I am dealing with a very difficult issue. My "boyfriend" and I have been having severe relationship problems. They've escalated for well over a year now. We are facing eviction from our apartment (that we just moved into) and I don't want to stay with him anymore. However, I am afraid of what he might do when I tell him when we get evicted that I am taking our two girls and leaving. I really don't want to go into a shelter with my girls and I don't have any close friends that I can stay with. I am looking into asking my parents for help even though we don't have a close relationship (and hoping they won't turn their backs on me). I know what I need to do but I have this fear. Fear of him, fear of what's to come, fear of raising my two girls by myself. I currently have a full-time job and I know deep down inside that I can make it on my own. I know that I deserve better than this. I know my girls deserve better than this. I can't really up and leave without him knowing since we have one car and he usually has it. I just need some words of encouragement to get me through this. Thanks so much!
2006-11-17 08:20:16 · 13 answers · asked by sunshine12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fear comes from feeling like you have no control. Take charge! You need to do it for your daughters.
Call your parents and explain the situation to them before you do anything else. I don't know your situation with them, but I'm sure they care about you and their granddaughters and wouldn't turn their back on you, especially if it's a dangerous situation. See if they can't pick you up and take you to their house. If you have to go to a shelter, do it. That's what they are there for. It would only be for a short time anyway, until you could get back up on your feet.
When you talk to your b/f, don't do it alone. Either have someone with you or do it in a public place. Take your own transportation there and leave by yourself. Let him know what's going on with the eviction and everything and that you're needing time on your own to get your head on straight.
You come across as a very strong and determined woman. Work off of that. Your daughters should be your first concern. And they will learn from your example on how to be a strong woman. You know you deserve better. You have a job and with a little time you'll have your own place to live. It make take time, but you will be able to do it. Don't let fear keep you back or make you weak.
God will watch over you. Ask Him for help, you can go wrong with His help.
Good luck, prayers go out to you.
2006-11-17 08:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your baby girls should be enough encouragement for you. You need to worry about their well being. If you have a full time job, why hasnt your rent been paid? You need to get over your fears. I don't know if you believe in god, but pray and ask for strength and guidance. You'll get through this. Just make a plan to get out and stick with it. Stay strong sweetie! If not for yourself, for your children. You deserve far better than what your childrens father is giving you!
2006-11-17 16:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to look out for you and your girls!! Do what is right with you in your heart and pray about it....God will protect you while you are working on whats right! You are on the right track to call your parents....they won't turn their back on you when you tell them whats wrong and that you are afraid what your boyfriend will do to you and your girls if you leave....its a parents instinct to take care of their children. You will have enough eventually to get another car....don't let that stop you from leaving and being happy and getting your life back together. You know deep down that you can make it and with the love from your girls and the love and support from your parents you can do anything! Trusting in the Lord will make everything possible...all you have to do is ask for his help and he will be there to make things right!! Good Luck to you!
2006-11-17 16:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANYONE is capable of doing anything that one feels the desire and/or need to do. Put your mind to it. And put your plan in motion!
I was literally in a cold sweat of fear throughout the entire day, knowing that my husband was to be served with divorce papers at a designated time. It was literally a day of hell.
To my shock, it actually happened with no fanfare whatsoever.
When I lied down to sleep that nite, I was consumed with an incredible feeling of warmth, and felt that I could tackle anything that came along for myself and 4 children. Not being a religious person, I accepted that feeling as I had made the right decision!
That was a good many years ago. And I've NEVER looked back!
2006-11-17 16:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? I am surprised to hear that you know what you deserve. A lot of women in your situition don't feel they deserve better. You are one step ahead already and I hope that you do find safty and comfort staying with your parents. I'm glad you're thinking about the safety of yourself and especially your daughters. That's a true mother and woman. Good luck and take care.
2006-11-17 17:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by pangfvlx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A shelter is the BEST place to be if you are afraid of him. They can help keep him away so he can't "do" anything.
You DO deserve better, a happy loving life with your girls, and maybe a loving man someday. But you need to get it right for yourself first.
I'M on your side, hang in there hon!
2006-11-17 16:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard situation that you are in. Sounds like some abuse. You really need to get out before is gets worse. Do you go to church, there might be people there that can help you out, maybe with a shelter. I know our church will help people out with various arrangements. But if all else fails contact your parents and move in with them. They make take pleasure in getting to know you again as well as their grandchildren. You can do this. Keep your chin up!!!
2006-11-17 16:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lori C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate questions like this they hit to lcose to home you should never fear anyone please go to a shelter my sister wa sin the same place and she stay he end up kill her and leave her 2 children with out a mom any where is better than stay there good luck
2006-11-17 16:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to get over this fear because you have two girls the need you, don't let fear be reason why you can't be happy. go and seek help from your parents if they know the you really need help they won't turn the back to you
2006-11-17 16:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to swallow your pride and seek help in a shelter - temporarily. They can come and get you in many instances.There are many avenues out there if you search, but first get out and take your kids with you. Maybe your parents would help with the kids while you get settled? Social services are there for the taking, church groups also help, legal aid is available. Take a deep breath.......
2006-11-17 16:26:59 · answer #10 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋