Should I throw my wife out of the house?

Question

She's just been nagging and nagging and nagging. Heck she's 16 years old. She should know better.
But if I do, what do I do about the 3 kids. She says they're mine but I'm not so sure. One of em looks just like Earl from the gas station.

And Earl is really ugly. So are the kids, come to think of it.

Answer 1

I'm Earl. I'm with Ethel. Boy is she a gas. She is a regular gal, when she gets moving and gets the lead out. Do they have that birthmark that looks like New Jersey on their buttocks( Forest Gump)? When your wife/girlfriend( 12 will get you twenty) said filler up, I took her litterally. She got the toaster and the five free fill ups.

Answer 2

Darlin" if I really thought this question was real, I would give you a real answer. But..you know...You overplayed this one by throwing "earl" into the mix. Don't think I don't appreciate the question. It is creative, almost foolish enough to be real, and has a nice little side story connected.
Ok, let's play this is real for a moment: If even one of them is Earl's, take the three of them over there, and hand them over to good ol' Earl. She is 16 huh? Well, I think you should let her go...or throw her back. She is too small to keep. (think fishing, you have to throw back the little ones so the fish stay plentiful). She nags and nags and nags...well, I guess if you put down that beer and that tittie mag, she might feel you are paying attention to your job as HUSBAND. And..that crack about her knowing better...if she married you, don't count on her knowing better at all. You are the perfect example of NOT KNOWING BETTER.
But trust me hon, if you do throw her to the curb, she may not know better, but she will soon be DOING SO MUCH BETTER!

Answer 3

Poor Earl . . . evryone's always picking on him!!! So I am assuming she has cats(I know how females love to call their pets their kids) or dogs. Try this . . . next time she nags you, put a piece of duct tape over her mouth. Second, when she takes that off and starts nagging you for taping her mouth shut on top of what she was nagging you about before(cause you KNOW she is going to) get the tape out, tape her hands behind her back and THEN tape her mouth shut. Although this is not a permenant solution, it will buy you quite some time of peace and quiet before she finally figures out that if she keeps licking through, she will finally get the tape off enough that she can nag YET again!

Answer 4

Obviously you have nothing better to do than have fun. Live long and prosper. Thanks for the 2 points.
Seriously, and I can be, the good book says it is better to live on the corner of a roof than with a nagging woman. Ouch! That has to be uncomfortable. Why don't you try to get on that Wife Swap show?

Answer 5

Well now son, ya problems ez to spot and ezeer to fix. You done let that woman get to 16 and only got three kids! No wonder shes down there ta Earl's 'pumpin' station. You need to plow your fields boy!!!

Answer 6

I thought the Dixie Chicks got rid of Earl.

Answer 7

LOL lol love it Heck yer Earl throw her out but don't forget she owns the TV.

Answer 8

16 with 3 kids buddy I hope she files divorce and you will pay, pay ,pay. They may be milkman's, grocery store clerk, just any old body but buddy your still going to pay, pay, pay. You are a bum to talk about your wife and kids that way, I hope she sticks it to your but so far you'll never have a dime Mister gas station man. They should have filled statutory rape against you

Answer 9

throw her out, you are right a 16 year old should know better and throw them kids out too, they all belong to Earl

Answer 10

16 years old and three kids huh? 2 points