I have been married for almost 8 years and I want to show my man that I love him without the sex. Sex has become so routine and sometimes inconvienent (aka 4 kids) that I need something else. Any suggestions?
2006-11-17 05:42:58 · 25 answers · asked by Brat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have done every sex act that he would allow me to. He doesn't like going out much, he's always tired from working 10 -12 hr days, I cook but he preferrs PB & J sandwhiches, he won't let me touch his feet or back for a massge cause they hurt. See I have tried thing this is my last resort thanks for all the comments keep them coming maybe something my spark.
2006-11-17 06:06:07 · update #1
Yes, sex is inconvienent with for 4 kids so you prefer to show it another way.
Ever think he may prefer you showing it with sex?
Why should your preferance be more important than his?
I ask this because you are the one trying change things.
He may see you not being sexual as NOTputting the work into the relationship.
2006-11-17 06:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without sex? hmmm well I would say that you guys should make some time for each other. Having 4 kids must be stressful, you should go do something together. Try and have some fun doing something that he likes to do. Maybe something that you do not normally do together, there are all sorts of possibilities.
2006-11-17 05:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think sex shows that you love somebody, it just shows that you want sex.
Actions speak louder than words - you can show your guy that you love him a million ways, every day. When he's sick, baby him with chicken soup and hot tea, be concerned. Make him lunches for work. Give him a massage when he's stressed out. Listen when he's upset. Make little frustrations and errands that come up in his life "go away" by taking care of them for him sometimes. Tell him you love him in more than three little words by telling him what you like about him when it comes up. For example, if he does something great with the kids, tell him, "Hon, I love that you can give Johnny such great advice.". If he is there for his friends to talk to, tell him you love that he's such a good friend to his pals. If his friend does something great for him, let him know you're glad he that guy as a buddy because you like it when his friends are good to him.
2006-11-17 05:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by steve d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn how to knit and make him a blanket or a sweater. That way he will always remember/think of you when he is wearing and all the effort you put into making it.
Learn how to cook his fav. meal from scratch (If you don't know how to already)
Make him some brownies, or his fav cookies every once in a while to show that you were thinking of him during the day.
Write little love notes and hide them in places (like his coat pockets, his briefcase, etc)
2006-11-17 06:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are conditioned to equate sex with love. Love is patient, kind, does not argue, shows respect..you can show love by respect of space, listening, fully engaged and being in the moment with the person. in the long term by being committed to his happiness and supportive of his life's goals while he does the same for you. think you need to look at bigger picture and and at values. after 8 years yes sex can be routine,,maybe try to open up and be more creative.main thing is communicate. relationship is about other things now not sex...that is normal after all.
2006-11-17 05:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by wili 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been married for that long i think that he should understand. But consider this: why has sex become inconvienent?
are you not trying new things?
maybe you should try and get the kama sutra and try new things this way maybe the sex will be fun again.
2006-11-17 05:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling him you love him is a biggie. Showing him you do by doing for him is another. But without sex men begin to wonder. It is truly one of the most important intimate things for men.
Find a way at least once a month to be alone and show him that way how much he means to you. I know how hard it is to do but you must.
2006-11-17 05:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a hands on guy, help him in the garage and be one of the guys with him. I enjoy it when my wife gets dirty with me while building something or working on the cars. When I can ask her to hand me the 9/16" boxed end wrench and she knows what I am talking about turns me on. Drink a beer with him and watch some drag racing on the tube......
2006-11-17 05:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by aubreytaegan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe have dinner going when he comes home, and when he walks thrugh the door give him a nice hug @ kiss then sit him down take his shoes off rub his feet,back etc. then help him to the shower, but don't scrub his back cause it'll lead to sex.Well he's in the shower lay out his clothes, then jusr have him sit in his favirote spot and serve him dinner and just let him enjoy his evening at home. thats what I do for my husband every now and then,.....
2006-11-17 05:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write cute, little romantic or sexy notes on post-its, and put them in his jacket pocket b4 he goes to work. they will be a pleasant surprise when he does find them
otherwise try a nice massage with oils, candles and soft music, and make a "no sex" rule. that way you get to appreciate eachother so much more, and explore eachothers bodies without it becoming about sex. its a wonderfull way to just spend time together...
2006-11-17 05:49:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋