I'm at my wits end with my husband and our sex life. He's a wonderful man but sexually he does nothing for me. He tries so hard and I know he loves me but I'm left so frustrated after we have sex, and he cums so much that I'm laying in a puddle of yuck that's everywhere. I'm at the point now where I don't even want sex with him anymore. He tells me that I can get satisfied by other men and we do have an open marriage (don't judge me, just help me out here) but I'm in love with him............ just not with having sex with him. What am I supposed to do about this?
2006-11-17 08:25:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've tried just about everything, and we've been together for 8+ years so please don't assume that I'm new to the conceipt of being married.
2006-11-17 08:52:21 · update #1
Keep loving him, and seek sexual and marital counseling. If you love him, and he loves you, sex shouldn't be THAT important. It does play a big role in your marriage if you make it that way, or it can be a small role and you can be happy in your overall marriage.
Seek counseling or professional advice.
2006-11-17 08:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by the_proms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is sacred.
Sleeping around with other men wont make your marriage better it will destroy it... Try to make things better, dont just run away from the problem by sleeping or messing around with other men.
there are plenty of sex therapists out there, go on the internet and find them!! There is hope to be satisfied sexually with your hubby, try bringing in fresh ideas such as diff positions, toys,lubes, etc. the bond between a husband and wife is like no other that is why it is sacred, seeing other people will ruin the purpose.
2006-11-17 08:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if there weren't problems else where in your marriage you would be turned on by him. Coming from a woman who could never imagine not being attracted to my man.....I would fight for it...see couples counsling...and it is soooo cute that he is trying. He really wants you to want him and that is what a REAL man does!! Every man comes everywhere....thats a part of life....just have him point it in a direction that it isn't all over you...or have him wear a condom so that it is caught and not going all over the place. I am not judging you at all, but this is something you both need to work on together...your not going to start wanting him IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. Something is making you not want him and want something different....and you either know what that is or need to find out what it is and put a stop to it.
2006-11-17 08:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kidding, right?! First, if blame must be laid...step up to the plate and accept some. Because, honey, you have a lot to do with him bringing you pleasure. You said yourself, he tries hard...well, have you helped give him some direction? Cripes, it isn't quantum physics...and he isn't a psychic. HELP HIM HELP YOU!!! I'm assuming you know what works for you? If not, you need to spend some quality time alone with yourself and find out what yanks your chain. If you can get yourself off, there is no reason he can't do the same. If he just doesn't have the endurance, help him out! There's tons of books on the subject. Great lovers are NOT born, they are created. You can have great sex with the man whom YOU say you LOVE! :) Now how great would that be? HTH. Feel free to contact me through my posted email if you have more questions. Later, Matt.
2006-11-17 08:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by adtmatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's the "mess" that's grossing you out! Not the hubby. I highly recommend "water sports"! Have you tried having sex in the tub, or in the shower. The water can add a whole dimension to your stimulation, and you won't be worried about any "puddles".
2006-11-17 08:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by txmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea... id be a little grossed out too by the mount messuvious coming outta him... That happened to me once, and i thought the guy was PEEing on me... NASTY! anyways, I def dont judge you, Ours is similar! But why not try other things.... Other positions, Other toys, Other devices... I know that the most amazing sex I had with my hub is while he is sitting in a chair and Im riding him like its goin outta style. So FUN... and feels great!
2006-11-17 08:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys should buy a book on positions, or you can roll play. Also, for me, being on top is about the only way that is at least remotely satisfying. Maybe you should try it!
2006-11-17 08:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i don't like it when my husband c ums in me either but all you should do is use a condom so the condom can have all of that nasty ol slimy stuff instead of you. shoot if my husband said i could have sex with someone else and he would not mind honey there is this white/italian cop who is crazy about me and i would ride the night away on top of him.
2006-11-17 08:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have heard that in therapy, they recommend that the two of you lay in bed and only touch each other, but do not consume the act... this actually works, say you do it for a couple of weeks and see what happens; either way you cant loose
2006-11-17 08:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u just need to have an open marriage....if its agreed by both of you i dont see what the problem is...
i never liked cheating...but telling ur spouse before u cheat is different....just make sure not to get emotionally attached to anyone else...
2006-11-17 08:28:46 · answer #10 · answered by In love with love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋