he responded... what do I get? and she wrote back " ha ha..." Earlier this year my husband admitted to having an emotional affair with a co-worker. We have gone through counseling and I was under the impression that he is really working hard at saving this marriage and then I found this.... What do you make of it. Am I getting upset over nothing?
2006-11-17 04:32:26 · 23 answers · asked by gowiththegut 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to judge that one. He could have been just joking in a friendly way, or it could have been more. No way to tell from what was said.. emails don't have a tone of voice, unfortunately.
2006-11-17 04:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pashta 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not getting upset over nothing! That's odd...
It's hard though because he works with these people and there really isn't much you can do to prevent him from going to work... ya know by asking him to not speak to her anymore. It usually takes a lot of work for a man/woman to try and change their old ways...I really would look into more counseling. But try asking him about it first. Don't tell him you saw the letter, make sure he doesn't try lying to you first.
2006-11-17 12:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by Roxy1316 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's definitely flirting, I'd say. I don't think you are getting upset over nothing, but I don't think I'd approach him with it just yet. If he is in fact flirting, he would most likely lie to you about it then change his methods.
Keep checking his email. Look for changes in him that are indicators of affairs - change in his routine or working hours, a renewed interest in his appearance, change in his outlook on life or opinions, etc.
If you have access to his cell phone, look for unfamiliar numbers in his call log. You can use a number of on line reverse phone search directories to find out who he's calling. If the call log is deleted, he is most likely deleting them for a reason. Likewise, if you have access to the cell phone account, or pay the bill, call the service provider and ask for detailed billing. For a couple extra dollars a month you can see who he has called, and who has called him, whether he deletes the call log in his phone or not.
I've been cheated on twice, so I know it's devastating. Just don't fall into the trap of wanting to believe him so much to save the marriage that you go against your true feelings and give away yourself.
2006-11-17 13:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by Govt45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still cheating whether emotional or actual. Does not take you serious and has no respect for you. I would ask him very casually and then watch how defensive or angry he gets about the whole deal. Once trust is lost it is very hard to rebuild and with his actions it is not making it any better. Sorry you have to go through this.
2006-11-17 12:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to find out if this letter was from the time he told you that he was having an emotional affair or if it is recent. You don't want to jump to conclusions if this was from the past. Talk to him and find out what the deal is and take it from there. Good luck to you .
2006-11-17 12:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by BASHFUL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if we all ditched our significant others every time they did a little harmless flirting, we would all be single and miserable. I wouldn't react too critically to this one without finding something a little more substantial to go on. I mean what harm was done? If you hadn't broke the trust barrier in the first place by reading his email, you would not have even known about it.
2006-11-17 13:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by Agent69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no offense here but, your husband has a life outside of home. and he has to work and spend a lot of time with co-workers,and when you spend a lot of time with them they become like friends,and you treat them as such. your husband cannnot turn off emotions as he leaves for work, the store, lunch whatever. every day he will have conversations, with people it's no big deal. really. hey when you communicate, jokes will happen...that is really an office joke.....
2006-11-17 12:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by tgdjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have all rights to be upset about it because he shouldn't expect anything in return especially from an girl he works with.
2006-11-17 13:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by nikki_75426 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very possible that working urself out over nothing. But more counselling i advise.
2006-11-17 12:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by fafayo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Errr. This one isn't easy. It could be nothing, it could be something. Why don't you ask, and when he denies anything try to dig a little deeper. Not to force a confession, but just to be sure its nothing.
2006-11-17 12:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋