Do I have the right to be mad??????????

Question

I have been married for 4 yrs. My husband and I each have a seperate account and a joint account , we also have seperate credit cards. I am a spender , my husband is a saver. He took my personal credit cards as well as personal debit card because he said I was spending too much money. We both work full time and are by no means hurting for money. I feel he is treating me like a child. Do I have the right to be mad??????

I did ask this question earlier but i see there r different people on now.

Answer 1

i imagine he has a right too.. i because how much debt you have affects him too believe it or not... he probably doesn't want to wreck his credit rating with your spending habbits..

perhaps you need to talk to him.. and figure out how much you can both spend as free whatever i want to buy cash.. and just use cash to buy stuff..

i dont think you have a right to mad.. as being married its a partnership.. everyone is equal.. and he probably feels your spending to much

Answer 2

Maybe you should sit down together and decide on a personal budget like an allowance for each of you, then also on an amount to save. For example 10% of your paycheck should go into savings so that you each will eventually have a 6 month emergency fund in case one of you loses a job, or needs to stay home due to illness or for a child. Everyone needs some spending money though, and as long as you both stick to the 'financial plan' it should work out all right. Why not have a spending money jar? When it's empty, then you are sol. Wait for the next payday.

Managing money is an acquired skill, and he is concerned for you, maybe his methods are a little extreme, but credit cards have a really bad tendency to get overloaded. The interest rate on cc is really high and accumulates faster than gerbil babies!!!

Answer 3

It would seem that you are acting like a child if you don't feel the need to save, are overspending and need separate accounts. You may not be hurting for money today, but what about if one or both of you lost your jobs? It's not cute to say "I'm a spender" and use that as an excuse to go into debt.
If you feel you have the right to be mad, I suggest you both get some financial counseling and work out a budget that lets you spend a comfortable amount, while saving for the future.

Answer 4

My wife and I are very similar. What we do is we each have certain bills that we pay every month. We work out how much money is left over after the bills and savings, then split the remainder of the money equally between us. Therefore, each time we get paid from work, we both have the same amount of money available to each of us to buy anything we like. No credit cards. If she spends everything before the next pay, she has to go without. And we're not allowed to dip into the savings to cover any potential overspending.

You need to work something out between the two of you that works for you both. Talk about it, don't have one person dictate what the other can or cannot do. There must be some reason why he thinks that this is necessary, so find out what that is. Discuss and discover.

Answer 5

You have sort of a right to be mad. But then again so does he. You are married now there is no such thing has your money and his money. Or Your cards and his cards.They are both of yours regardless of who's name they are in. If you run up bill regardless weather their in his name or not now that you are married he is equally responsible for any debt you accrue. Maybe you should think more about saving instead of spending. Just because you don't have financial woes not doesn't mean you won't in the future.

Answer 6

You have the right to be mad, but you also have a responsibility to spend wisely. Jobs are hard to keep nowadays. I can't begin to tell you what can happen if one of you looses a job. Would you be prepared to change your life to pay for the bills??? Do you have enough saved if you couldn't find a job for 6 months?? I used to be like you, but looking back, it was the best thing my husband ever did for me. Every time I make a purchase, I now think of how may hours I or he would have to work to pay for that specific item in cash. Believe me, you start to walk away from a lot of nice shoes and purses. Best of Luck!!

Answer 7

It depends on what you are spending your money on, and what your husband is saving for ie a better life for you both better home etc and whether you are just spending for the sake of it. Really need more information. If he has taken your cards from your own personal account I think I would be quite mad and I would demand them back especially if you are not overdrawn. If you are overdrawn I can understand it because of the interest charges as any debt you get into will also impact on him. Check how much he spends behind your back for lunch with mates etc and start looking into what hes up to.

Answer 8

Yes, I think you have the right to be angry, but you also need to try to understand where he is coming from. There may be a reason that your husband doesn't want you spending so much money. You need to sit down and talk to him about it. You are both adults and should be able to settle this maturely. Tell him that you don't appreciate being treated like a child. Ask him why he is so worried about you spending money. I think after you discuss this it will all work its self out.

Answer 9

As long as your spending comes from your personal accounts and cards. and, You are capable of paying them off out of YOUR paycheck without skimping on putting YOUR share of money in the joint account. and You are not making him carry an unfair share of the joint expenses. You do have a right to be mad. However if you cannot meet all of the above criteria. Or your purchases in some way require him to make corresponding purchases he does not want to make, then no you do not have a right to be mad.

Answer 10

Maybe he feels like your spending habits are out of control, He is obviously worried about something if he has to go to the lengths of taking your cards away from you. Even though they are your Credit cards he will be responsible for the bills and who do you think the first person you are going to go to when you need money to help pay off your debt is? Him right? so he is trying to teach you the values of saving your money and being responsible. Because marriage means you both..not just you.

Answer 11

Absolutly you have the right to be angry. If you work full time and are contributing to the home you have the right to spend some money. You need to sit down and talk to yuor husband. Maybe he feels left out. There may be something he really wants but doesnt know how to go about it. Good luck