I've fallen for this guy, we've met, text, emailed etc.. and he tells me he really likes me but he doesn't want to hurt me! His ex-wife cheated on him and now his ex-girlf of 7 years has also cheated on him!
I understand that he's still very hurt of what has happened, I know he needs his space, and I tried to be there for him as a friend, shoulder to cry on etc.. but that is so out of my character, its something I've never done and I'm really going out of my way to help him.
I have told him that he can contact me when he feels he's healed from the pain and suffering.. I won't contact him cos I don't want to hound him. I'm in total devastation, and he knows how much its hurting me cos I know he's the one I want to be with.
Do you think I should wait til he heals? or shall I move on?
2006-11-17 10:18:49 · 17 answers · asked by happy soul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can still keep dating and not necessarily wait for him completely. Who knows when he will be ready to date again and be fully healed. With you there waiting on him he may feel pressured to get with you because he doesn't want to lose you and in turn jump into something he may not be ready for. Healing takes time and no one really knows how long that is...not even him. Just be a good friend to him now and be there for him when he needs you. If you really like him and want to be with him just be patient. Good Luck!
2006-11-17 10:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really bothers me that some people can answer questions based on their own experience - regarding another who may be in a totally different emotional environment and nothing like the person in the question.
It's so 'narrow' minded and I hope that they are never likely to be on a jury ~ especially if it's the one I'd be appearing in front of (not that I've expectations of this).
No one knows the answer to your question - with regards an outcome for you. You simply have to go on with your life - having made you statement to him, having left the door open to and for him to return to you should he find the need.
You may well see him as 'the one you want to be with,' but I'm afraid that the cliche, 'It takes two to tango,' is a very accurate one.
I wish I could say something more positive for you. But I think that you behaved 'properly,' given the circumstances you've explained, you maintained your dignity and integrity.
I wish you all the Best.
Sash.
2006-11-17 18:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there doing that and as hard as it is you know that its the person that was sent her for you to be with. I can tell you what I did I thought that being in his presence would make him feel something for me but it doesn't work and you can't help. Loving him means letting go and doing your own thing for awhile because if you are ment to be together then he will come back to you and the time will be right and thats what I pray for everyday with the one I love and that he realizes that I was not the one who hurt him and that I wouldn't because I love him to much. But do you and it will work out Trust Me. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2006-11-17 18:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Drea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on!! There are more fish in the sea, this guy sounds like a drama queen, and will cause you nothing but pain. I assure you, it's much easier to find someone who's interested in you than to wait around for someone who's not. If he "didn't want to hurt you", he would not have taken things so far to begin with. This guy is selfish, and has personal issues that are unlikely to be resolved anytime soon. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect, not play around with your feelings.
2006-11-17 18:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..do not feel bad.I am in the same situation. The guy that I am dating has been burned so much that he pushes me away then he wants me there.It is a different story every day. I am there for him to talk to and to help him.He tells me he luvs me and wants to be with me. But then he pushes. So what do I do? What do u do? Honey I can't answer that but when u do get a answer let me know lol
2006-11-17 18:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by ladylove4322 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read "He Is Just Not That Into You". In thebook they polled 100 men in Chicago and asked the same question you are asking. 99% of the men said, "If I was into a girl fear would not be a problem."
Don't let him string you along! Good luck
2006-11-17 18:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by mariasonawire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I know exactly how he feels, every girlfriend I have ever had cheated on me, my wife of almost 19 years had an affair and left me for another man. There is only one way to heal, spiritually, physically and mentally, and He went through it all, and healed me and change my life, that is our Lord Jesus Christ, He awaits everyone, it's easy, all that you have to do is invite into your heart to lead your life.....God is love.....take care
2006-11-17 18:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think sometimes men do carry the hurt of past relationships and it does tend to affect their way of thinking. just be patient and wait and see what happens. he may not want to hurt u, so he doesn't give u encouragement, because he may not feel the same about u.
2006-11-17 19:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's controlling you, training you for a life of servitude, you are currently under test, don't pass - tell him to sort himself out or find another helpless specimen to nurture - preferably a plant.
2006-11-17 18:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by PSP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to move on after you have been hurt, especially if he really loved her. Give him time to heal.
2006-11-17 18:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by MsMoneyPenny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋