domestic violence,how do u move on emotionally when he,s gone??

Answer 1

Get some counseling domestic violence leaves scars that will and can heal. Get busy doing something, not spending your time dwelling on the past relationship. God bless*********************

Answer 2

The answer to this isn't an easy one because this is a deep scar that will seem to take forever to heal.. However it will heal.. The first thing you need to do is swear off guys for at least a year.. This wil allow you time to rebuild yourself and right now you need to be extremely selfish about yourself.. You are probably an emotional wreck and until you build up your self confidence and self esteem you would only get involved with someone that will leave you scarred even more.. I say this not to hurt you but because my mom was abused by my father and went right back into a relationship that was even worse.. Ended up in the hospital a few times.. She finally woke up one day and decided to love herself like she wanted to be loved and after about a year she found one of the nicest guys on earth.. Men that abuse women have an uncanny ability to pick out women they can abuse.. Love yourself never forget and give yourself plenty of time to heal.. You will be stronger and more able to make better decisions as far as relationships go.. Good luck and God bless you

Answer 3

I have the answer! Take up ballroom dancing or scrapbooking. Start a new day tomorrow and wake up and say, Today is a new day, This is what I am going to do and stick with it. The dancing is not only fun but will bring out endorphins that will keep you up.
Good luck, I have been there and that is how I kept going. It is hard but you have to start somewhere.
Or get a dog. Dachshunds are loveable.

Answer 4

You will, it will not heal by tomorrow but this will definitely make you a much stronger person and you will probably be less likely to submit to violence again. All emotional wounds take time to heal...start going out with a group of friends and enjoy what life has to offer you now that you have freed yourself from this person.

Answer 5

Get in touch with Women's Aid and join one of their support groups or Pattern Changing groups... they are free and offer lots of support and advice. They even offer counselling services and Outreach too.
Take it slow and take time to re-discover yourself.

Good luck!

Check this link for loads of advice&links for moving on too...
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100360004

Answer 6

You know what, you think about what he did to you, the mental and physical abuse. Imagine living like that for the rest of your life? Now .. you're free, move on, dont look back and hold you're head up high and remember, you're free, alive and you live life to the max!!!

Answer 7

there are support groups, don't be afraid to reach out. You are not alone and you are not the only one that has gone through this. Be careful in the future not to just take abuse because you love someone (easier said then done) but.. there is no need for you to have to be abused.

Answer 8

i suffered years of violence through two marriages then found the strength to be strong and move on it is easier than you thing you are worth more than that there is help out there if you need it be strong good luck

Answer 9

Hi honey
It's so hard to move on.
I've had 2 violent husbands,The first wouldn't call me an ambulance when I was bleeding to death and also beat me when I was 7 months pregnant-
He'd always tell me I was useless and that I should find a grave to lay in-
Even when I got rid of him he'd sleep in my garden.So I moved away and didn't tell him.

Then I got married again to a compulsive drug addict who turned out to be even worse-
He was nice infront of everyone else-
He made me leave my home in Essex to live in a remote part of Yorkshire-He was the driver,it was 10 miles to the nearest town.
I was having his baby but 4 days after our wedding he chucked his ring off cos I asked him a question about a motorbike-
He was always screaming at me and my daughters-
3 days before the birth by elective C-Section I had to go to hospital [my last baby died] cos I thought the baby was coming-He wouldn't take me-
When she was 2 weeks he left me cos I asked him to hold her while I breastfed.So he left me for 8 days.I couldn't even feed my kids cos he had the phone cut off.
I kept taking him back and he left me 5 times in 4 months-One time was a week before xmas-He once left me in the car on the dual carraigeway and walked off with my baby-It took him 25 mins to come back-I had no keys or phone.
He also tried to take her once and I had to get the police out.
He was always throwing me around-He even said 4 weeks after the C-Section he was gonna pay for a tummy tuck-I'm only a UK size 12.
He made me have sex with him 8 days after the birth and got me weed so I wasn't in pain,and I don't do drugs,I hate them.
But then he hit my daughters and I left immediatly.

I went into refuge back in Essex and cut all ties.
I filed for divorce and bankruptcy and I luckily got rehoused

He now wants access to the baby,which he can have but it's at a contact center for 1 hour per fortnight.I never have to see him again.

I have my driving test next month and I'm gonna study law too.
I still love my hubby but it's misplaced.
How can I love someone that chased someone with a machete,
How can I love someone that used to scream at me 'bye bi*ch' cos I asked him to hold his baby
How can I love someone who says his best ever sex was when I was in the worst possible pain ever.


Get tough with yourself cos it ain't about him no more-It's all about you.
YOU YOU YOU.

Answer 10

I agree with getting counselling, cognitive behaviour therapy, also assertiveness training.
You'll learn a lot about how to spot people like that sooner before you get too involved, and you'll learn a lot about yourself.
It will help you deal with it and move on.
Best of luck to you.