I am about 3 weeks pregnant and I am not sure what to do. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 26 and we have been dating for 2 years. I have a bachelor's degree and he has a master's, and we are financially stable. But I am afraid of how people may look at us because we are not married. I am afraid that I may end up just his "baby momma". Just want to know what others out there think.
2006-11-17 05:50:52 · 39 answers · asked by YAAAAAAAAA! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Yes I agree, Don't worry about what others think of you. This is your life and having a child is a wonderful thing! Let me also say Congradulations!
Now-a-days, marriage or not, it is not the big deal it used to be. I was 21 and my hubby (now) was 24. We were not married and ya know I coulda care less what others thought. We didn't get married until about 9 months AFTER the baby was born. Take your time & take things as the come and feel right. Try not to ever regret what you do.
Also look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. I know so many people who aren't married and have children, and so many of them truely believe that Goldie and Kurt did it the right way. It all depends on how YOU feel and what YOU want.
Good luck in what you decide!
2006-11-17 06:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't consider abortion. I have not met a woman yet who has had an abortion and not regretted it. My best friend couldn't even come to my baby shower last week because it was so close to the 3 year anniversary of her abortion.
I've been a single mom. My son is now 11. Single parenting is tough, but with your education it should be a lot easier for you than it was for me at 19. The financial part was the hardest. Being a mommy, single or otherwise, has it's rewards as well, and it's been WELL worth the struggles we've gone through. I couldn't imagine my life without my son.
I am also a birthmom! My daughter is now 10 years old and we have an open adoption. She was the flower girl in my wedding 4 years ago and I don't regret my decision at all. It was tough for the first few months, but I knew it was best for her, my son, and myself, and over time became easier. I don't have to live with the guilt of murdering my own child, yet I'm not financially or emotionally "responsible" for her, either. Adoption is the loving option if you decide not to keep your baby.
Even if you were married, relationships can go bad, and you would not only be his baby's momma, but his ex-wife, too, but there are worse things out there to be. Have you two talked about marriage? Don't do it just because of the baby, marriage should be based on love, not children, but if you had already been considering marriage, there is no reason not to go ahead and do it sooner instead of later if you are worried about how others see you. I wouldn't worry too much about that, however. In this day and age people just don't judge single moms like they used to. I was never made to feel uncomfortable about being a single mom by anyone outside my family.
2006-11-17 06:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by ACEmomof2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my story: me 24, bf 25. together 1 and a half years. not financially stable. me pregnant, tell bf, his first word: f**k. we talk, keep baby, tell parents: mine happy, his upset (he already has one that his parents have custody of). keeping it anyway. now almost a full year since i found out i was pregnant, i have a 3 month old son whom i love more than i could ever put into words. my bf is now my fiancee, and we still have problems but it has been a blessing to have my son. i am so glad i didnt get an abortion because i wouldnt know this little baby boy that i am holding as i am writing this. obviously, its up to the two of you, but i dont think you should not keep the baby because of what others' would think. it should be a decision that you make with your bf that you guys can live with. also, if you dont think you are ready you can also look into adoption.
2006-11-17 06:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been dating 2 yrs- has is ever talked marriage?? Is he marriage material?? You two are old enough= and don't think a baby will financially break you- since you are financially stable- you know how to manage- and budget- and you can do it- You should also talk w him- and see what he thinks- or wait a bit - and let the idea of having a baby soak in first- D
2006-11-17 06:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, marriage is not for everyone. My significant other and I have been together for 7 years and are expecting our fourth baby in May. We are completely devoted to each other, we just don't want that added piece of paper, it really does change things. Don't worry about what others think of you, worry about what you and your boyfriend want, that's all that matters at this point. If you can manage it, keep the baby, you will not regret the first smile, the first laugh, the first step, the first "Momm" and the list goes on. Think about both sides before you make a choice, but do what's right for YOU!
2006-11-17 05:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by justwondering 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 19 and my fiance is 21 and we aren't married! We got engaged while I was pregnant and well so far no plans for a wedding anytime soon! I don't think anyone should have to rush into marriage because of a baby, its not fair for anyone to have to feel so pressured! People are going to look at you regardless for something you have done or haven't done for the rest of your life! People are just judgemental when it comes to other individuals and the choices in life that they tend to make. People can criticize us because we aren't married, are young, etc...I dont care what people think because I am happy and so is my fiance and we have a beautiful baby girl! Dont let what other people think take control of your life! You are smart with all your education you'll put it to good use!! Good luck
2006-11-17 06:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by rkonkin226 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That baby is your flesh and blood and you shouldn't worry about what other people think. Once you have that child growing inside of you and you can feel it. It's a whole different thought process. Keep that baby. Don't worry about what other people think, the only thing that matters is what you think. I think you guys are more than ready to have this baby married or not. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and not married and i'm 22. Do what makes you happy not other people!!
Good luck!
2006-11-17 05:54:39 · answer #7 · answered by Shannon 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HEY THERES A REASON FOR EVERYTHING SOMETIMES IM SURE YOU ASK WHATS THE REASON AND NEVER GET A ANSWER BUT BABYS ARE GREAT AND THEY DID NOT ASK FOR YOU TO PLAY AND THERES ALWAYS THAT CHANCE OF BEING A MOMMY AND DADDY. AND IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS AND YOU CAN BE A WORKING WOMAN AND A MOMMY ITS THE BEST FUN YOUR HAVE ! EVEN IF YOU DO DECIDE TO GIVE THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION THEN THERES WAYS TO HAVE A OPEN ADOPTION IF THATS ONE REASON TO NOT RAISE A KID AND THIS MIGHT BE YOUR ONLY CHANCE, YOUR NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.. TALK TO A WOMENS CENTER AND THEY WILL GIVE YOU INFORMATION THAT BEST FITS YOUR SITUATION! AND WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK, THIS IS YOUR LIFE RIGHT??? YOUR NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO NOT BE MARRIED AND BE PREGNANT AND WILL NOT BE THE LAST.
2006-11-17 06:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should keep the baby. From the moment of conception, the baby is alive...it may not be called a baby but it is alive (and no i'm not some anti-abortion fanatic...it's just a fact that i know from studying biology but i do believe that abortion is morally wrong). Every human is a blessing and i don't think you should worry about what other people think....a baby is bigger than all of that. Good luck and i hope you keep the baby.
2006-11-17 06:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by actressinthemaking2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are "ready" to have a baby (with or without him!) then keep your baby. If you are not then you should consider adoption. I wouldn't worry about how people will "look at you" because you are not married. It's far more common than you think these days. Good luck to you whatever your decision may be.
2006-11-17 06:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋