8 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel that you can trust your husband, it doesn't matter whether he's cheating or not-- your marriage is on the skids.
It sounds to me as if you need to get some counseling or therapy.
2006-11-17 11:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to ruin your marriage. There are faithful men out there and your husband is probably one of the few.
2006-11-17 10:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋