just wondering some opinions,... if you have nothing NICE to say, don't reply !!! I will report u!!?

Question

Ok,
Well first and foremost. I have cheated on my husband, and he knows this. He has forgiven me. I slept with his brother when I was 17. (we pin it on me being young and dumb.) I also slept with one of my brothers friends, his cousin, and another guy I barley knew. I haven't got feelings for any of these men, and it's like I just look for sex. I'm some what older now, and havent cheated in quite sometime. But I still i guess "look" for men, to sleep with. I really have to hold myself back. I don't want to cheat anymore. And I just look for the "first time thrill" of it all. I haven't slept with any of them just once, they have all been multipule times...
Are any of you this way... or do I really have a problem?

SERIOUS answers only please.
AND please be nice!!

i don't understand why someone gave me a thumbs down. its a real answer. and its a real problem!

some of you ask where i am spiritually, i go to church, and i pray for God to help me EVERY day!!
I really want to stop and to get help, but where do you go when you live in a small town with out being humiliated?
I live with humiliation and shame EVERY day....

Also, I am not looking for sympathy

Answer 1

Sweetheart...
You are looking for something that you aren't getting from your husband.
I truely do think that you are trying to make things better, or else you wouldn't be looking for answers. Yes, I think this is a true problem. Talk to a pastor or something there in your town. It is only up to you who can make this better. I hope that your husband sticks with you through it all, because he really does, sound like a great guy. And the fact that you are being honest with him means, that you are trying to make things better. I hope for the sake of your family, you get everything straightened out.
This is a lack of attention from your husband, I think... or something you aren't getting from your marraige.

Good Luck and May God Bless you Both

Answer 2

I sort of know how you feel. I have that impulse a lot too, even when I am in a relationship. I have never cheated though, I worry to much about other peoples feelings.. When I am single I go a little wild like that sometimes. My honest opinion is either you need to seek counseling to try and get your impulses under control or you need to leave your husband. It would be less painful for you to leave him than to have you cheat on him again sometime in the future. I am not trying to be mean that is just my honest opinion.

I don't condone cheating but I also don't condemn you because I know how strong the impulses can be. If you MUST cheat do it with someone that has no affiliation with him at all. None of his friends or family members. Nobody he knows. You would be rubbing it in his face more that way.

You have a good man. I know that because most men would drag you through the nastiest, messiest divorce after what you did. Nurture your relationship. Try a fantasy scenario with your husband. Go separately to a bar or something, have some drinks, exchange glances with one another from across the room. Go "pick him up" ask if he wants to get a room or something. Drive to a hotel separately, have sex, leave separately. You go home after him and when you get home, both of you act like nothing ever happened. Maybe that will get your spontaneous itch out.

Hope that helped.

Answer 3

I am not that way. I am not being mean but you really need some counseling. This is not normal behavior. I don't know how you are spiritually. If you know God at all I would recommend praying for help or if you know someone that lives a good christian life go to them in confidence and talk to them about this. First of all you have to want to help your self. You know this isn't right or you wouldn't be asking. How would you feel if your husband would do this to you? That is a terrible pain to endure for him. I wish you the best and I hope that you make the right choice.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a sort of addiction. Look in surrounding towns for a counselor to help you figure out the root of the problem, doesn't have to be in your hometown. Maybe you have underlying insecurity issues which make you seek out attention from these men. If you want to save your marriage, you should swallow your pride and get some help. It sounds like your husband really loves you to still be willing to work on your marriage after all that. I hope you know how fortunate you are. Good Luck.

Answer 5

You are asking for people's opinions and you will get mixed responses some will be negative. Everyone has the right to their opinion. That doesn't mean you have to listen to negative responses. You can report negative responses but sometimes Yahoo doesn't take care of it.
Anyway, you have to think about your husband. What if your husband did the same to you? How would you feel? Your husband says he forgives you but do you really think he forgot about it? If you love your husband, then you need to get some counseling because there may be some underlying issues to why you're behaving like this. Maybe you can go to counseling together. Going to counseling proves that you are willing to save your marriage.

Answer 6

I understand where you're coming from. My husband is sort of in the same boat as you are except that he doesn't do other women. He does other stupid things and the reason why he does it is because of the "THRILL" or the "ADRENALINE RUSH" he gets from it. It's almost like a drug. I don't want to say it's a disorder but also it can possibly be to. The way he's trying to overcome that is by taking a look at our relationship and see how much it means to him. By seeing what we have, it motivates him to stop. I know it sounds lame but you need to think that if you really love your man, you need to use that as a motivation to battle your demons. Best of luck to you dear!

Answer 7

A friend of mine had this problem. You aren't alone. You need to be careful though~ there are too mnay things floating around out there to gamble your health away on a whim. A counseler could help I think. It helped my friend. It is kind of like AA only for sex addicts. People laugh but this a serious problem. I wish you luck because I know you aren't happy about this. Ask your GP if you have too but find someone who knows about sexual problems and addictions that you trust (like a doctor) so that you can love and live freely without having to follow these compulsions.
Good luck hon! My friend today is married and happy so it is possible for you to figure this out too.

Answer 8

I understand what it can be like in a small town... however, you can get a referral from your doctor there to a psychologist in a neighbouring small city - I really think professional help can assist you a great deal. What you are doing, and thinking about, has absolutely nothing to do with sex - it's in your personality and character, and that is best handled by a professional counsellor.
I wish you luck, and hope you have your husband's support.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have a problem that needs professional help. This could be an addiction or a disorder. Sometime people have problems controlling impulses in there brain- such as gambling and drinking but it can also be related to sex and even sometime self harm. You need to talk to someone and get help. It might not be your fault, you may need medication to control the urges.

Answer 10

I think that possibly, you have a self esteem issue. Is this a way to get the attention that you need? It is good that you admit that you have a problem with this. I would seriously talk to someone about this very soon. I really hope that you can get this figured out. Your not only hurting yourself, but your husband too.I feel sorry for your husband. Not only are you hurting him, but his friends and relatives are too. Your not the only one at fault here.