I was asked for an advice from a friend of mine who is experiencing such drama! He loves his Chinese girl friend and they’ve been together for 3 years. They went through ups and downs, but they are still with each other and love each other. Until her student visa ended she had to go back to China. He was with her until the end. Now she is in China and he still calls her almost everyday. He says he is willing to marry her now as he made a mistake not doing so before when she was with him, but as she is Buddhist, she has to convert to Muslim for him to marry her. He was afraid what will his parents will say. She is not sure as well if she will be able to convert as she is scared form the idea. He told me that he is willing to do anything for her, but when it comes to religion he cannot break the rules! I could not advice him more than telling him to be just a friend as it is very complicated situation! Any advice?
2006-11-17 05:44:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
- My friend told me that he did ask the Imam about this, and his Imam said that he can marry Muslim, Christian, or Jew woman. But because she was never one of the above then she has to convert to only Muslim!!
- She is scared from being Muslim because her parents told her about all the stereotypes of Muslim men beating up their wives. He told me that he told her many times he is not that type of person, and she knows him not being so.
- She is also scared that his family will not like her
- Also what really makes things interesting he is learning Chinese, so that he can speak with her parents!
2006-11-17 06:07:35 · update #1
It's not about ethnic backgrounds, it's about religion. A Muslim man can indeed marry a Chinese woman if she converts her religion to Islam. Or he could marry an American Muslim, a Spanish Muslim, a Russian Muslim, an Indian Muslim, a Norwegian Muslim...and so on.
Your friend doesn not want to defy his parents or his religion. This fear of "breaking the rules" is his concience warning him that something is not right with his relationship with this woman.
The fact that she is unable or unwilling to convert to Islam doesn't bode well for the relationship either.
True love means doing anything; literally ANYTHING to be with the one you love. In your friend's case, he must be willing to defy his parents AND his religous beliefs to marry an "infidel." If he does, he must be prepared to be disowned completely by his family and most of his (Islamic) friends. He may also have to deal with hostility and threats from other Muslims.
In the girl's case, she must also be willing to defy HER parents, and HER cultural upbringing to convert to Islam to be with him. I am no expert on Buddhism, but I believe that someone can still practice Buddhism while being a member of another religion... but she would still have to deal with being disowned and ignored by her family.
Are either one of these two people willing to do that? Are either one of them willing to give up everything they know, all their family and most of their friends for the other person? If not, then while they are clearly in love, this is not the "true" love.that will "always find a way."
Both of your friends need to do some serious soul-searching to see exactly how much they love each other, how much they are willing to give up in order to be together.
2006-11-17 06:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by devil_bunny_99 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marrying A Chinese Woman
2016-11-10 00:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by forker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a muslim woman who is attracted to Chinese men. I would love tovmarry a Chinese man only if he was a muslim. The thought of marrying for love is romantic but in reality it would cause a lot of emotional problems if we were not in spiritual harmony.
2016-03-19 10:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the chinese lady only scared about her fiance's religion or there's something else? Get to the bottom of that so that any differences will be settled.Your friend should let the lady know the expectations of a muslim wife.They should both work things out and fight for their love.
2006-11-17 05:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He is willing to do anything for her, but when it comes to religion, he cannot break the rules!"
That is so much s***!
What kind of love is that, that he can qualify it with a 'but'? Thank God it is her that he loves and not me because I would tell him to keep it.
Listen, religion is the cause of so much nonsense in this world, that it makes me sick. People need to understand and make sensible decisions based on honesty and what is right. What some old dead person decided in some ancient time and place does not determine your/her/his existence.
It is a man - a faulty, imperfect, human man like himself - who made that ruling by which he has set his heart. Was that man soing what was best for all men? NO! He cannot know that! No mere man can!
We, as intelligent folk, must use our hearts and minds and consciences to decide what's best, how we treat others, how we speak to our friends and relatives, our colleagues at work, how we relate in everyday life to all people, because we all have our own thoughts and ways, but we all are worthy of being loved and cared for.
It is impossible to have someone far removed from your situation tell you how to treat with it. If he loves her as you say, then there is no problem. I know of a Hindu attorney who married a Catholic Black woman and both sides of the couple disowned them. They have been married for over 40 years and have grandchildren. Their 6 children are all married and gainfully employed - well educated, too. They love each other even today in spite of the odds against them.
There is no problem, I say!
2006-11-17 06:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest your friend speak to a muslim scholar about this. Then he should think things thru before committing, either way. It is possible for a muslim to marry a jew, christian, parsi (without conversion) budhists are not "ehle kitaab". But i would also suggest he speak to the girl (tell her about the religion, let her read up on islam). It does not make sense for her to convert for namesake. Also her fear is due to her lack of knowledge (she does not know what she is converting to), if she reads up, at least she will be able to decide for herself
2006-11-17 06:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by atts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. first i want to ask our frends not to use bad words for RELIGIONS ,& than i think ur Muslim Friend should step ahead only IF she is accepting ISLAM since he also sounds Religious like i :D so they might get probelms later & if she accepts it than Wish them the Happiest married life !
2006-11-17 06:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
got so many muslim women to marry whyy muslim man marry a pigster.
2015-05-05 05:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by Sikkandar 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1
2017-03-08 20:49:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without playing games, don’t be available 100% of the time or let your life be an open book. A man that comes on too strong or doesn’t have outside interests will scare a woman away just as much as it would if the circumstances were reversed. Read here http://AttractAnyWoman.emuy.info/?1by5
Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.
2017-02-15 19:26:54 · answer #10 · answered by Campbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋