money question ladies how whould you feel(honestly)and men would you ever ask this of your gf?

Question

my bf and i are to be married next yr.been together 4ys.me single never married,he divorced for 6yrs with one child.he has a huge(27k) debt from divorce ex really took him to the cleaners.he has asked me to help(payoff) with his debt.we both make about the same amount of money (65k yr)and spilt all the household bills but he has a huge child support payment and i don't.i know this sounds mean but i just feel since he CHOSE to have a child with a women he said he never really loved then HE should be the one who has to pay for his mistake.i told him no i wanted to save my money for retairment and he said ok but things are not the same between us now.i know he thinks i'm selfish but i just have a hard time paying of such a huge debt that was cuased by his exwife.please be honest with me im beggining to think i was wrong.

Answer 1

You are not even married yet and he is already asking you to help pay for his child support..........does not sound like a positive way of entering a new marriage..........

Answer 2

I agree that the debt is his responsibility, but I think it will change a little but after you get married. I understand that you want to save for retirement, but it's not going to do that much good to save all your money while he is going completely broke trying to get his debt paid off. If you guys are serious about being together and getting married, I think you need to realize that the money has to be paid from somewhere and after you get married next year, if he doesn't have the money to pay his debt, you are going to have to step in and help him out as his wife.

Answer 3

His debt is his responsibility! Do not invest your money in the past. Rather, protect yourself and your hard work by investing in your own lives. Meaning, if you need to do a little, and I mean little, extra within your own household, fine.

he needs to budget himself properly to pay off his debt, or he should have waited until after to start over. The plain fact is that he should be an asset to you rather than a liability!!!

Love is supposed to be blind not stupid!!! You are right to be hesitant about it. Suppose after all your help he leaves? At least if you save, you will have your own!!

Answer 4

You werent wrong at all. Why should you have to take half the responsibility for his actions. Its like you going to jail for him because he didnt pay child support. You should be entitled to your own money and use it as you see fit. If you choose to help him pay then make a conract out of it and make him pay you back later on. As i see it he made his bed now let him lie in it.

Answer 5

I agree with you...it is not the most loving thing, but what happens if you spend all your money on his debt and then you decide to get divorced..what are you left with? It is his responsibility to take care of past debt.

Answer 6

That's not your responsibility. Of course he wants to split it with you. I wouldn't, though. Let him pay his own debt. Half the household bills is all you are responsible for.

Answer 7

Ah funds! the main straightforward source of debates and fights among couples. that's no rely no rely if or no longer they might desire to plenty or too little, they're going to argue approximately funds. and from my journey, funds is likewise the top explanation for divorce. That suggested, I even tend to agree inclusive of your address issues. He made the mattress for that reason he needs to lie in it. in spite of the undeniable fact that, that's rather useful to envision the marital sources rules on your section to ascertain how issues woudl pass in case you marry him then you definately 2 divorce. additionally, examine to ascertain what your skill criminal duty would desire to be for his money owed. After examining those, you will desire to nicely ascertain that's time for that funds combat now extremely than getting married first. In jurisdictions with equivalent branch of sources it may nicely be he gets a million/2 your retirement mark downs and you get a million/2 his debt in case you divorce later. Professionally, I continuously propose that 2 people who prefer to alter right into a pair set out the floor policies for who owns what coming in, who pays what whilst mutually and who takes what while parting company. in this way, the policies are sparkling and you the two comprehend wher eyou stand financially. To do in any different case is leaving the two human beings open to the whims, thoughts and a possibility wrath of the different if issues pass bitter. no longer that one expects for issues to split, only tha tif they do, one is nicely cautioned to have taken care of the financial edge of the relationship as a company partnership. confident, i comprehend persons get all emotional while pre-marriage agreements are stated yet actuality is, no rely if that's written down then it elliminates one considerable part of arguments later. And dealign with income a businesslike way does nto point out the quantity of love; in effortless terms stable straightforward experience if one is familiar with that close to to a million/2 of marriages bring about divorce.

Answer 8

the fact that you referrred to his child as a "mistake" speaks VOLUMES about you as a person. Grow the hell up.