whenever we argue about something, he takes it seriously and instead of resolving the issues. he acts like he wants to leave me and he says "you know I never loved you" and everytime, my heart breaks even more.
and today, I told him I felt alone last night and I couldn't sleep because of blah blah and he was insensitive about it and now he acts like nothing happened.
And I'm hurting so much I feel like I'm getting sick and I haven't eaten anything today because I've been crying all day long.
Why is marriage hard?
2006-11-17 08:35:22 · 17 answers · asked by Pedro Xavier Ramirez 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel like I'm dying. It hurts so much.
2006-11-17 08:51:39 · update #1
I'm truly sorry to hear that. Marriage is very hard and it takes a lot of work. I would suggest individual counseling and perhaps your husband would acknowledge the fact that he is hurting you and come to counseling with you. Men tend to become defensive during a argument and women get their feelings hurt. Also, men usually get over what is wrong or act like its not a big deal- it is. He seems to be trying to hurt you and that is not okay. Tell him that you need to talk, that you are concerned about your marriage and that you would like to look into counseling. Don't attack him or he won't be open to your suggestion. I hope everything works out. You are not alone- God is with you and can help you through this. I'll be praying for your marriage. God Bless.
2006-11-17 08:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by Psychgirl35 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet pea, marriage is hard to a certain point but it's never supposed to be pain full and heart breaking. My advise is short and to the point...Try sitting down and let him know that he's ripping your heart out and something HAS to change! offer to try some counseling. maybe probing him to say what's got him all in an up roar will make him feel better thus, being nicer to you. If that don't work, maybe chock this up as an experience and move on. I would never! tell someone I love that I didn't or try and hurt that person on purpose. For him to tell you that he never loved you is a sure sign that the marriage is ending or he has something in mind. You need to get him to commit to the marriage, your feelings or get out but taking this kind of emotional abuse is bull sh*t, you don't need that crap in your life. the world is full of men that don't go out of his way to hurt the person he loves and you shouldn't settle for anything less! And believe it or not, this is short and to the point because I've seen this crap before and I could tell you a lot more about abusive relationships, I just helped a good friend leave one. good luck to you and keep your chin up and smile, no one can take that away from you. :)
2006-11-17 09:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by dhwilson58 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard to tell how bad things are for sure since I don't know you and your husband, etc. But if you want to give a shot at turning things around, you could think about what you could do to show your love for him. You know, instead of focusing on how much you hurt, try to take a look at his needs and problems and what you can do that's positive for him. Also, you can focus a little bit on not being dependent on him and developing your own interests. Between the two, it might help. Also, you could try checking out this yahoo group called The Committment Chronicles. It's basically a newsletter written by a woman who helps other women get what they want out of their marriages. You can see all the back issues there too.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thecommitmentchronicles/
Take care, and I hope you feel better soon. Oh, yeah, and it never hurts to pray.
2006-11-17 08:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by sailing_orienteer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so easy for to say...leave him but in reality it's not as easy in action because so much feelings/emotions are involved...I mean, that's why you're crying so much over this guy, right? But the truth is, you need to step out of the circle and take a look at the real picture. Ask yourself what you want from this guy and what makes you happy when you're with him, etc. If he can't provide you what you need emotionally, then maybe it's really time to move on. Good luck hun!
2006-11-17 08:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by pangfvlx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there are any kids involved but if there isn't I would definitely hold off. I don't know how long you have been married or how long you dated before you married your husband but no husband that loves his wife would ever tell her something so hurtful like "you know i never loved you". You really need to talk to him and ask him if there is no love anymore because if there isn't on his part you can always move on to a happier stage in yourlife...singlehood and rediscovering love again. Keep the faith and stay strongminded and eat! You need energy and you need to stay healthy...if this guy does not appreciate your worth there is someone out there that will. I am sorry you are going through this
2006-11-17 08:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by jayjay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry he is acting like that. i was going to say that maybe reason why he was acting like that on your wedding day was because he was upset his family was not there however after you said what happend on your b day i kinda think he really has some issues...i understand if he didnt have the money for a gift...but a card can be bought for .50-.99 cents. He could have wrote you a letter thats free. You already said you have spoke with him about this and he gave you that lame remark "life is not always a fairy tail" so you can either say "you need to change some stuff or im out" or you can just leave, if he dont change this is how ur life will be...are you willing to live like that? Take care
2016-05-21 23:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't hard if you are with the right person and it looks like you are with the wrong guy... you may love him or think you do but if you would just come to terms that this mans not for you and get out there and find someone that will love you in a healthy normal way... not insults or cruel BS... You are allowing him to treat you this way and the only one that can look after you is YOU.
He sounds like a real piece of crap... move on girl... life is to short to waste you time on someone like that...
2006-11-17 08:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is hard work, but i don't think that is your problem.
i think that you should talk to someone, a councilor, a friend , a minister, or whoever you feel that you could trust. i would choose the councilor. they can give you someone objective that you can talk to. they won't tell you what to do, but they will help you come up with answers on your own.
no offense, but your husband sounds like an ***. why are you still with him? you deserve to have happiness as much as any body else. it doesn't sound as if you've been happy for a while.
how long has it been like this? marriage is supposed to be a partnership. both of you trying to make it work.. when you love someone you want them to be happy. you care for them.
i'm sorry, but i think you might need to rethink your situation.
good luck and i hope that things work out for you.
2006-11-17 08:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are insensitive. Your husband is a jerk! He is wrong to say that to you. Why did he marry you? He definitely has problems. Can you make it on your own? If you can ,let him go. Maybe he will see your importance and come running back. If not try asking him to sit and listen to you without interrupting while you explain how you feel.Ask if there is some one else? Often men do things like this to get out of a relationship.
2006-11-17 08:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by Sugar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His behavior will continue until it hurts him more to continue the behavior than it does to stop it. That's basic human conditioning. So you have provide him with some stiff consequences if you want it to stop. I suggest you tell him he either stops being inconsiderate of you or you will file for a divorce. That will get his attention. Tell him you've already gone to see a lawyer - even if you haven't. It won't stop on it's own and it's doubtful he will stop himself unless there is a very good reason to. Good luck.
2006-11-17 08:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋