It's been 3 yrs. since our divorce, he has been through a lot of women and there has been a lot of drama with each of them. He and I talk regularly b/c we have a six yr. old. About a month ago, he started calling me and asking personal questions about my love life and a week ago he said he wanted to try and work on our relationship. He said he was tired of these women and if he was going to spend money on women and get sex he'd rather do it with me. Then he says how no one has gotten his true attention since me. He came over last night and we did have sex and we had so much fun together. We did not talk about where we were going to go from here though. He wanted to talk about it, but his friend came over and we couldn't. He kissed me slowly on the lips and left. I'm just wondering if this is normal for ex's to want to get back together after going through a divorce? What exactly does he want?
2006-11-17 09:20:18 · 14 answers · asked by precious girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you're asking the wrong question: try asking yourself what YOU want from him. You have a child together, so he will never be completely out of your life. Do YOU want to give your relationship another try? What caused the original breakup? Has that been resolved to the point where you can put it behind you? I think it's a very bad idea to just have sex with him, but there might be the possibility for a new and healthier relationship with him. But stay out of bed until you have a good idea of whether this is leading somewhere YOU want it to go.
2006-11-17 09:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a hell of a romantic by telling you he'd rather spend money on you , have sex with you and is tired of other women. That must have given your ego a real boost. Anyway. You are divorced for a reason. On top of that you know what you can have with him. If your content with that. Then go for it. If you want to leave yourself open for a new life and love then let him down gently.
You may miss him and even still have feelings for him. Tread lightly. There isn't one of my ex I would ever go back to. There were times I missed them and thought about the good times. They were so far and few between. I wouldn't go back to that life for all the money in the world.
I am sorry if I am coming off negative. You guys may be made for one another, that you both needed time apart. But his reasons for wanting to return seem shallow and don't sound very heartfelt. Just be careful. Take it super slow. Keep your walls and guard up.
2006-11-17 09:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably not uncommon, but I have a feeling that this is the "grass is greener" syndrom. He remembers the good times in the marriage (of which I'm sure there were many), but is conveniently forgetting the difficulties, the sacrifices, and the reasons why the marriage broke up to begin with. Just as when he WAS married, he was probably thinking back to his single life, remembering the fun and the excitement, but not the "downtimes", the expense and the drama of it. It may just be his personality trait - not a reflection on how good (or bad) his married or single life is. Some people are not satisfied with what they have, but are always chasing what they don't have. I'm willing to bet that right now, you are his next "conquest"... as soon as you stop being such, things will revert back to the way they were right before you two split up.
2006-11-17 09:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i think ur doing the right factor, 6 years is along time for him to subsequently appreciate that he had it, and lost it.. And now desires it again.. Ur now not a faucet that he can simply activate and off when he feels adore it.. Although ur children would love u and him to work things out.. U be aware of who ur x husband is, u recognize if it stood a hazard in hell, and the kids are pleasant, they've excepted lifestyles the way it is.. Why will have to u give up a high-quality man , for anyone that didnt recognize what it took to be married in the first situation.. ???? If u were newly seperated or divorced , id have an additional view considering that i feel its very primary that children have a 2 mum or dad residence.. However in this case he waited to lengthy, and why chance all of it on the chances that it will happen once more and ur youngsters having to reside by means of this a 2d time, i believe that would only do extra harm.. So i say stick with things like they are.. I wouldnt be so harsh although with him.. That used to be kinda imply lol.. But just let him understand ur in a so much happier position to your existence now.. And ur in love with the person ur with..
2016-08-09 22:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He said he was tired of these women and if he was going to spend money on women and get sex he'd rather do it with me."
WTF!!!
In the end what it comes down to is: You don't know what you had until you've lost it.
Personally, I think going back into a relationship with him is a mistake.
2006-11-17 09:33:37 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they come to the conclusion that the grass in not greener on the other side of the mountain.
But unless you resolve problem which led you to the divorce your relation will be under same stress plus stress resulting from the separation. Suggest counseling for divorced couples.
2006-11-17 10:30:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
confident i think of ur doing the main appropriate element, 6 years is alongside time for him to finally understand that he had it, and lost it.. and now needs it returned.. ur no longer a faucet that he can only activate and off while he feels like it.. even nonetheless ur youngsters might incredibly like u and him to artwork issues out.. u recognize who ur x husband is, u recognize if it stood a raffle in hell, and the toddlers are great, they have excepted existence how that's.. why might desire to u supply up a brilliant guy , for somebody that didnt recognize what it took to be married contained in the 1st place.. ???? if u have been newly seperated or divorced , identity have a diverse view with the aid of fact i think of its necessary that toddlers have a 2 parent living house.. yet subsequently he waited to long, and why threat all of it on the percentages that it may ensue returned and ur youngsters having to stay via this a 2nd time, i think of that could basically do greater injury.. so i say stay with issues like they're.. I wouldnt be so harsh nonetheless with him.. that became into kinda propose lol.. yet only enable him recognize ur in a plenty happier place on your existence now.. and ur in love with the guy ur with..
2016-10-04 02:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by hobin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he wants his cake and eat it too. Why did you divorce in the first place? Was he sleeping around on you during your marriage? I would make him "run the gauntlet" to prove himself worthy of returning into your life. If he is serious, make him go to pre-marital counseling. You MUST resolve the issues that landed you in divorce court to begin with.
If that is what YOU want. Just don't let him use you and your child.
2006-11-17 09:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you are the one who wants the relationship to continue.
2006-11-17 09:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been through alot of women and none of them found him worth keeping. That should be telling you something.
2006-11-17 10:13:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋