Should (wo)men stay at home and look after the kids?

Question

If you are a woman with children: Do you want to stay at home and look after your kids?
If you are a man with children: Do you want to stay at home and look after your kids?
If you are a woman with children: Do you want to go out to work and leave your children with somebody else - the father perhaps?
If you are a man with children: Do you want to go out to work and leave your children with somebody else - the mother perhaps?
Assume you get paid the same amount of money whatever you choose.

Answer 1

I chose to stay home with my kids. An extra income would be nice, but it couldnt possible be better than the joys of raising my children myself.

Answer 2

I have no children yet. I would like them. And I would love to stay at home and raise them, but not to the detriment of putting food in their mouths and clothes on their back. If I can afford to take the first few years of their lives off work, then I would love to.

In an ideal world all children would have a parent or a close family member look after them. My mother and father worked and I don't feel like I've missed out on a childhood or am screwed up emotionally in any way. It's just how things were. Both parents served Her Majesty in one form or another.

The problem is that especially in the UK, the government put no incentives to allow women to stay at home and look after their children unlike some other countries such as Sweden.
Raising children is an admirable job, a lot of people can't and for those choosing to stay home and do it well should be rewarded.

I do feel that there is a complete breakdown of family life and values and to be honest, it might be as simple as getting people to raise their own children, then again it might not.

Answer 3

Stay at home mothers are kidding themselves. Staying home all day is not a contribution to the world. Sitting around, watching soaps is not useful. It does not take ALL day to raise children effectively, especially school-age children. If they were a little less selfish, took a part-time job, their husbands could stop working so much and spend some time with their children. Children need BOTH parents. Children smothered by one parent are not more balanced. They are spoiled.

Answer 4

Its a good sociological question. Nature designed woman to look after children [well certainly for the first year or two] but with modern resources and the demands of careers, etc, dads have been left in a position where it is generally just as easy for them to raise the kids as the mum.

The choice comes down to the individual families and their circumstances. Remember that until a few generations ago, women still worked, but families stayed more or less in the same geographical areas, so there was usually someone around to help care for the kids. Communities were much more family orientated. The migration of families away from their roots has left childcare much more of an issue. On a personal level, as a mum of teenage kids, I stayed at home with mine, but i also ran my husbands business from home, combining the two roles, but I would have been just as happy for him to play the stay at home role. Much happier than farming them out to childminders.

Answer 5

Ideally I would be a stay at home mum. I think it's the best start you can give to a child and I think it develops the special relationship a child has with it's mother. Alternatively I would be equally happy for my husband to do it, though I admit I would rather do it myself.

I hate the thought of somebody else bringing up my children and spending more time with them than me, however these days, most people can't afford NOT to work. It's a vicious circle though because when you go back to work you have to pay child care which is astronomical! Though you get what you pay for I guess, and if you can't do it yourself, you need to pay for the next best thing.

Answer 6

Well I've been both and its quite a difficult one to answer. My first child (20) I had to work so he went to a nursery school from 3 mths and with my daughter(19mths) I've been at home for 2 years. At nursery my son had stimulation and interaction with other children which I think is quite important and he was quite independent. I think I had more quality time with him because being at home all the time there are always things that need to be done - a few stolen moments as they say and I also find she is quite wary of new people ... in this day and age maybe its a good thing! The extra income would be very helpful tho'!

Answer 7

Someone needs to, the father should bejust fine but I think that if given the chance I would stay at home with the kids simply because a man makes more money then women do, regardless of the job being done.

Answer 8

This question is everyones personal preference however I think
only the mother or father of a child can totally raise that child in a
manner which they deem to be suitable for todays society. The
main thing to consider is what is most important to the child.
Not enough of us consider the childs health and well being when
making this decision. Money or career become the main considerations and sooner or later the children become unimportant and then thats when all kinds of things begin to happen. For example unwanted pregancies; addicted to drugs
or worse smoking; bulling others and lack of respect for society
as a whole. Maybe its time that parents start to really prioritize
what is important to the family unit as a whole and leave individual
wants lower on scale.

Answer 9

I've been a stay-at-home mum for 7 years, and now I am going back to college to study to be a counsellor. I am also taking on work placements in order to complete my course.

I'm not getting paid this year, and to be honest, although the extra money would be nice, it's not the main reason I'm doing this, it's for personal fulfillment and because I enjoy what I do. When I'm qualified I will be looking for paid work, but I think it is really important for me to have work outside the home for my own personal sanity!

My children go to a childminder after school / nursery, she is another mum at school and a really caring person.

Answer 10

Assuming that I would be paid the same amount, of course, 100 times over, I would stay home and be a homemaker and a mother and wife. These people who claim they are going out to a job to save the world are deluding themselves or trying to delude others. What is so righteous about being told what to do by some****, what rules to follow, commuting in all kinds of weather, being so tired when you get home you almost wish you were alone, no time to exercise, putting with gossips in the office not to mention boring work.....blah blah blah. Honestly,how many people do you see at work who seem to be enjoying it?? and how many wouldn't be at home fi they could still have the same pay.

Answer 11

Research has shown that it can be beneficial to the children...thatsaid it has to be a choice thing because will not be good forthe children if the mother is at home out of duty....she has to want to be there....or the father.....freedom of choice. Child care however in the first five years in particular is formative and the experiences laid down at this time affect the rest of our lives. So whoever is given or takes on the responsibility has to be a positive influence and a consistent one.