HUGE problem?

Question

Ok, so I have an issue. I'm not really sure what to do....any advice would really be great. I am married with 2 kids (3 and 20 months). I've been married for about 4 years now, together for 5. We were kind of forced into getting married a little bit. I wasn't ready to I was only 21, but I did anyway. I ended up cheating one time, but it wasn't just a one night thing, we actually reallly liked each other. I could say that I loved him. We stopped talking and just started talking again. I really like him still and I know that the feelings are REALLY mutual. I don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

I would suggest both you & hubby go to a Christian church in your neighborhood... The Pastor can give you free counselling which would be very beneficial. God restored my marriage and is better than before...He can do it for you but you need to have Faith in Him(Jesus). Plus you both need to ask Jesus in your heart.

God says:
Jer 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Seek and you will find.
You can also try reading "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Your hubby can start reading "Power of a Praying Husband" It is an eye opener in life, marriage, prayer & God.
You see 2 yrs. ago there was infidelity in my marriage. satan was telling me how unhappy I am in my marriage etc...and I started throwing divorce at my husband here and there. I praise God my husband was patient with me. I started praying about it bc I knew Prayer is Powerful. My husband prayed too. Some months went by and I started looking at my marriage in a different perspective. There was forgiveness which is very important. I was more loving and not so negative. I had joy and bitterness had left.

Satan wants to destroy you & hubby & marriage. DON"T LET HIM!

I pray you & your hubby choose Jesus! The truth will set you free. Not the lies that satan is whispering to him & you.

God Bless!

P.S. By going to church, your children will also benefit. They have nice childrens programs and such a great environment for them.

Answer 2

This is a tough one. In the long run, you have to take a long look at your life and where you want to be when your children are growing up etc. If you are truly unhappy now, maybe it's time to nip it in the bud and get a divorse, you won't be the first person to do such a thing, especially since you felt forced into it to begin with. A huge question would be to ask yourself if this other guy is worth it. I mean what kind of character does he have to get himself involved with a married woman with two infants? Will he step in as a father figure for your kids during custody time?

You've made your preverbial bed and brought two additional lives into the world. Your priorities should ultimately be to make sure they are safe, healthy and raised in a good environment.

Answer 3

You are just young and trying to feel that way. Having two young kids is hard at any age, to a certain degree you didn't get to be young, now saddled (although I am sure you love them) with two young kids you are looking for anything to make you feel wothwhile and like a person seperate from being a mommy...
You won't like this but I don't think you love this other man, you are having an affair. You won't like this either but you need to end it and address what is really going on in your life, if you can afford it, get some help, this is about your situation, not the men. good luck, this doesn't make yo a bad person, just a confused one right now, try to do the right thing. good luck.

Answer 4

You can talk to your husband and tell him that you want a divorce and go off with this man. You haven't said anything about your husband if he's a good husband and dad or just the fact if you love him or not. You'd have to stop and think about a man who would go for a married woman, still in relationship with her husband, it's not like you guys are separated. He has little to no morals. Plus he might be with you for that fact, the thrill of being with someone he can't fully have, and when you get with him, he isn't really going to want you anymore. Has happened, be careful.

Answer 5

It always amazed me that people have kids and then suddenly life is all about the adults and what feels good to them and how should they move on and make it with someone else. No one ever brings up the kids nor seems to think for even 5 minutes how breaking up the home will affect them. Sheesh........ you'd think a mother would not want to hurt and ruin her kids life. Are you a real mom or did those kids just pop out and you never really cared? Do what is right not what feels good.

Answer 6

You are just hurting your children

So, you don't want your husband anymore and you like the other guy.


1.- You have to ask yourself WHY your husband is not good enough so you go and seek other men's affection. Not good in bed? Not enough love and care?

2.- Once you have your own answer you go and talk to your husband about things that you lack and would make better. That way you give it a chance to work.

3.- Once you have REALLY REALLY tried to save your marriage and did not work, they you look for a good divorce. NOT FIGHTING, but a good divorce.

Answer 7

I guess it really depends on how much you want to put your kids through.

Does your husband know you cheated? If he does, maybe he will agree to you two having an open relationship (meaning you're still married - mostly for the children's sake, but are allowed to have sexual relations with other people).

If you don't think he'll agree and you want to continue this other relationship, investigate Divorce.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

21 years old is way too young to commit. I was married young and not very aware of my emotions. As we mature our compatibility with our mates will either grow together, or go in opposite ways. Unfortunately for you, it sounds like you never had the compatibility to begin with. My suggestion is to move on, just make sure that your children are secure and you maintain a good relationship with your spouse, and keep custody as flexible as possible. It's never easy on the children, but its not easy on them either when either parent are unhappy in a relationship. My parents never got along, but stayed in a marriage for the six kids. I would of rather had my parents separated and happy than to be bought up in an unhealthy household. Our kids grow up and find their own lives eventually... if you don't seek your happiness you might never find it. It's good to be concerned about the welfare of our children, but we count too! They are alot happy when we are!

Answer 10

a marriage without trust and communication is doomed. loving the other guy doesn't justify the fact that you cheated but what's done is done. what you have to do now is let your husband know. everyone involved deserves to know the truth and everyone deserves to be happy. how you get there is up to you guys but you know that your children must come first in whatever happens. take care and good luck!