why do people automatically think teenagers bad behaviour is because of their dysfunctional family?

Question

My family was about as far from perfect as it gets .After my mother died and my dad turned to drink when i was 9 i was the only one looking after my 4 brothers and sisters ,I might be a bit illiterate(as people on here seem so fond of pointing out) but all the rest got an education and a good job And none of us turned into criminals or thugs In fact a lot of people who did end up on drugs and in prison were from the posh families who looked down on us

Im not a teenager anymore (i wish i was sometimes) i was giving my family that i grew up in as an example that a less than perfect parent doesn`t have to mean delinqunt kids and bad kids can come from any family.

Answer 1

They somehow believe that children spend the most time with their parents or with people that their parents would otherwise disapprove of, but given that their parents have "no personal assertiveness" or are working long hours in difficult and unpleasant jobs they have no time to see what their kids are up to and hence from whom they are receiving their bad influence. Society also assumes that bad parents are a bad influence on their children, whom it is assumed spend all day watching and learning bad habits from mum and dad. I think offspring in any situation get to compare their own parents with other people's families. Every family is dysfunctional in some way. It doesn't matter how you start out, as long as you finish the right way.

Answer 2

Firstly, well done to you and your family - if only others could follow your example.

However I think that in some cases this is probably true to be fair, but it is a position that has been abused and now all too often is simply used as an excuse to get sympathy and therefore leniency in the courts.

It is a shame that our courts fall for it and therefore we see thugs and criminals being let out to bring misery and suffering to yet more victims.

In addition, the current human rights laws do not help one bit to the point now where it is becoming dangerous. The government needs to move but won't because it fears it will upset voters, yet what it doesnt realise is that voters are more upset at having their right to live safely and peacefully being compromised.

The solution - vote for a new party come the next election.

Answer 3

I think its a bit of both ..maybe you had a good community around you and extended family and role models...if you were born in a "sink " estate were the most important thing was the biggest gold bracelet and the people who wore these were drug dealers who would you look up to...also in the last ten years there has been such massive interference by the governments as to how we run our lives people are loosing the ability to take responsibility and always blame others for there actions.And that's were its wrong we should all be responsible for ourselves and others and have respect for each other ,unfortunately I feel there is almost a "the world owes me something " attitude these days instead of people wanting to achieve things for themselves .
Its just really hard when people almost seem rewarded for doing wrong .some common sense government is needed badly

Answer 4

I think your story is actually the opposite of your question - you are describing turning out well despite of a difficult upbringing. In your question though, you are asking why teenagers' bad behaviour is often blamed on a poor upbringing, and the truth of this is that it very often IS because of this. You have shown determination and strength of character, that is how you have become a success even though your childhood was hard, but many are not so able to do this and a high percentage of drop-outs to be found drunk on the streets come from families where they are not valued and have been badly brought up.

Answer 5

Clearly , dysfunctional families 99% of the time produce children with behavioural problems many who descend into criminality.
I'm not judging them , but neither should we pretend any different, its simple fact.
However, I do agree that it shouldnt have to be a reason .Moreover its just an excuse!
There are many people from deprived backgrounds that manage to pull themselves up by the bootstraps , but there are more that blame everyone else for there inability to progress(usually the black community)
the 21st century has seen a continued erosion of the working class and some of its attitudes, unfortunatley its been replaced by a worse disease, political correctness.

Keep smiling and lets vote for a government that can help with social issues instead of using it as an excuse to spy on us.

Answer 6

Because often it is. Bad behaviour doesn't have to be caused by a dysfunctional family, and likewise, a dysfunctional family doesn't have to cause bad behaviour. However, it happens often enough to provide an obvious and rather glib excuse/reason for bad behaviour. But we should remember that in terms of families, materially deprived doesn't mean dysfunctional, or that 'posh' or wealthy means functional.

Also, if it bad behaviour can be blamed on the 'dysfunctional' family, it removes the need for society to look at itself for the cause of that behaviour.

To those who bash liberals for giving people excuses for their behaviour - this isn't what happens, but that the way people turn out depends 99.9% on what happens to them during their lives - including their upbringing. That's not to say that bad events MUST create bad people; everyone at every stage of their life can make decisions as to their behaviour - but those decisions are based on what each individual sees as normal and acceptable; and what they see as normal and acceptable is often determined by the way they were treated at a young age. That's not to say that people can't change - to believe that they can't change is to provide the excuse for their behaviour. To help someone to change, you have to understand what has made them the way they are.

Answer 7

I think bad behaviour does run in families. But it's got as much to do with genetics as with upbringing.

If your mum and dad are thoroughly nasty, chances are you will be too. This doesn't seem to have been the case with you - your family just seem to have been desperately unlucky.

But it's totally wrong for people to use their families as an excuse for their bad behaviour. We all get to make choices in life.

And of course, most people who suffer deprivation as children grow up to be law-abiding citizens. It's just a minority who turn out bad.

Well done on making a success of your life in such difficult circumstances. I hope your brothers and sisters are grateful for all you've done for them.

All the best.

Answer 8

I don't think you are illiterate. In fact, you seem to be a very sensible, well-balanced individual. You've had a hard time and now you need to get rid of that 'chip on your shoulder'. Lots of teenagers aren't as nice as you and yes, sometimes their families are to blame but sometimes society is to blame. I often wonder when it all started to go wrong. I hope you have a lovely life now with plenty of time for yourself - you deserve it. Lots of luck.

Answer 9

Disfunctional families are familiar words to our society, so that is why they put it on the teenagers without really knowing what brought them to bad behavior. My opinion is that each child is responsible for their own behavior. The Bible says, "Even a child is known by his/her doings." A child being brought up by a parent with that knowledge can still have a kid that is known for bad behavior. Sad but true!

Answer 10

actually dysfunctional kinfolk. Divorce hurts, yet each so often it particularly is mandatory. My mothers and dads are divorced or maybe even though it sucked going from place to place, i'm happy they are actually not jointly anymore by way of fact all they did grew to become into combat that's extremely undesirable, distinctly of babies are in touch.