cyber cheating.....My husband seems addicted, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Question

This has been happening on and off for 4 years at least. I've let him get away with it too easily before but now i've finally had enough.....he ain't ever gonna stop. Has anyone ever found that counselling is worth the bother?

Answer 1

Hello Blue Rose. What a cool name. Okay. Here it is. Cyber Porn is as addicting as crack cocaine or heroin. It is almost impossible to get off. The road back from Porn Hell is not an easy one. For your hubby to recover from this addiction, and it is an addiction, he will have to have a LOT of counseling. He would need a 12 step program for sex addicts. They are a lot of them out there.
I am sorry you have to go through this. He has taken a very important part of himself from you with this addiction. I also know that he has stepped on your self-esteem and on your heart. When the one you love is looking at someone else, even if it is on a computer screen, you feel betrayed. You feel like you cannot measure up to the crap he is looking at. You don't deserve that. I bet you are always there for him, and when he should be wooing you, he is wooing that darn computer screen.
You are his wife, the only women who deserves that kind of attention. It IS cheating. He is betraying you. You deserve better than that. He has a lot of making up to do. He has put your heart through hell, I am sure. I know you no longer feel safe with him. You know longer feel sure that he is 100% committed to your relationship. If he cannot give up a cold computer because it causes you pain, then how can he be there for you when you really need him? When it really counts?
I bet that he tells you that you are trying to control him. That it is just harmless fun. Well it is not harmless when it is causing you pain and driving a wedge between you and your mate. He needs meetings for the sex addict. He needs to find out what the root cause of this problem is. But most importantly you need to heal. There is a lot of hurt inside of you. Even if he does not want to seek help, you should. A few sessions of counseling will go a long way in helping deal with the hurt he has caused. I wish you the best my friend and God bless.

Answer 2

Yes sweetie, tonight when he come in, and takes a shower, go up to him and take his pant down, then kneel down and show him what the real world is all about dear. Don't turn him loose or back off untill you have taken all he has and all he can give out. Then ask him if he can get that on the Damed computer!! G

Answer 3

Either get rid of the husband, get rid of the computer, or get over it. There are some that would suggest a keystroke logger, however, depending on where you live and computer ownership there may be legal issues involved. You really haven't given enough information about the situation to give an effective answer.

Answer 4

Get rid of the internet connection or get rid of the husband. Where do you draw the line when it comes to cheating? What if one day he decided to meet one of his cyber friends in real life...then would it be enough for you to second guess your marriage. Tell him that if he doesn't quit you'll divorce him. Cheating is cheating no matter if it's virtual or not. Why he may not be physically doing it..he's still emotionally cheating on you since he obviously has no respect for your feelings.

Answer 5

Well one...by your id it looks like you are due shortly with twins....a lot of men are not comfortable having sex when their women are far along in their pregnancy...that is one thing. Second, porn is pretty normal. I do not even let it bother me....what looks like a ton due to the history is probably only about 20 min of surfing. Online porn is usually just clips and pieces not full length movies. I would just tell him that you are uncomfortable with the lack of intamacy in your relationship not attack him with the porn issue because that is most likely not the issue. Good luck.

Answer 6

For my guy it was never a problem until it started interfering with our sex life. He became more interested in his internet life than our own. Eventually he became so addicted that he would outright refuse to sleep with me because he was getting his kicks from the internet. I would prance around in my panties (or even naked) and he wouldn't even get aroused. I became uber depressed and I never said a word about it and cancelled our internet subscription behind his back. I also pasted a picture from one of his "websites" as a desktop background. We have sex now but he still has yet to grow up and talk to me about it :)

Answer 7

My husband has profiles on almost all of the dating websites. He says he just likes to look at the pictures, but that's bullcrap. I have figured out all of his passwords, and he e-mails girls constantly. Guys says they just like the chase. Most likely you won't be able to get him to stop. You pretty much have to tell him to decide between your marriage and his cyber girlfriends.

Answer 8

No internet, no chance to cyber cheat. But, if he's so comfortable with cyber cheating, who's to say he won't cheat for real?

Answer 9

Tell him that its either his computer sluts or you. From what you indicated in your post about him seeming to be addicted, I would say that it won't be the first time he will choose that over you.

Answer 10

So long as it remains Cyber......its virtual....so no REAL harm done. Ask him if he would love to see you talk dirty with strangers!!!.....that should do it. If he says "fine"......then just pick up strangers over the internet (there are millions out there) and start talking dirty......share your screen with him......show him what they are writing and what u wrote back in return.......then we'll see how he feels. Try it......works fabulously!!