My husband has never had a great sex drive since we were dating.
it got a little better right before our wedding and last year for like 3 months he wanted sex all the time which was fine with me!! Now again he is fine not having sex at all!!!!! I feel like It's my fault. Whe we do have sex he doesn't come and loses his erection. What can I do?
2006-11-17 06:46:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
Simply you've been unlucky and evidently he wasn't your kindred spirit! When we are young I think it's not easy to find, and that often brings some dissatisfaction in the couple then. Sex and money just are the main separation reasons in the world!
It's not your fault because lost of libido and erective problems are typically male disease and failure.
2006-11-17 06:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by whole_feelings 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have heard this same situation before. And I'm sorry to bring this up, but since no one else has yet: You and your husband have to consider the possibility that he is gay. This is what happens when a gay man doesn't want to admit what he's really feeling, and is ashamed, trying to make the best of it by hiding from himself in a marriage to a woman. He thinks everything will be fine. But as you see, it is only temporary. Obviously, there is nothing physically wrong with him, if he had several months of good performance around the time of the wedding. The sooner you both get this out in the open, the sooner you can both get on with your lives. What's his family like? Any brothers or sisters? Any signs of gender problems there? You may need counseling, but don't waste your time unless he's going to be honest.
2006-11-17 07:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lorenzo Steed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to fulfill his husbandly duties more often. Guys are dumb (I am a guy) and need direct requests.
As with many men these days, he may be masturbating too much to online pornography , in chat rooms ( or with a webcam, yikes). That makes him "spent" and now he has too much performance anxiety because he's not ready to ejaculate (It takes 3 to 4 days to recharge the libido).
Ask him point blank if he is masturbating to the internet alot and get it out in the open; say that you aren't getting all of your sexual needs met and that he needs to fulfill his promise to take care of you, when you took your vows, and to give you the opportunity to take care of him.
Tell him he needs to limit his masturbating to once per week or once every 14, that seems fair. Sex is part of marriage and he needs to stop letting in the 3rd party, in this case, porn. But I wouldn't get too out of sorts with it, 95% of men masturbate and the other 5% lie that they don't. This continues until a man gets to be about 100 years old, anyway. Ha.
If the above isn't true, make sure he gets a physical and also checked out for depression.
If he is on antidepressants, he will have trouble having orgasm, so then he will need an Rx for Levitra or Viagra. The point is not to have him get an erection, the point is to push him over the edge of orgasm.
Finally, maybe he's not as turned on with you, you'll need to spice things up a bit. Make him take you out to dinner, then hold off on the sex until the very last item of the evening. Make sure the kids have a babysitter offsite from your home ! Also, you can "schedule " sex in the marriage. Sometimes the plans can be really erotic as you both look forward to it.
PS. If you have put on weight, lose it, if you need to go shop for a sexy new cocktail dress, do it ! If you need new makeup and a new hairstyle, get them. Make him pay for it and tell him why you're buying these things (and make sure he knows he should NEVER complain about a woman taking care of her looks. She does it for herself and for her husband).
PPS . If he has put on weight, tell him to lose it too. You guys can start going on walks together to drop the pounds.
GOOD LUCK. Man of 16 years married and counting.
2006-11-17 07:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing Absolutely nothing,It's not your fault.
I'm 24old married to a beautiful wife but for a month now I don't feel like having sex AT ALL....I don't know why but I just don't
it could be stress or many other things
but I think he'll be ok and you'll have a great sex again
:)
2006-11-17 06:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
His testosterone count is probably low and a simple blood test will confirm this. If so, he can get a shot every couple of weeks or just wear a patch. Since you didn't mention his age this is only a guess, but it's a pretty sure thing if he's over forty.
2006-11-18 02:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's odd. Do you talk to him about it? Maybe he's having performance anxiety. Really - I just started getting Cosmo - My husband and I read it together. There's all kinds of stuff concerning sex in it and we read them and then talk about some of it and also try some of it. It's been fun being able to discuss what we like/ dont like. Has given us both ideas! Another idea is to watch a porn movie together but I'm not really into that myself.
2006-11-17 06:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start with a complete physical there are health conditions that can cause low sex drive or impotence. like high blood pressure or diabetes. Before you start blaming yourself have the doctor check him over and do some lab work.
2006-11-17 06:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by bramblerock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe go to a sex therapist or just to get away on a mini vacation and try to connect with each other, maybe that will help.
2006-11-17 06:49:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself. Many men and women go through this. It has nothing to do with their partner but is a chemical imbalance.
Discuss this with your doctor and see what type of treatment options there are.
2006-11-17 06:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by JW 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use yahoo chat to find yourself a secret lover.
Yahoo! Messenger > Romance > By Location > Your State
2006-11-17 07:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋