My husband wastes all $ he gets his hands on crack. I need to get out, but when he's thought I was leaving before, he beat me and left me stranded at home with no $$ and no phone. I havem a 3yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter. I need the quickest, safest, cheepest way to leave.
2006-11-17 08:07:57 · 25 answers · asked by Krystal M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to a shelter for abused women. They will not let your husband in there at all and can advise you on steps to take, but you have to be committed. You can be wishy washy and going back and forth. You have to know you 100% are ready to get away for good.
2006-11-17 08:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by Stevie 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you do not have family to go to, then go to your local Woman's Crisis Center IMMEDIATELY! This man is on crack and could flip out on you AGAIN or seriously harm you and your kids. You must get away! DO NOT WAIT!!!
Do not worry about money for a divorce right now. Worry about yours and your child's safety! Divorce can come later and is merely just a legal issue. The situation you are in now is a MUCH much bigger issue that you have to tackle. If you feel he will not allow you to freely leave, then call your local police department BEFORE you put your plan into action. They can make sure you get out safely. Make a plan. Keep the plan. God Bless and Good Luck!
2006-11-17 08:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa Dagger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the answer to that... You need to go to a womans abuse shelter that will not let him in and then there are reduce or free attorneys that will do your divorce.... Get a restraining order on him also and if you do that the judge will give you custody of the kids and the free attoneys will do it for free for sure if you are scared of him and think he will hurt you then they will help... I know this for a fact I just went through the same stuff the crack and everything and now me and my kids are starting on the right track away from him and his drugs...
2006-11-17 09:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by melissa_spear2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iv'e been in this same situation and it's scary .The hardest part is when people tell you to just leave,like it's that easy!!!!!The most important thing is to have everything planned out.I mean to the smallest detail,and plan for setbacks,like have PlanA PlanB......You definetley need to have some money or family or friends to help you.With two small children you need to accept help where you can.I hate to say this because it's not the best but shelters will help.They will also help you get on your feet and with child care.If there is a chance he'd come looking for you in anger,and I suspect he will from what you said,shelters will help to keep your location hidden.Restraining orders are good,they dont necessarily work,but its good to have on record.Those babies of yours need to be protected,and living with an addict puts you at a huge risk of losing them forever.I dont know if you've ever dealt with CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES,but I have,and trust me they will turn your world upsidedown.Good luck.I truly hope you get out.I'll pray for you.
2006-11-17 08:40:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any family, relatives, or friends willing to accept you?? I know these are obvious choices as well as a womans shelter. Call the police, get him arrested, and file a restraining order and kick his a** out the house. I can only pray that things work out for you, hell if you where here in Saint Louis, I'd take you in. The thing is you have more power than you think. You can't worry about a divorce until you get away from him. Safety first.
I'll pray for you and you can always email me if you want to chat.
2006-11-17 08:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your situation but am happy that you have decided to leave.
If you would like to talk in person, email me and I will call you. I know some of what you are going through as I was homeless at one point in my life.
Because I don't know what city you are in it is hard to provide specifics.
In any case, I think secretly leaving is a great idea. Don't tell him.
There must be social services you can contact. I would start with The Salvation Army, United Way and Goodwill. If you were to contact your city government, they may be able to forward you to the right organization.
In Toronto we have the telephone number 211. This number (United Way) is answered by a person that knows every social service organization in the city (actually country). It is awesome and free.
My suggestion is to secretly make a plan and secretly execute it.
Once again email me if you want me to call you (I use Skype and it is free for me to call anywhere in North America). Don't forget to tell me when to call.
Good luck!
2006-11-17 08:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by garyedwardjohnston 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get him arrested and locked up, and during the time he is locked up, and while he is waiting to have bond posted, move out to a shelter (hope there is one in your city), at least in a shelter, he will not have access, you and the kids will be safe, and you will have some time to plan your next move, and all shelters have assistance for people in your situation. If arrested, this will be to your advantage when it comes to custody, but if you don't what him arrested (and some women don't, but I don't know why), then move out when he is at work, but give yourself as much time as possible. The plus side to arrest, is that the police can take him to jail, and then the police can take you and your kids to a shelter. Good luck.
2006-11-17 08:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go to a shelter. Take your child and find a shelter. They will help you with whatever you need. You can file for divorce yourself. Just go down to your courthouse and they have all the forms you need to file. They charge to process the paperwork. On that paperwork you can fill out whether you want custody of the children, material things, and anything else specific. Unfortunately if he wants to fight you over anything that is where it becomes costly. There are help for people with low or no income. But being that he has the problems you mentioned you will have no problems. Any judge will grant you your divorce and custody. First thing is get you and your child away from him immediately.
2006-11-17 08:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by sxyalmond 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call a women's shelter as fast as you can and they will get you out of that environment. The kids and you both need out now. They will take care of it for you and he can not come around you at all. You have to get out of there now cause if you don't and the police get him, they will take you and the kids too. The kids will end up in a foster home.
2006-11-17 08:13:08 · answer #9 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In addition to a women's shelter there are often free legal services available where an agency will set you up with a lawyer that will take your case pro bono. A women's shelter should have the agency contact number.
2006-11-17 08:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋