I had an affair with a married man while I was married, now I am divorced?

Question

our relationship has changed, and I am not happy with it, I didnt leave my husband because of him I left because my husband abused me emotionally and physically,

Answer 1

Go for the nice guys. I know sound nuts, and it just might work.()

Answer 2

Part of the problem with having an affair and then ending up with the other person is that once the "affair" is over and it's become a relationship that everyone knows about, the excitement wears off. There was a longing for a life that you wanted, and now you've got it.

Take a break from any relationships and enjoy being single.

Answer 3

I am not sure that I understand your question, but now that you are divorced and free, that puts you in a different class that your lover who is still married. You two were fulfilling needs that were not being met as married people, but now you, in the eyes of your lover, are, or will have needs, that will conflict with his marriage. If he leaves his wife and you two get together, it probably will not work out for you. You are mixing two different worlds, and baseing a relationship on an unrealistic situation. The best thing for you to do is to give yourself time to get over the whole mess and then find someone new. I have done these pieces and parts relationships, in and out of marriage, and it just never worked out for me. Good luck G

Answer 4

If your husband abused you, it was but natural that you looked around for an understanding soul to listen to your woes. And if this led to an affair, it wud probably be because you wanted to feel wanted. But now that you are divorced, you are no more emotionally upset. Stay away for a while and think clearly and then follow what your concience tells you. But stay away from married men, unless you want to be the other woman who does not have any legal sanction

Answer 5

The relationship has changed between you and your married lover, because he may think that you want more because you are now divorced. And to him, that will interfere with his life. And do not fool yourself, you left your hubby for another man...the emotional support and the fact he didn't beat you. You were trying to escape your reality. You should not have cheated to begin with, you should have ended the divorce on the grounds of him abusing you. :)

Answer 6

The relationship may have changed because your circumstances changed. Free of abuse, a person relaxes then gets energized for their future. The married man may have just been a band-aid but not the cut has healed and you don't need that anymore.

Answer 7

looks like you just need some time for yourself. I don't think a relationship is what you need right now. An abusive marriage can do a lot of damage to your self worth. Take some time out for yourself, go find out what a wonderful person you are, then get into a relationship with someone who deserves you.

Answer 8

Well you shouldn't have had the relationship in the first place. And yes it is changed you are available and he isn't. He to my way of looking didn't want a serious relationship in the first place because of both of you being married. but now that you are single it puts him in an awkward situation because he still doesn't want to leave his wife.

Answer 9

As a married women you were clearly safe from wanting more than he was willing to give you. Now at any moment you might ask for more. Painting the picture of perfect life with someone is much more fun when you know it will never happen.

Answer 10

You need some time to yourself. Married me are not good for the soul, because you will never be able to have them to yourself because they have built something with their wives and dont want to trade that in for anything in the world, the just want to have some fun on the side and end up falling for the chick and still want her to be there although they still with their wife and thats not fair to you are the wife. If your question is about your married lover then you need to leave him along and take sometime out to tend to yourself before you decide to have another relationship. and see your relationship with the married lover changed becasue you were obligated to someone else and you wouldnt demand alot of his time and get to attached but now that you are single he's scared. You will want more time to be with him and you are falling deeper and he dont want that drama because he dont want to loose his wife.

You need to leave him along and let him and his wife deal with his issues and take sometime out to find yourself. I hope I made some sense and understood your question.

Answer 11

The grass always seems greener on the other side. I think you need to take time out for yourself and heal. It sounds as if there is alot of damage in your relationships.