We have been married 18 1/2 yrs. Having a lot of fights, and I want to go to marriage counseling, but he wont. He drinks and drives, drops what hes doing for our family and goes and helps his alcoholic friend and spends money we dont have, we live week to week. I'm ready for a divorce but have 2 teanager and still love him.. Got any advice?
2006-11-17 04:25:59 · 10 answers · asked by mother of 2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well from what I hear, your the one with the problem. You see, he knows where he is, with his friends, the bottle, week to week, he's fine, happy.
Your the one that wants to change, he doesn't. You may as well do something about it. Tell him he's got a week to change his mind, no fighting about it, see what he says and take the initiative.
If he doesn't care, move in with a friend, get an attorney and sue for divorce. He'll have to pay for the kids that way anyhow. Let him have his friends and the bottle.
2006-11-17 04:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps if you go to counseling, you will learn how to leave. You can encourage him to go with you after you've been, but he probably won't go. The hardest part of leaving is the fear. You don't know how you will make it in so many different ways.
Be prepared to cry alot. Start preparing to move out. Sometimes it takes a separation for a couple to realize how much they will miss each other if they can't work things out. Or they realize how nice it is not to have the other dragging them down. Usually it is a bit of both.
With a separation in place, it won't be much different than when your husband gets caught drinking and driving and goes to jail, except that you choose where and how you are going to live. Take control of your life. Otherwise you are telling your teenagers that it is ok to do what your husband is doing, and when things get tough, they'll do it too.
2006-11-17 04:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dawn J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U say 18 1/2 yrs.,,, by this time u shld have known the person completely., u wuld be better knowing the situation wht u r going through as u know the person better than any one., so., u better decide wht to do., as far my knowledge goes marriage is understanding the other person and going on........... so wuld suggest atleast for the 2 children hold on till they settle in their life., ALL the best
2006-11-17 04:36:56 · answer #3 · answered by RADHS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So go get yourself some counseling. You might learn why you stay with a man who drives drunk, overspends and puts your family in jeopardy. And you might decide this is not a healthy environment for the kids.
2006-11-17 04:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to make or break a relationship. IF BOTH desire to do so. It has nothing to do with loving your children. Staying within the marriage doesnt do your (especially) teens any good to see you both constantly fighting. Make a decision, with or without him.
2006-11-17 04:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the h**l out of there. You are co-dependant to an alcoholic. Yes, get counseling so you can leave. He never will change.
2006-11-17 04:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wont go you go. The counselor will help you realize this guy is a bum and you need to move on and away from him.
2006-11-17 04:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope it isn't too late.. it does sound like you both should go to a counselor, and probably hubby needs AA.
2006-11-17 04:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by Pashta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you BOTH need to be in couseling. But, if he refuses to go, you need to get yourself in there!
2006-11-17 04:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are correct
2006-11-17 04:27:34 · answer #10 · answered by egrfethe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋