My friend is having a relationship with a woman who is currently married and has two daughters. She is having sex with him. Their relationship has been going on for 3 months now and they are emotionally and physically connecting and they both claim they are so happy. My friend keeps saying he knows the right thing to do is to break it off but thats all he says and he still keeps doing it and seeing her. Lately me and my wife have been hanging out with them and we are having them over for dinner on Saturday. Are we contributing to her cheating and their adultry? Should we not be getting together with them while they are having their fling? Is it immoral or unethical for my wife and I to be having them over as a couple when she is still married and has a husband. I am not sure what to do. Someone tell me
2006-11-17 06:31:44 · 24 answers · asked by eastwood1870 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is wrong. You shouldnt hang out with them if you know it is wrong. You should not have them over for dinner, because you are contributing to their infidelity.
2006-11-17 06:34:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I for one do NOT believe in cheating at all, there is NO excuse for it. You say that he is your friend, then be a friend to him and tell him to stop doing this. If he didn't already know that she was married, that would be one thing, be told and then end it right then and there. BUT he does know that she is. So they are both in the WRONG. How would he like it if his wife (if he had one)was to be doing him the same way as she is doing her husband? I don't think he would like it at all. She does not love either of the two guys, her husband or her boyfriend. If she did love her husband she would not be cheating on him. She is just using the boyfriend and that is all. She needs to learn what the word "love" really means. It sure don't mean cheating on someone. By you and your wife having them over for a meal and/or for entertainment, you are telling them both that it is ok for what they are doing...cheating!! If she is not happy at home with her husband, then she needs to file for a divorce from him and then he can get someone that deserves him better than her. By the way, has she ever brought her kids over to your house when him and her comes over? Well if not, she is putting him in front of her own kids and that is bull !!!!!!!! And if she does, then she is putting her kids threw stuff that she shouldn't. Neither one of them have any respect for their self or her husband or her kids. Personal I would not let them come over at all. And I would also let the husband know about them two as well. You don't have to tell him direct for him to find out. There is other ways to let him know what his so called wife is doing behind his back. Would you want to know if your wife was seeing another man? I sure would want to know if my man was seeing another woman. I do not believe in and will not share my man with any one peroid.
2006-11-17 15:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, its not unethical because its not against the law. Immoral, that is another matter.
However, if you are uncomfortable with having this couple in your home then do NOT have them over. You house, your rules. If you are against adulterous affairs, then by not having them over you are saying that you do not approve of such actions. The same could be true if you refused to meet them for dinner at a restaurant.
But if the woman is legally separated from her spouse it is not generally considered cheating. I mention that only because you didn't say if she was or not.
2006-11-17 14:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are uncomfortable with having the cheating spouse in your home, then stop inviting them over for dinners or get togethers.
What your friend and this woman does is their business, even though you feel it is wrong.
You need to let your friend know that their relationship and how it is conducted is none of your business, but since he let you know that she is married and you feel it is wrong of them to be in this affair until she ends with her husband, that you will have to back out of having dealings with them as a couple as it doesn't fair well, and makes it look as if you approve of what they are doing.
Just tell him that you still want him as a friend but that she is not welcome there as his woman as long as she is still married to someone else.
Other than that, it's not your place to say anything.
One thing that I do know, is that if she will cheat on her current man, she will cheat on the next one as well. A cheat is a cheat, and that's not saying much for what is going to happen if she becomes his wife. She will cheat on him as well.
Best of Luck,
J
2006-11-17 14:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God, just think how the hubby will feel whenever he does find out. Everyone knew that his wife was a cheating hussy, even considering having her and her 'lover' over for dinner.
It is immoral and unethical since you will be basically showing them that it is alright to have an affair. You will be encouraging them to continue it if you show them that it is acceptable.
If she is really so happy with him, why can't she leave her poor hubby?
2006-11-17 14:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are definately enabling your friend to do wrong. Put yourself in her husbands shoes..Ouch. If you believe what he is doing is wrong (which it obviously is..unless her hubby is ok with it) don't treat it as though its not. They are not dating obviously in my opinion dating leaves open the possablity of something more serious. How would you feel if your wife was cheating and the same friend invited her and her "fling" over for dinner. Its awful!! Get away from that situation and fast. There are a lot of hearts to be broken here especially with children involved.
2006-11-17 14:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Supa_Star124 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes- you are contributing to their cheating. By letting them into your house and letting her feel welcome as your friends' mate makes you a bad person too. You are supporting this by giving her the friendship you've given your friend. If i were you guys- i wouldn't let my friend come over with that lady because it's not a good example for your kids. If i were you- i'd sneak into her handbag and find out where she lives. Secretly call her husband and tell him that she's screwing around behind him. No matter what it is- your friend is doing something wrong and it has to stop. Think about it this way- what if it were the other way around? your friend knew that your wife was screwing around behind YOUR back and he's not telling you?? what would you think of him? I would cut the friendship from there. By finacee has a friend who does this alot. He has his "serious" fiancee and his other women on the side and he wants us to have dinner with them sometimes. I never agree to it though because it's wrong. My fiancee doens't think much of it he says it's not our business- it's his friends' problem but it is our problem because the way i look at it is- what if we go to a restaurant with one of his women he has on the side and his real Fiance happens to be there too- she will hate us for knowing and going along with it. I think you should not let your friend in your home with this woman- what if here husband follows her around sometime and finds out she hangs out with yuor friend at your house? he can really cause an emberrasing scene in your house and you really don't want that.
2006-11-17 14:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you used to have the husband and wife over before she went with your friend. If so you are not nice to the origional guy, he will hate you when he finds out what you did behind his back. Tell the wife to tell her husband so he can go make a new life for himself. Good Luck
2006-11-17 14:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not friends with this womens husband so your not betraying him... you don't know him... I would consider this wrong if the person that they are cheating on is a friend... I hope I am getting my point across... I would feel uncomfortable... like I'm aiding and abetting in this situation... you might want to tell your friend it makes you a little uneasy... and what would you do if the husband followed his wife to your house and there was and altercation... maybe even where there police has to called... let your concious be your guide on this one...
2006-11-17 14:41:53 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think of her children even if she is not.
Getting support from others only makes them blind to their betrayal of her family. If they think their friends think it's okay, then they can more easily fool themselves into thinking it's okay.
Tell your friend you don't want to be a part of this. Tell him to think about her family - her children. Even if she left her husband for him, she would still have contact with her husband because of their children. Her children will resent him and never fully accept him (even if they are grown).
If she can do this to her family - how much can she really offer to anyone else?
2006-11-17 14:43:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are helping them cheat. If anything....just have the friend over and tell him how wrong he is. That woman has a husband and children at home waiting on her.. don't make yourself as low as he is.
2006-11-17 14:35:48 · answer #11 · answered by Lori 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋