While browsing through our pictures folder, I accidentally discovered old pornographic photos of my husband and his old girlfriend. The pictures are from before my husband and I got together, so this is not an indication of infidelity. I am not opposed to porn, so the porn is not the issue. It's one thing to see some attractive strangers have sex. It is another to see images of your husband having sex with another woman. I feel hurt and betrayed because he had five years to get rid of those pictures.
I confronted him as soon as he came home from work. He took responsibility for his actions and apologized. He is genuinely sorry to have hurt me. But I still feel unattractive and insecure about our relationship. Is there a non-religious book or website that might be able to help? Most of the readily available advice is religious in nature, but that does not apply to me because I am not religious. I am looking for a secular approach to dealing with porn-related issues within marriage.
2006-11-17 05:15:25 · 8 answers · asked by ConfusedWife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did he trash the photos in your presence that way you knew they were out for good? I would feel the same as you. You should not, however, feel unattractive and insecure. It is not as if they were out in the open to make you feel worse. If you want any advice then I would suggest you going to a therapist and asking them. They won't be religious with you, so that is no problem. If he genuinely forgot about them and is sorry, then the issue is now with you. Good luck! :)
2006-11-17 05:22:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
2
2016-07-19 09:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he had was not porn. It was pictures of him with a former lover. Get off the soapbox dear. The issue here is trust. Did he hide this or was it you never asked and he never told? You should talk with him and ask why he kept them. Let him know what you want to see out of him and that you do not like him having pics of his exes. Before I got married i said x-boyfriend pics, letters, etc. had to go. Not that I was insecure, but why hold on to the past, look toward the future.
2006-11-17 05:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he forgot about the pics...they are no big deal though I understand that they would not be fun to look at. Accept his apology and go on with life. Your husband loved you enough to marry you so he chose you over that other woman. As far as secular self-help web sites - I don't now if there are such things. If it continues to bother you to the point where it is affecting your marriage, think about seeing a counselor.
2006-11-17 05:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a bit of an overreaction. I found a photo of my now wife's naked ex-husband. But it was buried in a box in the basement. Sometimes out of sight is out of mind. If you confronted him and he refused to throw them out, then and only then, might you have an issue.
2006-11-17 05:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look into something like the "addiction" of it. porn is an addiction and can lead to other things speaking from experience.
2006-11-17 05:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're upset over nothing. You're husband had lovers before he met you, you just never actually saw them together until now. Get over it. It means absolutely nothing now.
2006-11-17 05:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get over it! I can't believe this is even something that is worth worrying about.
2006-11-17 05:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by hunter6543 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋