Should i stay or should i go?

Question

Should i stay or should i go?
I have been married for nine years since then I moved out because I was out of control due to my drinking and being abuses. me and my wife were still seeing each other and she was ,all for this .I’ve done this because I wanted to save our marriage I am now a recovery alcoholic have been for six months . Since then she has meant someone. at first he was just a friend then found out they are involved. They have only been seeing each other about five months that’s what she is telling me, since then he has moved in doesn’t work and collects SSI I feel he is using her, he is 37 and has lived with mom till wife came along I have ask her does she love him, she tells me it’s none of my business We also have a 8 yr old daughter and a two yr old son. Which my daughter misses her father very much and wants him to come home This guy is also an alcoholic by what he has told me. I love my wife very much and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do 4 her all i hear is the pas

Answer 1

well if she is seeing another man then get a divorce and take her to court over the child custody..you may have to pay child support but in the end she will probably divorce you to marry the other man.

Answer 2

I know what u are talking about for abuse. I was too abuse in a relationship. WE are now working it through, but trust me u are at the wrong and not her. She got in the other relationship out of sorrow. The womens heart is torn up. She loved u so much she gave it all and u gave her nine years in which she dealt with a drunk and an abuser. I am not talking bad about u actually I am telling u congrats on recovering and taking the right path. Don't let ur wife move on so quickly giver her reasons to fall in love with u again. The love is still there it is just hidden. Waht got me to talk to my man again is he stepped up and was a man. He helped me on my bills bought me floweers, sent a simple note to me when he knew I was having a bad day. Took me to dinner. Make the girl feel special

Answer 3

Don't take this the wrong way but I think your wife is addicted to losers, once you got clean she didn't want you anymore and moved on to another drunk..... surely you can see that.
Drunks can get sober but stupid lasts forever and that is what she sounds like to me.
The best you can do is see your kids and be agood, no a great dad. They are the future, she is the past, make sure they are safe with the SSI drunk guy....what is she thinking?
Good luck to you and congrats on the soberness, don't let this put you over the edge, it will get easier.
P>S> you know the guy she is with is a grade A loser, it won't last....you think long and hard when she comes beggin you back if that is what is best for YOU and your kids.....

Answer 4

Well, you can tell her what you feel about the relationship and ask her if you could prove to her that you've changed. If she says no, I'm sorry, but she's moved on, and you would need to move on too. As far as your daughter, you could try to work out a different arrangement as far as visitation goes if things don't work out with your ex. If you can't move on, all you can do is just pray that she sees this boyfriend for who he is and what he is (an alcoholic) and that the relationship ends. Maybe then, you can see about picking up your relationship again.

Answer 5

That's a sad story. Sounds like she's moved on and it doesn't sound like it's a better situation. Because of your past you will need to be understanding about this. I say try to go back to her, see if she'll drop that guy so you all can be a family again. It will take a while but you guys can be happy again if you work on things. Sounds like you've already made the first step by getting help. Good luck.

Answer 6

I doubt your wife will ever truly forgive you for the abuse and alcoholism. She may be so damaged she can never have a normal relationship again. She's angry with you and isn't thinking clearly. An answerer, perhaps several, before me said you should divorce and seek custody, I agreee with them. Your wife is creating a bad home environment and should be pressured to either clean herself up and the man she's with, or not willingly allow him near you and her 's children. If she cleans up, I support joint custody.

Answer 7

you should stay.. you should fight for whats yours.. without hurting the children obviously.. in my opinion, dont get me wrong, but i think your wife is just compensating for whats missing inher life right now.. you.. doesnt it seem a little fishy that she happens to pick another alcoholic?? in the big picture and looking in from the outside, i'd say shes gonna end up coming back to you regaurdless this is just her way of feeling sorry for hereslf.. strange i know.. you need to prove something to her.. if you truely love your family, you'll figure it out, goodluck to you and your family.. god bless<33

Answer 8

i understand this my mom lived like this for 30 years. and still liveing the same. anyway i think you should show her that you still care. be there for her anything she need help with it this will show her that you still care. but if she ask you for money tell what is it she needs and bye it for her so she can not bye something for the other man with your money. write a letter to her telling how sorry you are and that to give another change to be a husband and tell that you promiss to change

Answer 9

Keep trying don't divorce her yet! I would find a way for you 2 to go to marriage counseling. You were that bad person but now you want to change show her! If you get a divorce add a forced marriage counseling thing to stall !

Answer 10

You should follow your "gut", not your heart. She needs to make her own mistakes and learn from them. You could help her by being a good friend to her. Sounds like she will need support when this "new" guy falls under.