The majority of my friends were males before I got married. Me and my husband have been married for little of a year and half, he decided to do some snooping around the house and went thru some boxes that have been stored away for years. Well he found pictures of me and my friends and now he is all mad because I kept them around. I explained to him that those were old friends nothing happened between us, and those were just old pictures that were in a box that were packed probably when I moved the last time. Well now he is telling me that I fu*&ed these men and that I must have kept those pictures for a reason. I told him that those were old friends that I knew before I meet him and that is all, just old friends. He is all mad at me know, what do I do now?
2006-11-17 06:42:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anilop 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You tell him that if he doesn't trust you then what the heck is he still doing there? If you have explained to him that those are just old photos of old friends and that you are going to keep them then he should be OK with that. He sounds to be a person of little self worth if he is mad over a picture. He should have enough self confidence to be happy that you think enough of old friends to keep pictures of them. If you throw those pictures away or get rid of them, then you are telling him that his behavior over something like this is acceptable. You need to let him know that that is your life before him and those are memories that you would like to keep and are going to do so. If he has a problem with it, then maybe he isn't ready to be in any kind of relationship.
If you don't keep them then he will do this same thing to you every time he has an issue over some silly thing that he is turning into something more than it is.
You need to reassure him that you love him, but that this sort of behavior WON'T be tolerated.
If he continues being angry over it, then I would suggest you keep calm, stand your ground, and let him know that you do want to keep the photos and the memories of your past life.
Good Luck
Judy
2006-11-17 06:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look at the pictures then place them back like you found them. You could confront him and he will tell you that he didn't realize that they were there and you still would not know if he was being honest. I would keep quite about the pictures and simply say , let's clean out the drawers and make room for the towels today. Then when you go to do this with him there, you will get your answer either he will say ok and you will find them together or he will make a mad dash to hide them in another location before you get in there. That is how you get your answer without having to confront him.
2016-05-21 23:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to grow up, that these were just friends, i am sure you had other male friends when you met him right ask him whats the difference between them and these guys in the old pictures? if they have been in boxes so long is it important for you to keep them? if not toss them and tell him to chill out. marriage is about comprimise. if the pictures are too important to toss then explain why. as long as there was no relationship with any of the guys in the pictures then it shouldnt really be a big deal...he has no right to get mad at your past. my husband did some weird things before i even knew him...but that was in his past...so i have no reason to accuse him of anything crazy. neither does your husband.
2006-11-17 06:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by Jessy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some trust issues. My husband has some pics of friends(girls) that were his friends and nothing more. But I understand this and don't say anything. I don't know if you should throw them away, I mean...they were a part of your life and you might have some good memories of them(not sexually). But then, you want to make your husband happy. You need to sit him down and tell him they were your friends, nothing more, and ask why he is getting jealous over your past. And why would he care if you slept with them, past is past. He has some insecurity issues is all I know. I cannot tell you what to do from there, just wait on his response. Good luck! :)
2006-11-17 06:49:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh c'mon, even if they WERE pictures of the guys you dated - so what??? You had a life before you met him, and he can't ask you to erase, forget and throw away everything that had happened before - be it family, friends, lovers or experiences. I bet you he will calm down after a little while; he's being highly irrational and unreasonable. If he doesn't, you might have to get used to him being a control freak.
I have kept photos of most guys I had dated before my marriage (except for one who ended up stalking me - I didn't want any reminders of him around, so I threw away all his photos); my past and my experiences had made me who I am now, there's no getting away from that. My husband has no problem with it. We trust each other completely.
2006-11-17 06:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds insecure. There's not really much you can do. You may want to ask him why he thinks that you slept with these guys. Maybe he's been cheated on in the past and having old pictures around possibly stirs up painful memories for him. Wait until he is calm, then talk to him about it. You need to find out why this came up or it could cause some major problems in your relationship.
2006-11-17 06:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by tipper 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Don't get upset with him. Just remain calm and keep telling him the truth that these were just friends. If you choose, ask him if it would make him feel better if you got rid of the pictures. Tell him you love him and that he is your only love. Ask him not to let jealousy over imagined relationships affect what a great life you have together.
2006-11-17 06:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a few issues. If they were not old boyfriends and you have not kept in contact with them, WHO THE HELL SHOULD CARE? There could be some concern if you had kept in touch with them. It makes things look fishy. Overall though, he needs to grow up and smell the coffee!
2006-11-17 11:36:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That exact same thing happened to me!!! I am sorry that you have to go through that. After my husband did the same thing, he pretty much wanted me to throw them away I refused and told him that they are my picuture i want to keep them as well as keep them as friend. After awhile he let it go. You need to do the same thing, don't let him tell you what you can or can not do. Just be assertive you own you life not him.... It gets hard after your married cuz people tend to get too much into your personal space. Just be honest and don't let the little things go they will add up to big things later and then one day you will blow up.....have a good day and good luck!!!
2006-11-17 06:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie Denise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the pictures to a relative to store for you. Don't get rid of them. He's being insecure and will never agree that they were just friends. Save your marriage, but save the pictures.
2006-11-17 07:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋