Living with the in-laws?

Question

My mother is law is a really sweet person, however, a couple years ago she moved to Miami to live with me and my husband after being kicked out of the house. While she was living with us, she maintained her relationship with my hubby's ex-wife. This was in my face all the time (phone calls etc). And it caused alot of problems for my husband and myself.

One day my husband and I had a really big fight and he asked her to leave, and she did...only to move in with my husband's ex-wife.

What do you gather from this?

Answer 1

This is only my opinion. I think your husband should have explained to his mother that YOU are his wife now. That past life is a closed book. If she wants to be friends with the ex-wife, she can, but not to bring it within YOUR home.

You are his wife now, and should not have to endure having that in your face all the time.

Answer 2

She probably moved in with her to spite you. As long as your husband stands behind you, I would try to act like it doesn't bother me.
She might not have meant any harm in the beginning with the phone calls because i am still friends with my ex Mom in law and I have even stayed all night with her after the divorce.
(for a funeral) My ex husband has moved on with a new woman. I didn't want that to cause a problem with the new woman but my ex-mom and I has known each other for a long time. As far as I know it didn't create a problem. But they all live 400 miles away from me. Good luck. The one that suffers the most is your husband because of the friction that Mom has created between everyone. He is in the middle of the two woman he loves most in life.

Answer 3

Wowwwwwwwwwwww this is just wrong and hurtful towards you. You shouldn't even consider her as being your mom in law. She's not. It's a title that she cannot live up to. Let her stay with the ex and just don't give her the time of day. I hope your husband reads this and realizes what a witch she is and also the ex. The ex should never have interfered and she has/is. The two of you should move on in your relationship, trying to forget her. It's hard cuz it's a relative but hey, SHE made her wrong choice. I wish you and hubby the best of luck and let him read this because he needs to understand his mother has chosen to cause these problems herself. Take care and if it doesn't work let me know and i'll hook you up with my brother. :))))) LOL

Answer 4

Does the ex live in the same town as the two of you? For the moment, she may have no other place to go..... or if she was kicked out of her previous home, she may not have any money to pay for anything. BUT....what I really think, is that she might know how ticked you get over the ex still calling and her relationship with her and when she was asked to leave decided that she would really tick the two of you off and go and ask to live with her. But there's a flip side to this as well.....the ex may be trying to wedge herself between the two of you, knew that you MIL was being asked to leave and took it upon herself to be the 'kind' ex- daughter in law and take her in.
You're in a fine mess. Kudos to your husband for taking your side...many men would side with their mother. Keep fluffing his ego and he'll be more loyal to you....promise.

Answer 5

What do I gather from this? This family is dysfunctional and she likes the ex daughter in law more. Sorry to say that, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but just the way it sounds. Let this go and dont worry about it. Your husband took care of the situation.

Answer 6

It sounds like passive-aggressive bahavior towards you and your husband. You both were good enough to take her into your home when she needed a place to stay (and she took you up on the offer). Did your hubby have kids with the first wife? That may explain the bond between them. Or she may just have really low self esteem and need the attention- any attention, even if it's negative.

Answer 7

Wow, I'm not sure I would feel very good about that. Its kinda like a big slap in the face ! How can she be supportive of your relationship with her son if she is so involved with his Ex. I think she needs to be respectful of your relationship and realize that her son is with you now, it is you that he has chosen to spend his life with. If she wants to maintain a friendship with the Ex, then the least she could do is be more discreet about it.

Answer 8

Sounds like my aunt who likes to stir things up by speaking to the enemy. One evening she had a lavish dinner party and invited her son and new wife, and unknowing to anyone she also invited his ex wife. The boy was made to sit between the wife and his ex. at the dinner table. Of course what yr mother in law is doing is extremely wicked and unacceptable behavior, but there are many reasons for her attitude. Maybe she does not like you or she is amusing herself seeing you fighting with your husband.....You are lucky she left before she destroys your marriage.

Answer 9

She found someone who was willing to put up with her BS. You should be giving your husband tons of kudos for his brave act of kicking her out. The pitfall is that if he wants to see her he will have to arrange to do it elsewhere. Be glad she is out of your house. No good would come of it and she wouldn't be able to help herself from revealing the goings on in your house. Don't worry about it. Let it go and be glad this happened before the holidays.

Answer 10

that you are parinoid , why should she not maintain a relationship with your husbands x they probably loved each other , my mother and my x was the best of friends and loved each other very much , and vice versa , whats wrong with that , give your hubby a break and your xmotherinlaw , people love who they love and theres nothing we can do about it , and that is the way it should be ,